Chapter 35: What Happens Next is Anyone's Guess

April 7, 1983, on the road from Overland Park, Kansas to Chicago, Illinois

On Thursday morning, Violet and I had done as we'd planned, and Bev was released from the hospital just before 9:00am. Consulting an atlas I found in her car, I'd determined the best route, and we were on I-35 heading north towards Des Moines, though we'd turn off before we reached the Iowa border.

"I meant to ask," Bev said, "but what about the hospital bill?"

"There is some kind of state program for what they called 'indigent single mothers' that will cover most of the charges. You'll receive a bill for a token amount. I asked them to send it to my house. Is there anything you need to do in St. Louis?"

"No. I closed my bank account the day I left. I didn't open a new one."

"What about your job?"

"I called and told them I quit the day I left."

"I didn't ask yesterday, but have you been in Overland Park since you left St. Louis?"

"Yes," Bev answered from the back seat where she was sitting with Heather. "I needed to get away because I was sure the private detective would find me. I looked in my atlas and decided to come here and figure out what to do. I was sure four hours away was enough."

"I'll say this just once," I said. "You should have come to Chicago and allowed me to help you. Even if the investigator had found you, there was nothing anyone could have done. And I have no problem standing up to your dad."

"I needed my space," Bev said.

"And we could have worked something out. I won't belabor the point, but running away is no answer, especially when you have a baby to care for. But that's in the past now. Let's focus on the future — counseling, then a decision about school and work, and where to live."

"You don't trust me, do you?" Bev said, sounding sad.

"Someone pointed out that I walked out on you without so much as a word before I had decided to do it and also pointed out that until I understood why I did that, I should be very careful about making any commitments."

"Your friend Anala or your housemate Bianca?"

"No," I replied. "Someone else."

"It was me," Violet said. "Jonathan, you should tell her what you said last night."

I wasn't sure what Violet's angle was, nor that I should tell Bev, but now that Violet had intimated that I knew, I couldn't not answer.

"I think, and this is tentative, that I was afraid you would tell me not to go, and because I always did what you said, I'd have given up on the idea. Once the job was confirmed, and I had accepted, it was a fait accompli, and it was safe to tell you."

"I'd never have told you 'no'!" Bev protested.

"I didn't say you would have, just that I was afraid you would, because you were in complete control of every single part of our relationship. And I always gave in to what you wanted."

"You didn't protest, especially on my sixteenth birthday!"

I chuckled, "Right, because what guy in their right mind would turn that down? Or not in their right mind?"

"Was that when you two..." Violet asked, leaving the completely obvious implication hanging.

"Yes," I replied. "Someone surprised me by kissing me for the first time, and one thing led almost immediately to another. Well, first time on the lips, anyway."

"I just don't understand," Bev said.

"Maybe it was irrational fear," I said. "But tell me, when was the first time I demanded you do what I wanted with a clear indication I wouldn't back down?"

"Yesterday. Every other time, if I said I wanted things a particular way, that's how they went."

"I hope you can see why I might have subconsciously worried. You still had a year of High School and wanted to go to UC. If I'd suggested looking for a job in Chicago, don't you think you might have encouraged me to look for one in the Cincinnati area instead?"

"Maybe," Bev admitted. "But who knows at this point because you never gave me the chance."

"I know. And it's been a mess ever since. Besides going to counseling, you're going to accept child support from Glen. I'll call Mr. Chojnicki and have him make the arrangements, with the checks made out to you but sent to my house. I should be able to do that with the legal documents you created."

"I don't want to see him ... or my parents."

"That's why the checks would be sent care of me. Short of a stakeout and tailing me, there is no way anyone will know where you are. Well, my mom will because I told her yesterday, but she'll keep my confidence, I'm sure."

"She won't tell Glen?"

"Not unless you or I say it's OK."

"You won't take 'no' for an answer, will you?"

"No. Same as with counseling. And with figuring out your future."

"Not 'our'?"

"'Our' in the sense of you and Heather, yes, but the three of us? You've turned me down three times already and then disappeared without a word."

Bev sighed, "I'm sorry."

"And I accept your apology. Remember, no matter what, I'm here for you. I think the last two days ought to prove that if nothing else has. And that means I'll do anything in my power to help you and Heather and to protect you. But beyond that? That's a future conversation, and probably not just one."

I turned east onto US-36 and checked with Bev when she'd need a stop. She laughed and said that all depended on when Heather needed a diaper. About forty minutes later, we stopped in Chillicothe, Missouri, so she could change Heather's diaper and we could all get bottles of Coke.

We ate lunch in Hannibal, Missouri, and Bev pointed out that was the fictional hometown of Colonel Potter on M✶A✶S✶H. After lunch, we crossed into Illinois, and by my calculations, we'd make the trip in about eight hours, even with stops. True to my estimate, we arrived in Chicago just after 5:00pm.

April 7, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

"We need to stop at O'Hare to get my car," I said. "Bev, you'll have to drive your car to Violet's house because she doesn't drive. I promised to teach her, but we never got around to it. Violet, we'll do that this Summer, for sure."

