Chapter 1: Discovering Dad

1979 was the year that so much changed for me. It was the year I left school with very poor CSE results. It was the year I lost my virginity. It was the year my parents split up. It was the year I discovered I was bisexual. It was the year I found out that taboo turned me on.

I remember the night that Mum told me she was leaving Dad and moving in with a colleague from work, Derek, on the other side of Bournemouth. I was stunned. My parents didn’t fight, hardly argued, and, judging by the noises I heard from their bedroom next to mine, had a healthy sex life. Mum said she’d always love my dad, but that she wanted more from life, and Derek would give her that. She asked me if I wanted to live with her or Dad. I was so angry, hurt, and upset that I knew I wanted to stay with Dad. Mum said she understood, but that I’d always have a room in her new home when I wanted to stay over.

The next few months weren’t simple. Dad was like a zombie and was really suffering. He went on a few dates, but nothing came of them. Finding a job for me at that time with my lack of qualifications wasn’t easy, but eventually, I got a job washing and polishing cars for a second-hand car dealer near home. That was the point at which things started to get better. Dad went on a date with a woman who told him that he was so bloody miserable and to stop feeling sorry for himself before trying to start with someone new. Dad tried to argue that wasn’t the case, but he realised she was right. Over the next few weeks, he became a new man. He started swimming several times a week; he booked a holiday for the two of us in France; and he rented a new colour TV and videocassette recorder from Radio Rentals in town.

This period was the era of under-the-counter knock-off cheap copies of mainstream films as well as, for the first time in people’s homes, an incredible variety of porn. There were several small video rental shops nearby, and we often chose a film for a few nights, knowing which shops had tapes for “special customers” that included Scandinavian, German, or US porn. Then there were the tapes that were passed around among friends in pubs and factories.

So Dad and I watched a lot together. The first porn film I remember seeing was German and had lots of anal sex in it. Who knew? I remember getting hard and looking over at Dad on the opposite sofa with his trousers undone. I was almost as mesmerised by that sight as I was by some German actress with a guy’s cock in her ass! There wasn’t much of a story, but there was plenty of action nonetheless. After the film finished, Dad did up his trousers and got a beer.