Chapter 9: Love Notes

It’s Monday after the long holiday weekend and we’re back at school. Tiffany is at her locker before 2nd Period, she waves for me to come over. “Hey Kyle, how was your Thanksgiving?”

“It was great! We had a lot of relatives over, I ate too much, but it was all good. How was yours, other than not wanting to be at your aunt and uncle’s place?”

“Not bad, I just get so bored there.”

“Yeah, I can imagine. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too!” she smiles as the bell rings. “See you in Biology.”

“Wait, hang on,” I stop her before she leaves. Just prior to the Thanksgiving break, Mr. Franklin, our biology teacher, started the class working on a large assignment involving plants. Everything from seed germination, proper soils, fertilization, growth patterns, climate, light, osmosis, all that good stuff. Tiffany and I need to work on a project outline, start planting seeds and collect data. “Would you like to get started on our plant project after school?” I ask her.

“Sure, any day but today, I’m hanging out with Bethany.”

“I work on Tuesday, how about Wednesday?”

“Sure! Wanna come over to my place?”

“Okay.”

That night as I lie down to go to sleep, I’m thinking about the recent sexual activity I’ve enjoyed with two different girls. On one hand, I admit to feeling a little bit guilty about what I did with Renee last weekend, things turned out to be more than just a few useful pointers on oral sex; but on the other hand, should I be feeling guilty? Tiffany and I haven’t actually committed to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship - yet, anyway. I really do believe in being a one-girl guy, but I also need to see where this goes. One thing I know is that nothing is certain, especially with Tiffany.

After dinner on Wednesday, I take a shower, grab my jacket and backpack, and ride my bike over to Tiffany’s house. I’d be lying if I told you that I wasn’t thinking about the slight possibility of a little more than just homework happening today, hence my after-dinner shower. On the way, I realize I should probably pick up some condoms just in case things do progress in that direction. It dawns on me that I’ve never actually bought condoms before; with Renee being on the pill, I never needed to worry about it.

There’s a Rite Aid pharmacy on the way that should have what I need. I’m hoping there won’t be too many customers in the store. I’m mainly worried about people I know or, worse yet, acquaintances that know my parents seeing me make such a purchase. Good, the parking lot is empty except for a couple of cars, probably just the employees.

I walk in and it’s quiet. There are a couple of people at the cash register, but they should be gone soon enough. I find no one as I look up and down the aisles, it seems I’m the only other customer here - great! Let’s make this quick and get out of here, I tell myself. For a guy, buying your first condoms sure ranks up there among life’s more awkward moments.

Alright, where are they? I’m hunting aisle by aisle, searching high and low. Finally, I find them by the pharmacy counter at the back of the store. Mr. Henshel, an elderly pharmacist, is in the back working on filling some prescriptions. At least the condoms aren’t behind the counter requiring me to ask for them.

Okay, they have ribbed, lubricated, smooth, bare skin (bare skin?), real feel, prolonged performance, ultra-thin - oh great, so many choices! How the hell am I supposed to know what she likes best? I’ll just grab a box of each so I can’t go wrong.

It’ll sure look weird if I walk up to the cashier and drop this collection of condoms on the counter and nothing else; I’d better get some other things too. A couple of bottles of pop, a couple of bags of chips, and maybe some candy bars. With all these goodies, the cashier won’t even notice the variety of contraceptives I’ve cleverly hidden in the mix - I’ve got this.

With my arms loaded and overflowing, I walk around the end of the aisle and stop dead. Justin Blaine, one of the asshole jocks from school, is working here as the cashier. Justin is bad enough, but the customers hanging out at the counter with him are Dirk Larch and Jodie Marks, a stuck-up cheerleader wearing too much make-up and snapping her gum. Oh god, what now?

I got it; I’ll just have Mr. Henshel ring me up at the prescription counter in the back of the store. Hearing me plop my goods down, Mr. Henshel walks over. “Oh, I’m sorry, son, I can’t ring you up here, my cash register is broken. You’ll need to take all that up front.”

Well, ain’t this some fucked-up shit! I shout in my head. I scoop everything up and start to slowly walk back towards the front - I need to think. I hate to bail on this because there’s no other place along the way to Tiffany’s where I can buy condoms, and I’m already running late. Maybe those jocks will be cool with it; after all, they must buy condoms all the time. Maybe they’ll even have a tiny bit of respect seeing that I’ve now joined their ranks in the getting-laid department. Alright then, here goes nothing.

