Chapter 1

“Don’t just suck on it like a baby, Tammy. Use your tongue. Wet the filter, pull the smoke deep into your chest, and let it linger before you blow it out slow, like you’re sighing in a man’s ear.”

My hands were shaking so hard the lighter kept clicking without catching. My stomach was a knot of cold dread and a weird, pulsing heat I didn’t understand. My mother Beth looked at me, really looked at me, with those hard eyes. She didn’t care that we had nothing left but the clothes on our backs and a suitcase in the trunk that she was taking with her. She just wanted me to look like something a man would want to buy. I took the cigarette, leaned back, and tried to mimic her. I felt the nicotine hit my brain, making my head spin, while the thought of being left alone made my skin prickle.

The car smelled like a stale lounge. Mom pulled up to the curb in front of a bar, shifted into park, and looked at me without a shred of pity. “You’re a virgin, which is the only thing you’ve got going for you. Find a man, get pregnant, and marry him. That’s the only way you’ll survive.” Then she was gone, the tires screeching, leaving me standing in the gravel with nothing but a cheap dress and a hunger that felt like a physical wound.

I stood there for a minute, my legs trembling. I looked at the neon sign of the bar flickering in the dim light of the Midwest afternoon. I was terrified. The thought of a man touching me made me want to bolt, but the thought of starving in the street made me want to scream. I smoothed my dress over my hips, feeling the dampness between my legs, and walked inside.

The air was thick with blue smoke and the smell of spilled beer. It was loud, crowded with men in flannel and grease-stained caps. I felt like a rabbit in a den of wolves. I spotted a man leaning against the jukebox, he had a sharp jaw and eyes that looked like they’d seen everything and liked none of it. I walked straight up to him. My heart was hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird. Without saying a word, I reached out and plucked a cigarette from the open pack on the bar next to him. My fingers brushed his skin and a jolt of electricity shot up my arm, making my breath hitch.

I lit the cigarette, took a long slow drag, and blew the smoke directly into his face.

I tried to be sexy, ordering, “Buy me a drink.” I was shaking so hard I thought I might actually vomit right there on his boots. My stomach was churning, a mix of pure, raw terror and this heavy, throbbing heat between my legs that made me want to squeeze my thighs together until it hurt. I didn’t know this man. I didn’t know any man. The thought of someone actually touching me, the actual act of it, made me want to run back to the car and scream for Beth to come back. But the gravel was cold, the street was empty, and I had zero dollars in my pocket. I had to do it. I had to get him to want me so bad he’d put a ring on my finger or a baby in my belly.

He didn’t move for a second. He just looked at me, his eyes scanning my face, then dropping down to my chest, then lower. I felt exposed, like I was naked even though the dress covered everything. My skin felt too tight for my body. Suddenly, he smiled, and it wasn’t a nice smile; it was the kind of smile a cat gives a mouse right before the bite.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, little bird,” he said. His voice was like gravel rubbing together.

“I’m thirsty,” I said, leaning in. I tried to remember the way Beth looked when she wanted something. I pushed my chest forward, just a little, feeling my nipples harden against the thin fabric. The smell of him, stale tobacco, old leather, and something sharp like pepper, hit me, and I felt a sudden, sharp spike of arousal that made my head swim.

He reached out and gripped my waist, his fingers digging into my skin. I gasped, jumping slightly, but I didn’t pull away. The contact felt like a brand. He pulled me closer, his breath hot against my cheek.

“Name’s Leo,” he muttered. “And you’re shaking like a leaf. You scared, or just excited to be here?”

“Both,” I whispered, the truth slipping out before I could stop it.

Leo chuckled, a low sound that vibrated in his chest. He didn’t let go of my waist; instead, his thumb started to rub circles into the small of my back, right where the dress dipped low. I felt a surge of heat bloom in my gut, a desperate, hungry need to be taken care of, even if the price was something that terrified me.

“Let’s get you that drink,” Leo said, guiding me toward the bar. “And then you’re gonna tell me exactly what a girl like you is doing in a place like this.”

