Sixteen Scandals
Copyright© 2026 by Zappedfan
Chapter 13: Cadet Nobody
Bobby’s face was beet red. His jaw had dropped and he stared off a thousand miles in the distance. His walk had changed to a stagger as he slowly shook his head in disbelief.
Nevertheless, Edna drove on through the end of the story.
“And this morning was Hofstra’s turn,” she continued, “They took it to a new level. They put the baby oil on the floor so you guys would slip and get it all over yourselves like exotic dancers. They shot potato pellets at your butts. And while you guys were drying off, they spritzed you all with cologne. That’s why you smell so nice now.”
There was a pause. Bobby took a few deep breaths. His face returned to near his normal color.
“Is that all at long last?” Bobby asked.
“No,” Edna shrugged sheepishly, “I knew you guys were walking back to your bunks naked.”
“And?” Bobby asked.
“And I drilled a dozen peep holes in the privacy wall,” Edna admitted, “So the rest of us could watch you guys again.”
“Oh,” Bobby tried to remember something, “Was I...”
“Hard?” Edna asked, “Yes. It bobbed up and down as you walked.”
Bobby started to redden again.
“You also danced a little on the way down the hall,” Edna continued, “You made your butt...”
“OKAY!” Bobby interrupted, “I get it! I put on a big show. You all got cheap thrills and had a big laugh at my expense.”
“Cheap thrills, yes, but nobody laughed, Bobby,” Edna answered, “All the Sixteen Scandals admired every one of the Twenty Torpedoes.”
“Could you at least stop calling us torpedoes?” Bobby asked, “All through that story you were going back and forth between calling our dicks torpedoes and calling us torpedoes. It’s like you’re saying we ARE our dicks.”
“I get that. You’re right,” Edna said, “It’s like calling a woman a ... I won’t do it anymore.”
“Thank you,” Bobby mumbled, “Wait a minute,” Bobby suddenly stopped short, “If you watched me walk back to my bunk this morning, why did you ask all those embarrassing questions at breakfast?”
“Just to see you blush,” Edna admitted, “Your blushes melt my heart. It’s part of the whole head over heels in love with you thing.”
“Well played, Edna,” Bobby said and smiled for the first time in a while, “You’re even more capable than I thought. And a LOT more voyeuristic.”
“Do you have any more questions” Edna asked.
“Um,” Bobby thought, “When did you realize you loved me?”
“Wednesday morning,” Edna answered directly, “When I never watched Greg Williams shower because I spent the whole time staring at you.”
Really?” Bobby asked, “Hmmm.”
“Wipe that smug grin off your face!” Edna said pushing Bobby slightly in the chest, “We had a vote this morning and Greg beat you for first place thirteen to two with one vote for James Parker.”
“Claire McGrisken?” Bobby asked.
“Yes,” Edna answered, “How did you know?”
“When a male cadet gets a female cadet’s number,” Bobby said, “It gets around.”
“You men are pigs!” Edna said. Then she realized the hypocrisy, “Not as much as we girls have been this week,” she admitted, “But still pigs.”
“So,” Bobby prodded, “I came in second, then?”
“Nooo,” Edna answered, “We had another vote for second and you still only got two votes.”
“What other female cadet kept voting for me?” Bobby asked.
“I could tell you,” Edna said, “But then I’d have to kill her.”
“I see,” Bobby said again, “It’s that bad.
“Edna, you said that after you told me all this, you would have a question for me?” Bobby asked, “About you?”
“This is the hard part,” Edna thought.
“It’s more a question about us,” Edna said. “Is there an us?” she asked.
“Edna,” Bobby started, “It was clear from the first day of training that you’re a Super Trooper, a shooting star.”
Edna was confused. “What are you talking about?”
“When you asked to sit with me that first dinner,” Bobby continued, “I thought you were just familiarizing yourself with us underlings the way natural born leaders do.”
“You’re not an underling, Bobby,” Edna insisted, “We’re in the same class.”
“You’re a Cadet Captain, I’m a Cadet nobody,” Bobby answered, “But then at dinner we seemed to really click and I thought that I had made a powerful friend, Someone who could be an important contact.”
“No ... No...” Edna stammered, “But then it changed, right?”
“In a way,” Bobby said, “But not the way you think. When I got back to the barracks after military competitions, the guys were really respectful toward me. I’m not used to that. They were impressed that I had made time with you. It felt really good.”
“You guys were TALKING about me that way!?” Edna asked annoyed.
“To review,” Bobby said, “This was while you were having the dress rehearsal for the first morning of spying on us naked.”
“It’s not the same,” Edna muttered.
“Well,” Bobby said, “The next morning at breakfast...”
Edna leaned forward, “That’s when it changed?’ she asked hopefully.
“I thought I’d press my luck,” Bobby said, “I asked to sit with you and ... you know ... I buttered you up. I even skipped Military Competitions and went to the Post Library that night to look up the Nubian nose.”
“DAMMIT! DAMN YOU!” Edna cried, “I thought you were NICE! You made me feel PRETTY! I NEVER get to feel pretty!”
Edna broke down in uncontrollable sobbing. “Don’t LOOK at me!” She insisted, “TURN AROUND!”
Bobby turned away and heard the crying go on for a long time with a few choice words now and then.
“Over a BOY!” she cried. “I’m such a fool,” she cried. “I fell for the Nubian nose trick!” she cried. “I missed watching Greg shower!” she cried. “I almost fought another girl for him!” she cried.
Then the sobbing faded away and Bobby could hear only some sniffling and adjustments Edna was making to her appearance.
“I’m okay,” Edna said, “Turn back around.”
“Edna,” Bobby said, “I thought maybe you had a crush on me but that was it. I thought we were just having fun.”
Edna held up her hand, “No apologies necessary. You told me that first night you were married. I was out of line entertaining any silly romantic ideas. I should have broke it off right away. I take full responsibility for this,”
Edna began walking again, “Let’s go back around front.”
“If it makes any difference,” Bobby said, “I forgive you for spying on me.”
“Thank you,” Edna said calmly, “Do you forgive the rest of the Sixteen Scandals, also?”
“Yes,” Bobby said, “You’re always looking out for your troops, aren’t you?”
They turned around the side of the barracks.
“So, Cadet Dolan,” Edna asked, “What are you going to tell your wife about all this?”
“Nothing,” Bobby answered, “I’ll never tell anyone anything, I swear.”
“Is that to protect me or to protect you?” Edna asked.
“Mostly to protect me, I guess.” Bobby admitted, “My wife would kill me if she ever found out that I was...”
“Flirting?” Edna suggested, “Leading another girl on ... worming your way into her heart ... and then breaking it?”
Bobby slowed down, “Yes, I did all that and I’m really sorry. I never meant to...”
Edna held up her hand again. “I don’t want an apology,” She said, “I want proof.”
“Proof of what?” Bobby asked confused.