Chapter 42: Compliance

May 1, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

"Interesting development," Bianca observed when I arrived home mid-morning on Sunday.

"But not the way you think," I replied. "Bev and I had a very, very good talk, got everything out in the open, and she's going to get in touch with the baby's father."

"That's good, right?"

"It's complicated. There is a key thing you don't know that I cannot share at the moment, and suffice it to say, what I learned last night, which is about that thing, is good and bad."

"You're talking in circles."

"I know, because I can't reveal the thing I know. I suppose the bottom line was that Bev and I had sex for the last time a bunch of times last night and this morning."

Bianca laughed, "Of course. Orgasms are like Lay's potato chips! No one can have just one!"

"I can't argue with that! In any event, I think Bev will call the baby's father, and there's a better than even-money chance they'll get together."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Given something Bev said, I think it's for the best."

"So it's over?"

"I can't imagine a future where Bev and I are a couple at this point. I was my usual blunt self with her about how I felt, and that's when she admitted the key thing I didn't know, which was something of a game changer. I might have to manage a bit of fallout, but I don't think it will be too bad."

"If she sees him and publicly acknowledges him as Heather's biological dad, can you explain more?"

"Potentially."

I hung out with my housemates until lunch, and after lunch, I did a bit of housework. Bev called at 2:30pm to let me know that she'd called Glen.

"And?"

"I simply asked him if he wanted to see Heather, and he said that he did. I insisted he come alone and not tell anyone my address or phone number as a condition, and he agreed. He's going to drive up to Chicago next weekend."

"I'd say that's a good thing. Are you going to say anything to him about how you feel?"

"I thought it would be better to see how he reacts to Heather and to seeing me."

"That's probably the best plan. How did he sound?"

"Happy," Bev replied. "Have you spoken to your mom?"

"No. I usually call her around 3:00pm. Do you know what Glen might say to her?"

"No. We didn't discuss anything other than Heather plus his trip to Chicago."

"OK. Unless she mentions it, I won't say anything. Let me know if you need anything at all."

"You're too good to me, Jonny."

"You know I love you, Bev. I always have."

"And I love you, too, Jonny."

"Call me after Glen goes home and let me know how things went. We'll get together after that."

"I will!"

We said 'goodbye', and I hung up, then called my mom, even though it was a bit earlier than my usual call.

"Jim Newton is royally pissed at you," Mom said after we greeted each other.

"Name a single thing I could possibly care less about! In a choice between Bev and her dad, how would anyone with even a hint of a clue think I'd ever do anything that went against her wishes?"

"I'm not sure he's thinking rationally," Mom said. "He said you refused to accept a letter from Julie and him for Bev with, in his words, a 'smart ass answer'."

"I quoted Tom Hagen from The Godfather to be snarky because the fact that Bev registered her car to my address and used it for her driving license and for the child support checks Glen is sending her, it's not as if I could deny being in contact with her. But I played cat and mouse with the investigator, and he hasn't figured out where Bev is."

"My son, the spy!" Mom teased.

"The point was ensuring he couldn't find her, at least right away, because Jim would do something stupid, most likely driving up to Chicago and trying to confront Bev. And that will go horribly, and she might even run away again. I don't think so, but she might, and that's a risk nobody should take. I saw her yesterday and encouraged her to get in touch with her parents. She declined."

"And Glen?" Mom asked.

"You go first on that one," I replied.

"And all of a sudden, you're cagey."

"I gave my word to Bev."

"He called me a few minutes ago and let me know you'd encouraged Bev to call him so he could see Heather. He's driving to Chicago next Saturday morning."

"All true," I replied. "I promised Bev not to say anything about it unless you broached the subject for what I suspect are obvious reasons."

"He did say she swore him to secrecy about where she was living and made him promise not to tell her parents."

"What's your take?" I asked.

"You mean about Heather? Or about Glen and me?"

"They're so intertwined that I'm not sure those answers are separate."

"I think, ultimately, the fact that Glen slept with a student and got her pregnant gives me enough pause that I don't think I'd marry him."

"Might I point out that someone else got pregnant in High School?" I asked.

"But not by a teacher!" Mom protested.

"OK, but to me, that detail isn't all that important, given Bev made it absolutely clear she seduced him."

"And he exercised poor judgment."

"Mom, did YOU exercise good judgment sneaking out to get pregnant with me?"

"That was NOT why I snuck out!" Mom protested.

"Well, you snuck out and performed the necessary ritual to invite me into your life without using birth control."

Mom laughed, "'Performed the necessary ritual'?"

"Letting the stork know you wanted me!" I declared. "I mean, that's how it works, right?"

"Yes, of course!" Mom said, and I could hear her roll her eyes.

"But my point is still that one instance of bad judgment shouldn't define us, even if we have to live with the consequences. I'm not saying you should change your mind, just that it takes two to tango. If you don't think he's a good candidate, consider it like Spring Training, and now you're ready for the Majors. It's time to meet the future Mr. Linda Kane, and I'm positive there are other eligible gentlemen who would be suitable."

"What is this? The 1950s?"

I laughed, "I could put it in 80s terms or be earthy!"