"OK," Bev agreed.

"OK," Violet added.

At O'Hare, I couldn't drive into the parking garage without paying a fee, so I pulled up to Departures, grabbed my bag from the trunk, and Bev got into the driver's seat. They pulled away, and I walked into the terminal, then crossed into the parking garage and retrieved my car. I paid the parking fee at the exit, then headed for Violet's house in University Park. The trip took about eighty minutes because it was rush hour, but I finally made it.

Violet got Bev settled, and thankfully, Bev had her portable bassinet in her trunk, which I carried in and set up in the guest room Bev and Heather would be using. We ordered pizza from Aurelio's, and after we'd eaten and I confirmed that the girls were OK, I headed home.

While driving to Violet's, I remembered something that had completely slipped my mind — class. I'd arranged to miss Wednesday's class due to the Hawks game, but not today's, which meant I had missed the Wednesday and Thursday assignments and not turned in Monday's as I'd planned. I decided my best course of action was to call Troy after the time class let out to get the assignments, then call my professor in the morning to explain my absence and the missing assignments.

"Hi! Did everything go OK?" Bianca asked when I walked into the house.

"Yes," I replied. "Come upstairs while I unpack, and I'll tell you."

She joined me in my room and sat on the bed while I emptied my suit bag.

"Bev will stay at Violet's for now, and she's agreed to get counseling for her 'baby blues', which the doctor described as 'sub-clinical depression'. According to the doctor, that means Bev doesn't need medication, just counseling. She's also going to accept child support from Glen."

"And Violet is handling this OK?"

"Violet was a champ! She was nervous during takeoff, but once we were airborne, she was OK, and in Kansas, she was nothing short of amazing. Outgoing, funny, intelligent, and completely at ease."

"Uh-oh," Bianca said.

"Don't read anything into that beyond she's coming out of her shell. To illustrate, I received exactly the same hugs and kisses on the cheek, and no hint of even a thought of anything more, and that was despite having connecting rooms."

"The fact that you knew what I meant tells me you think the same thing I do."

"That it's possible Violet might decide she can handle a physically intimate relationship? Sure. I'd still say the odds are against it, though not as heavily against as I would have said a week or two ago. She's still fairly uncomfortable with even inferences about sex. Anyway, she took great delight in telling everyone I was a clueless boy when it came to babies."

"I don't think she's wrong!" Bianca said, laughing. "But I bet you'll learn quickly, just as I will, and anyone else who hasn't cared for a baby."

"Violet's daycare experience came in very handy, that's for sure."

"So you and Bev?"

"I told her directly that I'm offering nothing more than friendship, and everything that's happened since May 1981 raises huge questions about a future together. She has to get counseling, then figure out what she wants to do with her life in terms of where she lives, school, and work. I'll help, but that's the only thing I've committed to. I also made it clear I won't be submissive to her the way I was until basically yesterday."

"That's good, though I prefer when you do what I want."

I chuckled, "You and every other person in my life, not just women!"

I checked my watch and saw that it was late enough I could call Troy and let Bianca know I was going to make the call. She headed downstairs, and I dialed the Maguire's number. Teri answered, and I decided to just ask her.

"What happened to you tonight?" she asked after she'd given me the assignment.

"A friend of mine had an emergency, and I flew to Kansas City to bring her back to Chicago."

"Now that's a real friend! Would you be interested in getting a cup of coffee?"

"I would," I replied. "OK if we discuss on Monday which day? I'm busy this weekend."

"Sure! See you Monday."

We said 'goodbye', and I hung up, then called Josie to let her know I was in town and that our date for Friday was still on, if she was interested. She was, so we agreed we'd meet in the lobby of the Hancock Center at 5:15pm. We ended the call, and I headed downstairs to join my housemates. I gave them a synopsis, leaving out what I considered sensitive details, and after the 10:00pm news, I headed up to bed, accompanied by Bianca, as Thursdays were 'hers'.

"When will Juliette move in?" I asked as we got ready for bed.

"In August, most likely. She's going home to Anaheim after the semester ends. And to answer your next question, I'm happy to invite her to bed with us on Thursdays if that's cool with you."

"I think the correct answer on my part is that it's your night, so it's up to you. And that's not me being submissive, or whatever, just giving you the option."

"What do you want?" Bianca asked. "You almost never answer that question, or if you do, it's 'to make you happy'."

"Which maximizes my happiness because a happy girl is a willing girl!"

"And vice versa!" Bianca said with a soft laugh. "The willing girls are VERY happy. But that answer does fit your utilitarian model. Keeping the girls happy keeps you drowning in a flood of pussy!"

"As I've noted on other occasions, I'm not a complete idiot! Are you and Juli going to be a couple?"

"You mean exclusive with each other and with you?"

"Yes."

"We didn't discuss that, actually. I'm OK either way, and I suspect she is, too. Shelly wanted to be exclusive, so we basically were. Going back to you and Bev — you don't have to answer, obviously, but are you going to sleep with her?"

"I'll answer," I replied. "I mean, you're my pseudo-wife, after all!"

