Chapter 21

We laid side by side touching, but not talking for what seemed like a lifetime of silence. I placed my lips on top of Jasmine’s lips. Another Chemistry lesson started as our motionless lips signaled our hearts to beat faster. My two lips gripped Jasmine’s quivering bottom lip and pulled on it. I wet my lips and used them to wet Jasmine’s. There was a strange flutter in my belly as our lips and tongues tenderly worked. The flames of passion were completely removed, replaced by a tranquil connection to Jasmine.

I kissed the end of her nose and moved my face back a few inches. We both smiled a tiny peaceful smile. Jasmine’s face was a mess. Puffy eyes, smeared makeup, even snot, but still, a beautiful face stared back at me. I didn’t want to leave her like this, but I knew even after years of counseling, she was still going to need help. “I have to go home for dinner. I love you.” Damn it, did I just say that again?

I saw myself out the front door after kissing the almost motionless girl, one last time.

“Sorry it took me so long mom. I was talking to Jasmine.” I felt like I needed to take a tranquilizer and go lay down.

“What were you two love birds talking about?” My mother’s words might as well have been a sword, being shoved into my stomach.

“Mom, don’t say that, please! She was upset about some stupid boy thing, and I didn’t really know what to say. Mom, I wish I could understand girls.” Or even me for that matter. My mother easily perceived my anxiety, but she didn’t have a clue how deep I was in. She probably thought I was upset because Jasmine already had a boyfriend. I’m sure that would suck too, but, somehow, I don’t think it compares to pledging your love to the sister of the girl you really love. I do love Jasmine? I just can’t love her the same as Susan. Can I?

I laid in bed staring at the wall. I would have prayed, but I didn’t know how to approach God with this David and Bathsheba-sized problem.

The next day at school, I was like a walking zombie. I managed to move from class to class for the first three periods, but my brain wasn’t participating in any of it. Finally, after the third period, I saw Jasmine at my locker. She looked much better than I felt.

“Joe, I’m sorry about yesterday. I hope you don’t think I’m nuts.”

Well, actually I do, but I don’t think telling you will help. Why did I suddenly start to feel better? Jasmine’s presence was doing something magical to me. I seemed to awaken just being next to her. “Jasmine, I can’t hurt Susan. We can’t.” I wasn’t sure of anything else as I spoke, except that I never wanted to see Susan hurt.

“I know that. As much as we have acted like we hate each other, Susan is very important to me. Especially after we went to my aunt’s house. Did she tell you about that?” Jasmine’s face seemed to indicate she expected Susan had.

“No, what happened?” I knew some of it, but Susan left out huge details that she was still promising she would tell.

“Oh, let her tell you, that’ll be better if she tells you. At lunch, can you meet me and Stacy outside the lunchroom? We need to talk about our costumes.”

Those were life-changing words. I swallowed hard. “Oh, okay.” The bell sounded.

“Gotta go.” Jasmine turned and disappeared into the flow of students. I stood there wondering if she understood the magnitude of what might happen.

As I headed toward my next class, I started to smile wildly. Sex is great, but nobody would believe me even if I could tell them about it. So, it was meaningless to my freshman social status. However, me being outside the cafeteria with Jasmine Davis and Stacy Manchester, would change my life. Freshmen weren’t welcomed in the ranks of the outside eating area. The tables were limited and filled with upperclassmen. On top of that, I was going to be with two of the prettiest girls our school had to offer. This could change the course of my life, but what about Susan?

I rode home on the hot, stinky bus that day, just like everyone else. My life hadn’t launched into a different realm. I still wasn’t old enough to drive, got pimples, and didn’t get a ride home in one of the cool kids’ cars. I was still a freshman, but I didn’t care. I didn’t even really care if the world ended right now. As a matter of fact, if it ended right then, it would be perfect; I’d go out on top. I felt like the king of the world after sitting at a table with Jasmine and Stacy. We made plans for Halloween together. Jasmine touched my arm in front of Stacy. People were looking at me like I had magical powers.

Now, if I could use those powers and make my life split in two. One life with Susan and one with Jasmine. Maybe three? One with Stacy, Jasmine, and me, also? I stumbled at the top step and almost exited the bus on my face. My beloved classmates broke into cheers, reminding me of my actual life.

It only took a few minutes before my mother said, “You must have had a good day.”

I guessed taking the trash out without being asked must have been over the top. “It was good. Oh, I need some money for my Halloween costume. Remember, I’m taking those kids Trick Or Treating, with Jasmine and Stacy?”

My mother started to smile, but as if she remembered what happened yesterday, she curbed her excitement. “Okay, but you’re not spending a fortune on some horrible monster face like last year. And, don’t forget you have to help Susan with math. I still can’t believe you’re helping her grades. You never seem to be teaching her anything.”

Oh, mother, I thought, if you only knew. My mother’s words reminded me of my girlfriend dilemma. Was I really so superficial that a tiny boost to my social status had allowed me to forget my girlfriend, who I had cheated on yesterday?