Chapter 44

“Well, so is fornicating, burning for your neighbor’s wife and surely screwing your girlfriend’s sister. So, you better be careful. Judge not lest you be judged by the same measure.” Cindy’s one sentence summary of my evil laundry list ruffled my insides. I knew she was right, who was I to cast a stone? Really, who was I at all? What kind of a person am I? My thoughts were interrupted by what seemed like a sudden subject change.

“Joe, do you remember when I had a crush on you?” Cindy’s half full mouth shot a crooked smile my way.

“Yes, you used to kiss me all the time, and I would say, ‘I’m going to puke on your bed if you do that again.’ Then your mom told us it wasn’t right for blood relatives to be boyfriend and girlfriend.” It was funny that I had remembered my crush on Cindy, earlier, but I had forgotten it had gone both ways. The difference was, I wouldn’t ever admit it or show it, and she was always goo goo eyes over me. Although, I wasn’t sure why she brought it up.

We ate and strolled down memory lane until we both flopped back on the couch to watch TV.

When I woke up, my aunt and uncle were standing in front of me. “Look at you, just like old times.” A flash went off, and I rubbed the spots out of my eyes. Cindy was leaning against me doing the same thing. “That’s going to make a good one for the picture album.” My aunt smiled from the joy of seeing our rekindled friendship and having captured it for her picture collection. I imagined she had hundreds of pictures of us kids.

“Remember when she put that frog in your shorts?” Uncle Jim’s loud chuckle made me smile as I hit my cousin again for what she had done eight years ago.

My mother’s voice yelled from the kitchen, “Who wants turkey?” Cindy and I shared a loud groan.

We decided to go straight for dessert while everyone else ate leftovers for dinner. As we started out for the kitchen, Cindy took hold of my arm. She looked meaningfully into my eyes. “Joe, I missed you, too. Remember you can’t separate your head from your heart.” I could tell from Cindy’s intense look that her words came from her heart, and they had an intended purpose.

She continued, “What I mean is, you’ll never be happy doing what your head tells you. You have got to follow your heart, because eventually it’s going to win. You have to figure out who you love then do what’s right.” Cindy finished her counseling session by kissing me like she always did when we were kids.

I didn’t know if she had expected my nine year old self to show up and fight her off, but the kiss went unchallenged for a few seconds. When it finished, a blank stare sat on both of our faces. Not knowing how to break the uncomfortable moment, I hugged her. “Cindy, thanks for everything. Let’s eat pie.”

Cindy shoved me and took off ahead of me to avoid the weirdness of the moment. We ate and listened to the adults talk, but neither Cindy nor I spoke for a long time. When our eyes met I felt a special bond, yet there was something else I didn’t understand. I assumed it was knowing Cindy knew everything, and she was the only one who did.

After two hours, I began to wonder why I hadn’t heard from Susan. I looked three times, and I could see they were home from shopping. Cindy perceived my concern the forth time I looked out the window. “Just call her already.”

“Well, I guess I could after yesterday, but I’m worried about her mother. She might answer and assume I want Jasmine, then when I end up talking to Susan, she might put two and two together.” I sighed.

“Joe, be honest, you’re afraid to call.”

She was right. I couldn’t stop thinking about what we had seen from the attic and imagining the worst possible outcome. Susan’s dad had broken his promise in almost the worst way possible. He had a promise with Mrs. Davis, Susan and Jasmine. The only thing worse would be if he had done it with one of his daughters. What if they came home and caught Jesselyn and him? My greatest fear created a great conflict in me. I should be there for Susan if something bad happened, yet I don’t want to pick up the phone.

I practically flew across the room when the phone rang. “Hello.”

Five minutes later, Cindy laughed as I held the phone away from my ear. Susan was still rambling on about all the stuff she saw, got, and knew she’d get for Christmas. “So, how was your day alone, what did you do?” Susan finally asked.

“Well, other than thinking of fifty ways that I can hurt you without leaving marks, I didn’t do anything. By the way, you’re dead when I see you. That was not funny or nice telling Cindy to ask me about, well you know.” I glanced to see if anyone other than my very curious cousin was listening in on me. “No, I didn’t take her up there.” Cindy looked at me like she was going to start yelling liar liar pants on fire. “Hey, can you come over?”

“No, it was a miracle my mother let me yesterday. Today, she gave me the talk again after I asked her to buy me this great short skirt. Then, she reminded me that just because she let me be with your family for Thanksgiving, that it wasn’t a green light for us. Joe, I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think my mom had some dirt on you.”

My stomach twisted. Susan continued on telling me she didn’t believe her mother really did. Then she was talking to someone in the background, “Okay, okay, take it easy. Joe, you have to talk to Jasmine. Here.”