Justin sees me approaching and nods for Dirk and Jodie to step aside. They both look in my direction, I can tell Dirk recognizes me from school as he whispers something to Jodie. Jodie nods, saying, “Kyle ... Stevens ... or Stevenson ... something like that ... in my American History class...” I saunter up acting as if I’ve never seen these people before in my life, and put my items on the counter. The pop, chips and candy didn’t quite cleverly disguise all the condom boxes as well as I was hoping.

Jodie is the first; she covers her mouth and starts giggling. Under her breath, I hear her say, “Oh my god! You’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?” I look up, all around, and act like that comment wasn’t directed at me in any way. Nope. Not at me.

Justin cracks a smile as he starts ringing up the goods. When he gets to the collection of condom boxes, he can’t control it any longer. He laughs and blurts out, “Whoa! So, where’s the Skanky Hookers Showing Pity on Geeks Party this year?”

Now it’s Dirk’s turn, he snorts and asks, “Dude, you do know that you can’t get your hand pregnant, don’t you?”

I feel my face getting warm; it’s as if every eye in this whole damn town is staring directly at me. All I can do is mutter, “They aren’t ... for my hand.”

Ever so clever Dirk offers even further middle-school-mentality enlightenment. “Oh, I see ... Well, you do know that your boyfriend won’t get pregnant when you stick it up his ass, don’t you?” Jodie and Justin both burst out laughing. Dirk continues, “Or, is it the other way around? It’s your boyfriend who’s gonna stick it up your ass, is that it?” I feel my face burning up, I just want to knock this asshole’s head off so fucking bad.

A wittier version of me may have fired something back along the lines of, you sure seem to know all about it, Dirk. If this is your weird way of asking, sorry, I’m not into that. But, hey, whatever makes you happy. Hang in there, I’m sure a guy like you will find a nice butt-buddy soon. I’d probably get my face smashed, but it would’ve been totally worth it.

In the end, I settle for muttering a semi-loud, “Fuck this!” and storm out of the store empty-handed. All three of them are cackling with laughter as I leave. Goddamned fuckin’ assholes!

If Tiffany wants to have any fun today, I guess it won’t involve me putting it in her pussy. Unless she has condoms - there is hope yet.

I arrive and Mrs. Hammond lets me in. “Hi Kyle, come in. Let me get Tiffany for you.”

From behind, Tiffany appears halfway down the stairs. “I’m here, Mom. Come on up, Kyle.” She motions for me to follow.

Once inside Tiffany’s room, she closes the door and I sit on the end of the bed. She hops up on the other end and sits Indian-style. Her schoolbooks are spread out between us, and I add mine to the mix. She’s just sitting there staring at me with a little smile on her face. I look at her, then at all the books, and back at her and say, “Well, I guess we should figure out where to start, huh?”

She says nothing but keeps looking at me. Finally, patting the bed next to her, she says, “Kyle, come sit here, I think we need to talk.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

With a deep breath, she explains, “One thing with being all bored at my aunt and uncle’s this last weekend is it gave me a lot of time to think.”

“Oh?” I can’t help but think uh-oh here comes the I’ve thought about it and I only like you as a friend speech.

“I thought about a lot of different things I’ve done ... and what might be a better approach for me ... stuff like that.” Tiffany pauses and I give a nod assuring her that I’m listening. She continues, “I thought a lot about you ... and me ... Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How do you feel about what happened last week? When I was at your house ... in your bedroom?”

I need to take a moment before answering. I don’t think blurting out, I loved it! Let’s do it again right now! is what she’s looking for, so I say, “It was really nice. I certainly wasn’t expecting it, but, yeah, it was great.”

“Yeah, it was,” she smiles. “But, as I’m sure you know better than anyone, I’ve had a lot of fucked up relationships these last few years.” Yup, here it comes, she’s going to tell me how she’s not ready for another relationship right now. “With that group, it’s not about dating and building relationships, it’s all about getting laid, taking turns getting laid, and everybody doing each other.”

“Great bunch, huh?”

“No kidding,” she agrees. “I’ve been trying to figure it out ... figure out why I dated those stupid jocks. I honestly don’t have an answer ... I know I liked the attention ... I liked how I could reinvent myself and finally be one of the cool people ... like my big sister always was. But in doing that, I lost something, I lost the one guy that knows me better than anyone, the one guy that-” Tiffany stops, looks down, and wipes a tear from her cheek.

I put my arm around her and whisper, “Tiffany ... it’s okay.”

“Please, give me a sec ... I need to say this.”

I’ll give her all the time she needs.