As we sat in a dark booth in the corner, the air around us thick with smoke and alcohol, Leo didn’t stop touching me. He played with the hem of my dress, his rough fingertips grazing the top of my thigh. Every touch felt like a bolt of electricity. I was terrified of what came next, but as I looked at him, at the strength in his arms and the predatory look in his eyes, I knew I couldn’t let him walk away.

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” I admitted, my voice trembling.

Leo leaned in, his face inches from mine. “Is that so? Well, I’ve got a place. And I’ve got a feeling you’re exactly the kind of trouble I’ve been looking for.”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He crashed his lips against mine, tasting of whiskey and nicotine. It was rough, unpolished, and completely overwhelming. I felt my body give in, my legs parting instinctively as he pressed me back onto a stool. The fear was still there, but it was being drowned out by a pulsing, insistent demand from my body. I reached up, my fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, desperate to secure the only future I had left.

“God, you’re sexy for such a little thing,” he groaned against my mouth, his hand sliding up my thigh, bunching the fabric of my dress.

I gasped, a sharp, jagged sound. I had never been touched that way. The friction of his palm against my skin made me shiver, and a wet heat flooded my center. I wanted to scream, to run out the door and find Beth, but the thought of starving on the empty street was worse than the feeling of his fingers grazing the edge of my panties. I arched my back, pressing myself into him, my heart hammering so hard I thought it might actually burst through my ribs.

He pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes. He saw the panic and the hunger fighting in me. “Follow me to my truck.”

The air outside was thick and heavy, sticking to my skin like a wet sheet. He shoved me into the passenger seat of a rusted Chevy, the vinyl sticking to the back of my legs. Before I could even catch my breath, he was on me, his body a wall of heat and rough denim. He kissed me again, harder this time, his tongue pushing into my mouth like he owned it. I felt small, so small, and terrified that I was going to break, but my body was doing something else. It was humming. It was screaming for him to not stop.

His hand didn’t stay on my thigh. He shoved it up under my dress, his palm slamming against my panties. I let out a choked sound, half-sob and half-moan, and arched my hips into his hand. He started grinding his thumb against me, hard and rhythmic, and I felt a surge of wetness that made me gasp. I reached for him, my fingers clutching his shoulders, feeling the muscle there. I wanted him to take me, but the thought of him actually inside me made my stomach flip with a raw, sharp fear. I just needed him to want me. I needed him to not leave me here.

“You’re so wet, Tammy,” he groaned, his voice vibrating against my neck. “God, you’re just dripping.”

He shifted, his hand moving to the button of his jeans. He popped it open with a metallic click that sounded like a gunshot in the quiet of the truck. He didn’t take them off, just pushed the denim down far enough.

“Do it,” he commanded, his voice low and demanding. “Use that mouth.”

I froze. I’d never even seen one up close, let alone ... I looked at him, then looked down. His was thick and pulsing, smelling of stale sweat. My heart was hammering against my ribs, and for a second, I wanted to jump out of the truck and run until my lungs burned. But then I thought of the empty street. I thought of Beth’s cold eyes.

I leaned forward, my hair falling over my face like a curtain. I touched him first, my fingertips grazing the heat of him, and I shivered. Then, I opened my mouth and took him in.

He tasted like salt and musk. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I just remembered how Beth told me to smoke, slow, deep, letting it linger. I wrapped my lips around him, feeling the velvet skin and the hardness beneath. I sucked, my tongue swirling around the head of him, and Leo let out a loud, jagged groan that filled the cabin.

“Yeah! Suck it, girl,” he hissed, his fingers tangling in my hair and pushing my head down further.

I felt a strange power in it. The fear was still there, but it was mixing with the heat, turning into something hungry. I used my hand to grip the base of him, feeling the vein pulse against my palm, and sucked harder, listening to the sound of his breathing get shorter and faster. I wanted him to need me. I wanted him to be so addicted that he’d never let me go.