Chapter 29

Jasmine seemed more interested in Jesselyn than anyone else. The two beauty queens hugged like crazy and started talking up a storm. They were only half paying attention to the rest of the family. I was pretty sure given enough time, Jesselyn would break open her large suitcase and start showcasing her designer clothes.

When Mrs. Davis finally brought her incredibly sexy self out of the house, I noticed her larger-than-life breasts swinging in her blouse. It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like she totally snubbed Aunt Jane and hugged Jeremy. Sadly, the thought of Chris’s swollen chest pressed into his body made me jealous. I wished it was me receiving a warm, passionate hug. I shook off my stupid feelings and watched to see if Mrs. Davis was ever going to stop fussing over her nephew and act like she knew Jane was there.

The two women politely kissed, stepped back, and held each other’s hands at arm’s length. They each looked hard into the other’s eyes. The uncomfortable stare was finally broken by a soft smile from Mrs. Davis. It seemed like there was a collective exhale from everyone else. The two held hands as they walked towards the house while Mr. Davis and Jeremy lugged a massive pile of luggage behind them.

Later that night, I couldn’t resist the urge to speak to Susan. I nervously dialed the phone, not sure what I would do if she didn’t answer. Our relationship was still a secret at her house. At my house, only the kissing was a secret. “You know what kissing leads to.” My mom’s words still made me laugh.

“Hello.” Susan’s voice on the other end made me smile, and my nerves settled.

“Susan, me too.” I was by myself, so I could have just told her I loved her, but I spoke in code anyway.

“Joe, I was just thinking about you. I wanted to call you, but I know what your mother must think.” Susan was speaking over a lot of background noise.

“Well, I was thinking about you too. I don’t really have anything to say. I just felt like I needed to hear your voice.” I suddenly felt kind of stupid and needy. Maybe even left out or jealous? Certainly, confused about all my conflicting feelings.

“Are you having fun? Is everything alright?” I had something to say after all. I waited patiently as Susan moved to a quiet place. Finally, a door closed, and there was silence.

“Yes, and yes. I guess so?” Susan exhaled with a sigh. I waited.

“Joe, I’m just trying to sort through so many feelings. I love my family, but it’s so complicated with everyone here. I wish I had a normal life. Seeing Jeremy reminded me of what kind of person I am. None of my friends are like me. Well, except maybe Mary, but that’s another story.”

“Joe, can you understand why I’m confused and concerned about this weekend?”

“Yes, I can. I am too. Maybe I don’t have a full understanding of what you’re going through, but I’m confused and nervous.” I hadn’t expected to say that. I was frustrated not being able to be honest with the one person I was sure I loved. I probably loved Jasmine too, but not like Susan. The truth was, I wanted to be able to keep doing Jasmine, but only have one true love. This is a mess.

“Susan, please always tell me anything you need to. Whatever you need from me, just tell me. I love you.” I needed to shut up before I said too much.

“Joe.” Susan paused and sniffed. “Joe, that’s all I need. Just love me no matter what. I want to know we’ll always be best friends, and you’ll always love me. I need someone I can trust with anything who will still love me. I really needed to hear you say that tonight. It felt funny earlier when you didn’t say it back to me.” Susan sniffed more and took a breath.

“I feel much better now. Thank you for not judging me because of my messed up family and the things I do.” Susan and I talked a few more minutes before she had to get back to her family.

“Thanks, Joe. I’ll see you tomorrow.” After we both breathed into the phone in complete silence, I finally gave in and hung up first. Then, I stared blankly at the phone, wondering if she was still holding it to her ear.

I felt like a fraud because I couldn’t be honest with Susan, and she had trusted me with so many of her secrets.

The next day when the phone rang, I tried to get it before my mother, but she was right on it.

“Hello, oh really, an A, wow. I’m glad he did something for you other than kiss you. I know. Just a second. Have a nice Thanksgiving.” My mother turned towards the living room.

“Joe, it’s your other sweetheart.” She held out the phone with her judging look.

“My only.” I took the phone with a disgusted look. “Hello.”

Susan’s voice instantly made me smile, even though she was squeaking. “What did she mean, your other?”

“It’s a long story, but you heard what I said. I’ll tell you the rest later.” I sure didn’t want my mother to hear me explain how I pretended to like Jasmin, so I could see Susan. My mother thought I had a crush on Jasmin, and Susan’s mother thought I was Jasmine’s boyfriend. Well, I guess my mother at least had it straight. Does she? My hope was she’d never figure it all out.