Chapter 39: The Peter Principle

The dispute between Abel and Carolina turned out to be easily resolved. When she had a date with Peter, Diego and Danilo would be packed off for an overnight with Tim Bailey. Just being in a different home seemed to limit their behavior enough that they remained welcome guests at the Bailey house. Also, they were two new playmates for Nia, being around the same age as her and her brother Tim.

After a couple months, Carolina approached her son with a question.

“Abel, I’m starting to have strong feelings about Peter. I want to ask you, would you be willing to meet him?”

“Tell me, does he treat you well? Is he kind, or is he kind of mean?”

“Oh, he’s never been mean to me. I have seen him explode, though, when a drunk driver backed into his car and crushed the radiator. The guy was so drunk that when he got out of his car he vomited on Peter’s shoes and suit pants.”

“I think that would be justifiable homicide. So, if you feel secure with him, I’ll be fine meeting him. He can take us to lunch on Saturday, OK?”

The lunch was a big success, and Abel was reassured that Peter would be a positive force in their lives. Another point in his favor: he had a son, Jared, only a year older than Abel, who he clearly doted on.

“My son has been partly raised by my ex-wife, Lorelei, and her wife, Sandra, since we divorced eight years ago. We have joint custody and Jared goes back and forth freely between our homes.”

“Let me guess,” interjected Carolina. “Where he goes depends on who has the most food in their fridge.”

“Mom!”

“The scary thing is, she’s right. The kid eats like 8,000 calories a day but doesn’t gain weight. It’s a medical miracle!”

“Speaking of mouths to feed, has my mother explained how many children she’s raising besides me?”

“You mean, you plus Fernanda plus Diego plus Danilo? I guess. That doesn’t faze me. The twins aren’t yet in high school, but the rest of you will be off to college fairly soon. And, you and Nan have plenty of college funds, I understand.

“But, leaving that to the side, I have lots of money. I am a corporate lawyer, and my annual salary is over 200. Um, 200 thousand, that is.”

“Is that yen or dollars?”

“Dollars. It was wise of you to ask, though, because 200 thousand Japanese yen is only about 13 hundred US dollars, if I remember the conversion correctly. And Sandra is a doctor, so I don’t have to pay support to Lorelei.”

“So, you’re giving me all the right answers, showing that you are a good match for my mom. So, one more question. Did your first wife turn to lesbianism because you are lousy in bed?”

“WHAT?” screeched Carolina.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Sorry, mom. Sorry, Peter. Obviously, that’s not how orientation works, I know. What I just confirmed is that Peter isn’t going to choke the life out of me for suggesting something that is very wrong.

“It’s not for me to say, of course, but I hereby give my permission to you, Peter, to marry Carolina. You may kiss the bride.”

And that’s what he did.