“Kyle, there’s no bullshitting you, you’re the real deal ... and that kinda scares me. Deep down, I think I’ll never be good enough for you and that you deserve far better than me. The truth is, I’ve always been attracted to you; you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re cute. That little girl crush of mine never went away...” She offers a shaky smile. “I’m sorry for getting all emotional; this is way harder than I thought it would be.”

I gently rub her shoulder as an assurance to take all the time she needs.

With some deep breaths, she composes herself. “When I was down, run ragged by Dirk and all those people, you were always there for me. You’re kind of like my ... rock. You have a way of bringing me back down to reality, but all in a good way, in ways I need. Do you know what I mean?”

I take her hand and squeeze it tight. “Never, never, think you’re not good enough for me.”

She looks down at her lap, at our clasped hands, and says, “I thought about what I did with you last week and, don’t get me wrong, I really liked it too, but I don’t want things between us to be based on sex and sex only. That’s how it is with that group, it’s expected, and I want to get far away from that. Kyle, I really like you and I want everything between us to be on our terms and nobody else’s.”

“We can just take each day as it comes and see where it goes.”

She leans close and tells me, “It’s not that I don’t want to do sex stuff with you, I just want it to be when we’re ready and it’s right.”

So, I guess I’m not being relegated to the friends-only zone after all. Relieved, I say, “I’m totally fine with that.”

With a hug, she whispers, “Thank you.”

I look past her shoulder towards the dresser and see something. It’s the birthday card I gave her propped up in the corner, and it’s the only birthday card on her dresser. She notices me looking at it. “I’ve read that ... many times.”

“I thought it may have been too sappy when I gave it to you.”

“It’s perfect!” She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “What do you say we crack these books?”

“Yeah, but I do have a tiny confession to make.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“On the way over here, I stopped at Rite Aid to get some ... condoms ... in case, you know ... you wanted to...”

She laughs, “I guess that’s partly my fault for the way I came on to you. So, what kind did you get?”

“I didn’t, I chickened out.” I’m feeling really good right now and would rather skip that whole ugly scene with Dirk, Justin, and Jodie.

“You chickened out?”

“Yeah...”

Leaning close, Tiffany whispers, “I’m on the pill. My parents don’t know, but my sister Bev hooks me up.” I like this revelation! The simple words I’m on the pill just might be my favorite words ever. She notices my face brighten and playfully jabs her finger into my chest. “Now don’t you be getting all excited, we have homework to do today.”

We spend the next couple of hours going over our project and creating an outline of everything we’ll need to do. When we’ve had enough looking at the books and papers, we clean things up.

I can’t think of a better time to ask something that I’ve been wanting to ask for a long time, to ask Tiffany out on a real date. “Do ... do you maybe want to go to a movie ... or something, on Friday?”

“Okay, yeah, that’ll be fun.”

After stuffing my books in my backpack, I put on my coat. She reaches for my collar, pulls me in, and kisses me full on the lips. On my way home, I can’t help but smile; this is the right way with Tiffany.

The next day at school, the first thing I do is select everything I’ll need for the next three classes from my locker before 1st Period.

After 3rd Period, I return to my locker to drop things off before lunch. As I get closer, I see a crowd has gathered along with some commotion and plenty of laughing going on. What’s up? Parting through the throng, I see dozens of condom packages of all sorts and varieties taped to, and completely covering, a locker door – my locker door! In the middle there’s a bright yellow sticky note, I grab it and read - You forgot these, but we hope you still had a good time, loser!

In a frenzy, I pull all the condoms down and stuff them into my pockets till they’re overflowing. People have already been taking pictures with their phones and continue to do so; thanks to social media, this will be all around the school in 2-minutes or less. I now understand exactly what Dad means when he talks about how glad he is that he grew up in the 80s, long before everyone carried devices to record every stupid little thing.

Talk about embarrassing! I know it was Dirk, Justin, or Jodie, probably all three. I didn’t look at the crowd long enough to see if they were there, but I’m sure they were, they wouldn’t want to miss that show. Wanting to just shrink away and disappear, I skipped lunch to hide out in the library.

In Biology, Tiffany shows me a picture that she was texted of me removing the colorful prophylactic display from my locker door. “What’s this all about?”

“That’s the reason I chickened out yesterday. Justin works at Rite Aid as a cashier and Dirk and Jodie were there too.”

“How did they know what you wanted to buy?”

“Well ... I kinda took them up to the counter hoping they wouldn’t notice, but they razzed me, so I left.”

“Come on, Kyle, what the fuck? You had to know those assholes would have a field day with you trying to buy condoms. What were you thinking? Oh wait, let me guess,” she smirks, “you were thinking with your little head, right?”

