Chapter 2: The demon of the bowels

Title: The demon of the bowels

Eternal day, eternal night. What makes the cycle something perpetual? Why can’t I find happiness in the natural? What makes natural something that doesn’t add to my pleasure? What steps should I take to find my true self?

Whispers “Blame the little stars that torment you”

How?

Whispers “Aren’t you the protagonist of your life? Blame the world for not adding anything to you.”

How can I be the protagonist of my life, if my actions are guided by something that I have no direct control over? The world not adding anything, is a mere phenomenon of my physical and mental needs not being met.

BUT, there is always a catch. My illusions, my desires, are not guided by completely tangible reasons. They can be predictable, but never completely self-aware. A man may understand that he has failed, but he may refuse to understand how he failed.

Whispers “Even the being with the greatest self-control under him will collapse under the most exacting conditions. I ask you; How would you feel if everything that was most enjoyable was taken away from your life? And you were subjected only to the purest pain?”

You ask clearly relative questions. What can bring me pure pain? Perhaps something that I imagine in a terrible or wrong way will destroy my mind and nerves. But what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, right?

Even the most incapable of the living is able to find a way out, regardless of the thorns. But it is necessary to separate imagination from reality. Many are able to find fault with others and their works; but they hardly see anything wrong in themselves.

Whispers “Hypocrisy is the weapon of the weak to console themselves in this world, as living beings are made of flesh, blood and feelings, it is natural for them to follow their desires. If he doesn’t find them as he would like, he will hide his weaknesses by exposing those of others; Do you begin to understand why this world doesn’t add anything?”

Let’s say you’re right. But how universal is what you say? If a man falls once, what would make it impossible for him to get up? Now, dealing with situations that are contrary to imagination is the primal sense that keeps a being alive. As the world does not easily add to the primal senses, it is the being that must look for something that adds to him in the world.

Wouldn’t it be the greatest hypocrisy, precisely, to expect everything to come as if they were meant specifically for him? There is always a limit to what you can gain just by waiting. A man cannot always be a man if he expects that he will always be the same man. The longevity of things is decided by how much he decides to give up some activities, and then dedicate himself to others.

Now, demon, your time is up. You are the star that shines brightest in my consciousness, but how much you disturb me is also decided by my own preferences; both conscious and unconscious. I don’t want you to cease to exist; but that you cease your activities when you have fulfilled your purposes. Goodbye.