Chapter 47

I grabbed Jasmine and held her close to me, playing her words over in my head while her sobs rumbled in my ear and her tears littered my shoulder. The girl who I thought should have everything going for her, was a broken vessel who envied her kid sister. I thought my heart had been leaking, but Jasmine’s heart was gashed open like the Titanic. “You know it’s not your fault you did that, don’t you? Your dad should have never done what he did.” I held her tight when I reached the end of my ability to help her with words.

“I’ve messed things up and I have no excuse. I spent the whole night holding my cousin in my arms, and this morning I realized how little I knew about love. I wanted to follow my heart, but I never thought you would love me, so I followed my head. I love Susan, too. I’m screwed up if anybody here is screwed up.” I paused when I realized I was pouring my guts into Jasmine’s ear, getting too close to saying something about her mother and me.

Jasmine pushed back. Mascara smeared around her eyes and down her cheeks. “Joe, I haven’t slept with any guy since you and me. That’s why I came outside before. Jeremy has been trying to fuck me since he got here, but I can’t do it. I don’t want anyone, unless they’re, um, well, you.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. The girl I wanted but didn’t think I could have, wanted me all this time. What now? I was in love with Susan, too.

A car started, reminding me that my parents were going out. I listened for them to drive off, then I escorted Jasmine to the back door and into my room. We stood three feet apart. Our outstretched arms connected by our fingertips. The grass stains, and smeared make-up, and disheveled hair didn’t make the shell of a person before me any less beautiful. “I’m sorry I don’t know any other way to show you how special you are to me.”

I pulled the string on the front of her sweatpants. Jasmine’s pants slipped a few inches. I lifted the bottom of her shirt and her arms raised. After her shirt dropped to the floor, I reached around her back and fumbled with her bra. Jasmine reached between her breasts and unhooked it. I smiled appreciatively and carried it slowly down her arms. It fell to join the shirt. I slid my hands around her waist and downward. The sweats pushed past Jasmine’s hips. My heart raced like it was the first time all over again. I dropped my shirt and scanned from the pants stranded at Jasmine’s knees, up her thighs, stopping at the golden V-shaped patch of hair. The new growth seemed delicate.

The circles of pink flesh raised to a perfect cone on top of Jasmine’s grapefruit-sized breasts. I lowered my pants and stepped out of them. I knelt in front of her with my hands wrapped around her thighs. Slowly, my hands moved down her calves, pushing her pants toward the floor. When I reached her ankle, she lifted her foot. I worked the pants off her foot.

Before I could move, her other foot rose, tossing off the pants. I kissed the silky flesh just above Jasmine’s pubic hair. Moving to her belly button, I circled it with my tongue, and stood, inhaling the sweet and sour scents of that day. The smell of grass, sweat, and peach body wash would forever access this moment in time.

We wrapped our arms around each other, pressing our naked bodies together. Jasmine held me tighter than any girl ever had. The touch of her lips on my ear set my insides on fire. I thought I might break Jasmine as I squeezed her against me. The feelings I had for this broken girl crushed my chest and pushed me toward tears. We kissed, but all I wanted to do was hold Jasmine.

With a hand on each side of her face, I kissed Jasmine’s forehead and pushed her face into the crook of my neck. A tremor ran through me as I played Cindy’s words in my head, “Follow your heart.”

Jasmine’s hot tears hit my skin. I leaned back and watched them trickle down her cheeks. They were happy tears. I kissed below each eye and shared my salty lips with Jasmine. I turned her around in my arms. Jasmine’s breasts were warm on my forearms. She flipped her hair to one side and tilted her head forward. I kissed her ear, neck, and the top of her shoulder where a few of my tears landed. If I wasn’t careful I might crush the girl in my love.

Twenty minutes later, Jasmine and I were in the same position, except, we were on our sides under the covers. I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by the power of my feelings. Whatever they were, they were beyond sexual desire. Jasmine forced her head around until we made eye contact. We kissed, and she spoke softly into my open mouth. “Joe, make love to me.”

Jasmine rolled onto her back and adoringly looked up at me. I slipped between her inviting legs with my swelling flesh pressed between us. I felt at home. When I lifted up, Jasmine’s hand guided me into the heat at the center of her wet pussy. A billion pulses of pleasure raced up my dick as my flesh touched hers. A warm completeness settled in my heart as I pushed into her. Her beautiful eyes brightened. She bit her lower lip until my groin pressed against her crotch, then a satisfied smile settled on Jasmine’s face. She wrapped her legs around my ass and held me there. I laid still in the depths of her body, looking into the girl’s consuming eyes. At that moment, my every need seemed met.