Chapter 10: Saturday Morning

Rays from the rising sun streamed into the master bedroom. It was the first of April and about half past six. Leah had forgotten to close the curtains, so the light was hitting directly into her face. As she was slowly waking, she instinctively turned her face away from the glare.

Drew was awake, but he took no notice of her movement. He was preoccupied at the time.

“Uh, why is the bed shaking, uh, rocking? What? Is he? Oh! He’s jerking off! Wait, let me think. Yeah, that must be it. I was wondering. I thought, the shower? Maybe not.”

He had no idea, no longer was he completely private. He had tried to find opportunities, but he just didn’t have a lot of time to be alone. In past years, he just waited until his brothers were asleep. They were like logs. A couple of times, he was aware of Ted going at it just a few feet away. He decided to ignore it, out of politeness and embarrassment. It was the right thing to do.

A few times, he had been jacking in the shower and been scowled at afterwards. He wasn’t sure what caused her irritation. Too much time? These were thoughts for another day. He was getting close. Closer. Closer. Finally!

Her eyes still shut, Leah was completely certain of his orgasm. He was rigid, shoulders to toes. His breathing stopped, and then resumed. He was just catching his breath when Leah, with a devilish little smile on her lips, spoke to his back.

“Have fun?”

Andrew shrieked and jerked so hard that he almost fell out of the bed.

“Leah!” he hissed. He didn’t know what else to say, he was so profoundly embarrassed, and shocked.

“Calm down, Drew. It’s OK. Really. I expected this to happen.”

“What?” he squeaked.

“Andrew John Bailey, you have a penis. A dick. A cock. It’s no secret: every last human cock on this planet gets played with, at the very least by his owner. If you’re lucky, somebody else plays with it too. It’s fun!”

“What?”

“I’m not using very big words, brother. Keep up. We need to talk about this. For one thing, you need to stop whacking your willy in the shower.”

“What?”

“Three things. First, you hog the bathroom, and I have to wait around when I just need to pee. If you’re going to jerk off in the shower, leave the fucking door unlocked so I don’t have to go squat in the backyard. Teddy is doing the same stupid thing, and Nia can’t understand why me and Val are hopping around, squeezing our legs together, waiting for you morons to get your cookies. If this continues then all three of us girls are going to get UTIs.”

“What?”

“Urinary Tract Infections. Never mind. Second, now that we’re talking openly, you have to realize that you don’t need a penis to masturbate? If you love me, Drew, you’re going to extend the same courtesies. Because I can’t get myself off standing in the shower. I like to be in bed, on my back.”

“What?”

“Yeah, on my back. Preferably, with mom’s vi ... Oh, never mind, we’ll come back to that. Third, by my calculations, it’s been at least four days since you last jerked off. Where did all that semen go? You must have squirted buckets.”

“What?”

“I swear to God, one more of those 4-letter words and I’ll BITE you.”

“What?”

“THAT’S IT!”

He fended her off, laughing. So, she retaliated with tickles. When they finally settled, he leaned over to kiss her. She shrank back.