Sixteen Scandals
Copyright© 2026 by Zappedfan
Chapter 7: Mister Pre-Camp
Edna walked into the Latrine and waved off all the female cadets giving her the silence sign. She knew the drill, now. The vent was down and between the bench and wall. The blackened cardboard was in place.
She could hear nothing inside the air chase. But she was sure that Cindy, Donna, Amy and Jane from City University were in there.
She could hear the voice of Mike Driver in the male drying room. Good. Mike’s humiliation is multiplying every day. Of course, that was true of all the Twenty Torpedoes, even Bobby. But, Edna decided on concentrating on humiliating Mike. It would be better if he was smaller, though.
In the gang shower, Edna saw Claire McGrisken. Edna smiled widely and jerked her head in the direction of the air chase. This was the first time Edna was in the shower with girls who had already been in the air chase during one of the free shows.
When the voice of James Parker came through the air chase, Claire opened her eyes wide and mouthed “WOW!” with her hands up about twelve inches apart. Edna shook her head disapprovingly at Claire. What a size queen.
“Don’t Stop Believin’” started playing. Edna pointed down then started making a pendulum movement. Claire almost laughed out loud but stopped herself.
Marilyn Monroe started singing “Do It Again.” Claire pointed down with her index finger. Then she slowly raised it up to pointed at the ceiling. Some of the other St. John’s and Fordham female cadets in the shower pantomimed applauding Edna as Edna pretended a bow.
Edna and Claire went to dry off. They heard the voice of Greg Williams. Claire gasped and held her heart looking up and batting her eyes. At this Edna grinned broadly and nodded her head vigorously while giving the thumbs up sign.
As she and Claire put on their robes and turned to leave, Edna thought she heard Bobby’s voice by the sinks. Edna froze and stayed behind as Claire left. Edna was amazed at herself that she was able to recognize Bobby’s voice from so far away over all the other male voices over there.
She stepped on the bench and put her ear to the cardboard. Now she could hear heavy breathing and lip licking in the air chase. Yep, Bobby’s female classmates are in there, all right. Then she heard Bobby’s voice coming closer. He was entering the drying room.
Part of Edna wished she could warn him and part of Edna was glad she couldn’t. He was going to take off his towel.
GASP! GASP! GASP! GASP!
Edna cast her eyes down. “Well,” she thought, “Now they know. I’m sorry, Bobby.”
Then Edna smiled a little.
“But, on the bright side, you’re sure to be more popular with these four.”
Back in the bunks area, Edna got dressed and waited with the other Sixteen Scandals for the City University girls to take their victory lap. This wasn’t part of the original plan but had now become a tradition.
After the last chords of “Soldier Boy” faded, Cindy walked in shaking hands clasped over her head like she had won a prize fight.
“City University,” she announced, “Hereby awards the titled of Mister Pre-Camp to ‘Grade-A’ Greg Williams.”
There was vigorous applause from Fordham and St. John’s girls.
“We reserve judgement,” Nancy said.
“Where did you get ‘Grade-A’ Greg?” Edna asked.
“Oh we have names for all the Twenty Torpedoes,” Cindy answered.
“Macho Mike,” Jane offered.”Studmuffin Stan,” Donna added. “Jumbo James,” Amy continued. “That’s OFFENSIVE!” Edna retorted.
“What’s offensive about Jumbo James?” Amy asked.
“Oh, did you say Jumbo?” Edna retreated, “I thought I heard Jungle James. Yes, Jumbo James is very appropriate. He’d probably like that.”
Cindy stepped up to Edna smiling, “And, of course,” she said teasingly, “Bronze Bobby.”
All the St. John’s, Fordham and City University girls laughed.
“Wait,” Nancy said, “I get the other names. But why Bronze Bobby?”
Twelve voices answered in unison, “You’ll find out!”
All Sixteen Scandals had to learn the City University names for the Twenty Torpedoes in the next five minutes before formation.
“So, if Grade-A Greg is Mr. Pre-Camp, who’s the first runner up?”
Claire asked Cindy, “Jumbo James?”
“Hey,” Nancy interjected, “We Hofstra girls don’t know how to vote yet.”
“Vote?” Edna asked.
“Not in writing,” Nancy said in a calming voice, “None of this is ever written down. But after tomorrow’s free show when we’re all playing off the same sheet of music, we should compare notes.”
“Notes?” Edna asked.
“Mental notes,” Nancy said reassuringly again, “None of this is ever in writing. But, I for one, would like input from my peers in the Sixteen Scandals on the rank ordering of the Twenty Torpedoes ... from first place to twentieth.”
“That seems so crude,” Edna said.
“You don’t think they’ve rank ordered us?” Nancy asked.
“That doesn’t make it right,” Edna replied.
“Okay,” Nancy said feigning disappointment, “You don’t have to participate. But without your input, who knows?” Nancy smirked, “Macho Mike Driver may come in second.”
“I’M IN!” Edna proclaimed, “And I’m voting for Macho Mike to be twentieth!”
Everyone laughed and went out to formation.
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