"Thank you, no," Mom said with a soft laugh.

"But seriously, Mom. Consider Glen as what my friend Lily called me — a 'starter boyfriend' — and find a way to meet someone who hasn't slept with your son's best friend when she was a student."

"It amazes me that it doesn't bother you at all."

"You taught me to be non-judgmental," I replied. "Looking back, I'd say your goal was to ensure I didn't turn out to be like your dad."

"You're right, of course, and you aren't anything like him. Did you get in touch?"

"No. I won't even attempt it until I speak with Aunt Wendy and Uncle Alec next Sunday. Keiko is going with me."

"So it's her, then?"

"As I said to a friend, she checks all the boxes, and that's the trajectory we're on. But neither of us is in a rush to get married or start a family."

"Sometimes you don't plan that," Mom observed.

"No kidding! Anything else going on?"

"Not really. How about by you?"

"Just work, school, helping Bev get settled, and hanging out with my friends."

"Then I'll let you go, and we'll have our call next Sunday."

"Sounds good, Mom. Talk to you then."

We said 'goodbye', and I hung up, then went back to hang out with my housemates until around 3:00pm when I went upstairs to get ready for my date with Teri. I showered and dressed, then headed for Teri's house in Bridgeport. About twenty-five minutes later, I walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

"Hi!" Teri exclaimed. "Come in!"

She was dressed in a grey wool skirt with a green sweater, with her red hair draped over her shoulders. When I saw her, it suddenly dawned on me that she'd invited me to her house and arranged for us to be alone. Had we not had so many arguments about sex and relationships, I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but now I wonder about it. In the end, though, I wasn't about to make the commitment she'd require for what had crossed my mind to happen.

"Hi," I said, stepping into the house.

"You can hang your windbreaker on the coat rack."

I slipped off my jacket and hung it on the rack, then followed Teri into the front room where an REO Speedwagon album was playing.

"Do you want a bottle of pop?" she asked. "We have Pepsi, 7-Up, root beer, and ginger ale."

"Root beer, please."

She left and returned with two bottles of Barq's, one of which she handed to me.

"How was your week?" she asked.

"Good. I helped my friend Bev move into a new apartment."

"That's the one with the baby, right?"

"Yes."

"And the one who has dibs, if she wants them."

I shook my head, "No. I had dinner with her and her daughter yesterday, and we talked things through. She's going to try to fix the situation with the baby's father."

"I'd say that's probably a good thing."

"Yes, especially for you! Another piece removed from the chessboard."

Teri laughed softly, which was what I'd hoped would happen.

"How many more are there?"

"Well, the global population of eligible females between the ages of eighteen to twenty-four is probably around 200 million," I chuckled.

"Permission to say something you've declared off limits?" Teri requested.

"Sure."

"And your goal is to sleep with every one of them!"

"Hmm," I said, stroking my chin.

Teri rolled her eyes, "Such a guy!"

"Veering away from a topic I put off limits, the point I was making was that I had pointed out that I needed to figure out my relationship with Bev — that's her name — before I could even think about a committed relationship with anyone else."

"A necessary but not sufficient condition, at least for what I've said I want."

"I think the disconnect, if I can call it that, is that at eighteen, you seem absolutely sure about what you want, whereas, at twenty, I'm not."

"You mean in terms of a wife?" Teri asked. "Because you're absolutely sure about what you want from your career."

"Yes. Remember, I only had my first real date less than two years ago, and before that, I had one close friend — Bev — and didn't spend time with any other girls, even casually. I also only had a couple of guy friends, and they weren't close. I bet you have friends from grade school and at least hung out with guys in a group."

"I do, and I did," Teri replied. "I know I'm risking you leaving by saying this, but if you weren't able to have sex, would you still be reluctant to marry?"

"Yes," I replied. "As I think I said once before, a desire to have sex is a terrible basis for a marriage. If I had a choice, right now, between chastity and marriage, I'd choose chastity, at least in the short term. That said, I certainly wouldn't sign up to be a monk or a Catholic priest!"

"Give a girl a clue, please. What will it take for you to make a decision?"

"Time. And that has zero to do with what you've alleged in the past. The last thing I want to do is rush into a lifetime commitment only to have it turn out to not be a lifetime commitment."

"Isn't that always a risk?" Teri asked. "I mean, even Catholics get divorced despite it being against the teachings of the Church."

"Sure, but why not take time to be sure that you have worldviews that are compatible, that you have enough things in common, and that you know the person well enough to make that decision."

"I see your point, but if you think you've found the person, why wait?"

"Asked because you think you've found the person, which is why you keep asking me out despite the disagreements we've had."

"About one thing," Teri said.

"You expressed concern about my friend Violet and my commitment to her, and that is absolutely not about that 'one thing'. Maybe you don't believe me, given what I've revealed about how I conduct my life. But, if that's true, and you don't believe me, then that argues against a relationship. Trust is key, and without it, both business and personal relationships are difficult, if not impossible."

"I hadn't looked at it that way," Teri admitted. "But in my experience, guys don't get that close to girls without that 'one thing' happening."