“Well...” I have no answer and here comes that hot, red face of embarrassment again. Hindsight’s 20/20 sure has a way of pointing out one’s personal stupidity. Tiffany sighs and shakes her head.

On Friday evening I borrow my mom’s car and pick up Tiffany to go out to the movies, my first real date with her. We see a horror movie held over from the Halloween season. Tiffany loves horror flicks, it creeped the hell out of me, but we had a good time.

Afterward, we’re both hungry and not ready to go home yet so we decide to go to Pizza Depot. It’s cool having my coworkers see me come in with a girl instead of my usual guy friends. Benny jokes, “Hey look at this! He really does like girls after all.” I shoot him a quick, but a lighthearted middle finger in return.

Being this place is a popular hang-out, it’s not uncommon to see other people we know. Tonight, our luck gives us Dirk, Blake, Justin, and other assorted jockstraps from school. I know they’re taking note of Tiffany and me together. I’m not sure if Tiffany is noticing, but if she is, she’s showing no sign of it. I do my best to ignore them, we eat our pizza, play some arcade games, and have a fun night.

Around 11:30, we leave to go home. As we’re walking out to the car, I hear the door we just exited violently fling open. Here comes Dirk and Justin following us into the parking lot. “Well, would you look at this,” Dirk sneers. “A cock-sucker and an ass-fucker out on a date. How cute!”

I stop dead and turn around. “What did you just say?”

Tiffany grabs my arm. “Let’s just get out of here, Kyle, they aren’t worth it.”

“So,” Dirk continues, “this is the whore you were buying the rubbers for the other day, huh faggot?”

Oh, that’s crossing the line. I feel an instant hot rage under my collar, I am so sick of this asshole, I’m ready to go at it right here and right now. I yank my arm free from Tiffany and take a few steps in his direction. Grabbing the back of my jacket, she pulls me back. “Kyle, stop! Let it go! Let’s just leave - NOW!”

As much as I want to pound on this ass-wipe, and I don’t care if I get myself pounded in the process, a small part of my raging brain tells me not in front of Tiffany. I flip them off with both fingers as we get in the car.

As we’re leaving the parking lot, Dirk is shouting obscenities. In the rear-view mirror, I see him bend down and pick something up, probably a stone, and whip it towards us. Not hearing anything hit the car, he must have missed. At least I won’t have to explain any dings in Mom’s car.

Driving home, I’m absolutely fuming. “God damn that fuckin’ asshole!” I pound the steering wheel. “You would think that what we did to him would have taught him a fuckin’ lesson!”

“You would think, but assholes like that will always be just that, assholes.”

For the rest of the way back to Tiffany’s house, I don’t say anything, I am so pissed. Pulling into her driveway, I slam the gear-shifter into park. She looks at me and says, “I know you’re pissed, I’m pissed too, but you did the right thing. Listen, making you mad and getting you to do something stupid is exactly what he wanted. Don’t play his game, okay?”

I take some deep breaths and eventually calm down. “I know ... you’re right, but he shouldn’t be able to get away with shit like that.”

“I know, Kyle, trust me, I do, but you have to let it go. Dirk and those guys aren’t worth getting bent out of shape over. Please ... tell me you’ll drop it.”

It takes a little while for my blood pressure to come down. “Okay,” I sigh, “I will...” I sure as hell don’t want to, but she’s thinking with a cooler head and probably right.

“We had a great time tonight, I enjoyed being with you, let’s not let this stupid shit ruin it. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Before stepping out of the car to go inside, she leans close so we can share a nice kiss.

I know Tiffany wants me to drop it, to let it go, and not dwell on what happened in the parking lot at Pizza Depot last Friday night, but here I am, several days later and it’s still bugging the ever-living shit of me. It’s not just that night, it’s everything about Dirk, the way he treated Tiffany, the way he shoves people around at school, I can’t get him out of my head. Through all of this pent-up anger, I do find calming humor in recalling how that great big arrogant jackass had his tongue swirling around in my cum – cum that came from my balls and shot out of my penis. Hey fuck-head, I hope the taste lingered for a long time.

My thoughts shift to those condoms and the note taped on my locker; a tiny thought lightbulb pops on in my head as I get an idea. Since he’s so fond of notes on locker doors, maybe I should leave him a note. I can throw a little anonymous shit back at him and see how he likes it. Tiffany doesn’t need to know and I’m sure it’ll make me feel, at least, a little better. I need to think of something that’ll really piss him off, maybe something about how he had (my) cum in his mouth. I grab a piece of paper and write in big capital letters: