Chapter 16

“For family occsions ... no ... for government or formal parties ... yes.”

Jackie said, “What makes you think we’re going to be attending formal parties?”

I said, “Or government functions?”

George said, “David, Jackie ... please ... consider your mother.”

So ... there is this little place ... not in a Mall ... and not ‘downtown’ where one needs to ‘know’ someone ... or their brother ... to get in the door. It looks like a 1920’s era house with a detached garage, and in the garage ... a few of Santa’s elves, having been replaced by robots, carpenter shoes. I use the term ‘Carpenter’ because there is a fella who transforms numbers into ‘lasts’ made of wood, one right and one left. Feet are not identical.

When he slips those ‘lasts’ into a box labled with the owner of the feet that modeled the ‘lasts’, places that box in an elevator and pushes a button ... noise and vibration disturbs the local night crawlers from their appointed rounds. Unless one has another destination ... a smart ‘one’ gathers some of those night crawlers and goes fishing ... because there is a waiting period.

Some small part of a national navigable river system is behind the house.

If it is possible for fish to enjoy pitting their strength against the hook and line of an angler ... knowing that they shall be released after suitable photos have been taken ... this is that place. As soon as the vibration of the machinery begins underwater cameras have recorded the fish lining up to take the ‘ride of the river.’ It is as if they know this is catch and release.

The shoes cobbled in this house ... FIT...!

One does not have to be a ‘fella’ to enjoy the product of the ‘lasts’. Hollywood comes to this address for custom American Made shoes that fit and wear practically for ever.

Heirloom shoes.

They have been mentioned in millionaire wills.

Jackie fished too. What is it about women that male fish fight over who is going to have their photograph taken with a female of the human species? A great many of those pictures feature a fishy tail slipped between busty bosoms.

Jacqueline, my sister, is noted for bountious bosoms ... indeed, as cmsix has so aptly stated ... she has “titties for days. The fish she caught was a doozy. Half the tail fin dipped deep and the top half covered her face. WE have photographic proof.

Jackie needed my help hoisting that monster.

The sigh made when Jackie stood wearing her first pair of shoes had the neighborhood heading for storm shelters.

“Oh, George ... thank you. I had no idea.”

“Comfy?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been wearing their boots for years.”

The head elf thanked us for our custom, “The rest shall be shipped to your address as they are finished.”

Jackie grinned ... one pair of shoes are never enough. One hundred pair are getting there.

Herein lies the problem ... Jackie and mother have identical feet.