"I actually have two extremely close female friends where that 'one thing' is not even a consideration. One is a fantastic confidante who has helped me find my way as a completely naïve kid from Goshen, Ohio, who had come to the big city and experienced the wider world for the first time. The other is my friend Violet. I haven't done more than hug either of them, though they have kissed my cheek in a platonic way."

"And you'd be OK with me having a guy friend like that?"

"It wouldn't bother me, though I think your brother fills that role for you."

"He does, and his advice was, well, I suspect you can imagine."

"Actually, given how well I'm sure he knows you and what he's said, I'm not sure what he might have said."

"He basically said I should get over my hangups."

"I actually don't consider it a hangup. It's a legitimate response to events in your life. He and I might choose different responses, but I don't think either of us could legitimately reject your response as wrong or invalid. And even if he did say what you're implying, we still would have to come to some kind of agreement on church, which is actually the bigger challenge."

"At the risk of having you redirect the conversation, you're going to have to explain that."

"Simple — our diverging views on sex are simply about timing. A short conversation would ensure we were on the same wavelength in that regard. We both know the theory, and I have experience with putting the theory into practice, and I don't believe your lack of experience would be any kind of limiting factor once we had that brief conversation to ensure there were no incompatible inhibitions."

"A circumlocution to ask if I'd swallow?" Teri asked with a smirk.

I chuckled, "Not intentionally, but I see how you might have understood it that way given ... sorry, I can't say that by my own rule."

"Go on, I won't be upset."

"Given that you appear to have a one-track mind on the topic. But set that aside, please. There's the church and religion concern, and then, of course, your intent to attend UofI in Champaign. I know we touched on that latter one, but you've had more time to think about it."

"There are at least six good music programs here in Chicago, including Saint Xavier University, which is Roman Catholic, the University of Chicago, Columbia College Chicago, Northwestern, and UICC. And while it's probably too late to get in for the Fall, a gap year would work, or a year at Champaign and then a transfer. The one thing that would cause me to change my 'do everything with my brother' policy would be a marriage proposal.

"Church is, as you've said, the trickier problem. I can't stop believing any more than you can start believing, and I'd want to have my kids baptized. If I understood what you said, you'd be OK with that, so long as you didn't have to make promises, which would mean no church wedding. And you'd want the freedom to express your views to the kids, even if they contradict the teachings of the Church."

"There is no 'if' with regard to contradictions!" I declared with a smile.

Teri rolled her eyes, "OK, Mr. Pedantic, even when they contradict the teachings of the Church."

A timer went off in the kitchen, and Teri went to check on dinner and came back.

"We can eat now," she said. "I made «Stobhach Gaelach», or Irish Stew, though it's somewhat Americanized in that I used beef rather than mutton. I also made soda bread, which is traditionally Irish, and I have two bottles of Guinness stout, imported from Ireland."

"Are you trying to make a point?" I asked with a smile.

"We've been to Greek, German, and Italian restaurants, so why not Irish food?"

"It wasn't an objection; it was just a question."

"I am Irish, with all the things that go with that — red hair, green eyes, Catholic faith, and a fiery temperament. I also happen to be a good cook. Shall we eat?"

"Yes."

She directed me to the dining room, and I sat down while she brought in the food, politely refusing my offer to help. Once she had the food on the table, she sat down, said grace, then served both of us stew and bread.

"This is excellent," I said.

"They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!"

"So they say! And something we haven't really discussed is that I have a very modern view of the division of labor at home. I'm not looking for the 1950s wife who brings me a pipe, slippers, and a martini!"

"Don't worry, that's not me! What about childcare?"

"I've changed exactly one diaper in my life, but I don't feel that's something only women can do."

"I'd say most twenty-year-old guys haven't ever changed a diaper, so you're ahead of the game by having changed one! I'm going to guess you'll have enough money to hire a maid and a nanny if you want to."

"If things go according to plan, yes, though whether I do that or not would depend on more than just the money. Obviously, that would be something I'd discuss with my wife."

"As if I'd object to someone else cleaning the house! I'm not my grandmother in Ireland who thinks NOBODY but her knows how to properly clean a house."

When we finished eating, Teri served homemade butterscotch apple cake with vanilla ice cream, which was excellent. After dessert, she accepted my help to clean up, with me drying dishes and putting them in cabinets as she directed.

"Thank you for a wonderful meal and dessert," I said as she took the drying towel from me.

"You're welcome. Do you have a specific time you need to be home?"

"Only early enough that I can get at least six hours of sleep, which means no later than around 11:00pm. What did you want to do?"

"I'll give you two options, and you choose, OK?"

"Sure."

"We could see Valley Girl, which sounds cheesy, but the reviews say the music is awesome, or we could go to bed together."

"And you think it's safe to say that because you're positive which one I'll choose," I said with a smile. "But I don't believe you've considered what your offer means."

"How so?"

"If I acted the way you believe I act, I'd choose to go to bed with you, and we'd both be acting inconsistent with our character. If I act the way I actually act, I'd choose the movie, and we'd both be acting consistent with our character. You are, in effect, counting on my acting differently from how you believe I act, or the offer isn't real. But if the offer isn't sincere, you risk me being upset and walking out and deciding not to see you again because you violated the rule."