Bianca laughed softly, "It has worked out that way, hasn't it?"

"Yes, and I'd say you're my most important confidante. To answer your question — not in the near term. I can't say what happens in the future."

"I was going to suggest that, not because I care who you fuck or don't fuck, but because she seems emotionally fragile."

"I'd say that's spot on," I agreed as Bianca and I got into bed.

"Normally, you ask what I want," Bianca said. "Tonight, I want to know what you want?"

"No athletics because I'm pretty beat after the last forty-eight hours. You on top, then sleep spooned?"

"What do you say? Your wish is my command?"

April 8, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

On Friday morning, I was refreshed from a good night's sleep, and after a quick shower, I went downstairs to have breakfast with Jack while Bianca went to her room to sleep for a few hours.

"How was the game?" I asked.

"Other than the Hawks losing 4–2, it was awesome. The seats are fantastic. Thanks!"

"That was Murray Matheson," I replied. "I didn't ask him to do that. And they did win 7–2 last night, so hopefully, they'll make the second round. I'll have tickets for the first or second home game, if they do."

"Bears and Bulls as well, right?"

"Yes, and box seats at both baseball stadiums. Being low man, I have limited options, but I will have a chance at tickets. That's not a complaint, mind you, just a fact of life. Changing subjects, any idea what Kristy wants to do tonight?"

"She wants to see The Meaning of Life, a Monty Python movie."

"That works. What about dinner?"

"Star of Siam; she's on a real Thai kick lately."

"The food is great, and the menu is varied, so that works for me."

After we ate, we made our lunches, cleaned up, then left the house, heading for the Hancock Center, listening to 'Murphy in the Morning' on the radio, which we both found to be hilarious. At the office, I repeated what I'd done on Monday, as I'd missed two days and had to catch up, though I finished sooner than I had on Monday.

The morning was busy, I ate lunch at my desk, and then Anna and I left the office to go to the gym in the building.

"You should find someone else to go to Saint Martin with you," she said when we stepped into the elevator.

"I'm sorry, what?!" I asked in complete surprise.

"Just as I said."

"Why?"

"Because you literally dropped everything and went running to Bev when she called you. Nobody can compete with that, and I'm not going to waste time and energy trying."

"That is not what happened," I protested. "Whatever anyone might have told you, and I have to imagine it was Mr. Matheson, Bev did not call me, the police did."

"A difference which doesn't matter. You literally blew off going to an ice hockey match and two days of work because she needed you. And I believe you'll do that again, and again, and again."

"I think you're mistaken, but it sounds as if you've made up your mind."

"I have, because you have."

"I can't go into details, but what should I have done?"

"I don't know? Call her parents? Call her friend in St. Louis? Let the government handle it? Instead, you dropped everything and flew on an expensive ticket the minute she needed you."

"Something I would do for any close friend," I replied. "Bev and I are not dating."

"But she's here in Chicago, isn't she?"

"Yes, but I fail to see the point."

"Of course you do."

I understood Anna's concern, but I felt she should at least let me explain. Unfortunately, she didn't seem receptive, and I decided further discussion was likely futile. The best course of action, as I saw it, was to wait a few days to see if I could convince her she was mistaken. Anna foreclosed that plan, seemingly sensing what I was thinking.

"I'm not going to change my mind," she said as we got off the elevator.

"OK," I replied.

We went to the gym, I went into the locker room, changed, then began my exercise routine with stretching. As I did that, I thought about the situation. There were two takeaways — first, I was absolutely, positively done with dating anyone from Spurgeon. Second, anything that Murray Matheson knew was likely to spread. In this instance, I hadn't asked him to keep it to himself, but as I saw it, Anna knew far too many details. I wasn't happy with Anna or with Mr. Matheson, but I could also now safely tell Sharon I was not dating anyone from Spurgeon and never would.

That also left open the question of whom to take to Saint Martin. I had many options, and fortunately, I had a bit of time to think about it. Knowing someone could go with just a driver's license meant I didn't have to worry if they didn't have a passport, though I was sure a passport would be easier.

Anna saying she didn't want to go to Saint Martin or 'waste time and energy' implied that our date for Sunday was off, and given everything she'd said, I didn't feel I needed to say anything, as she'd quite clearly ended our relationship. I decided I'd call Teri around 4:00pm to see if she wanted to meet on Sunday afternoon for coffee. I also needed to find time to change the address on my driver's license, which would have to be a week from Saturday, as I was meeting with Violet's counselor this Saturday.

When I finished my exercise routine, I showered, weighed myself, recorded the weight, and then dressed. I decided not to wait for Anna and returned to the office. The afternoon was busy, but I took time just after 2:00pm to call Barnes and Walden to speak to Mr. Chojnicki. He was available, and they put me through to him.

"What can I do for you, Jonathan?"

"I want to speak confidentially," I said.

"We don't have attorney-client privilege, but I'm positive that's not necessary. A confidential conversation is OK."

"Bev is suffering from sub-clinical depression, what a friend of mine called 'baby blues'."

"Postpartum depression," Stefan said. "It's poorly understood and creates all manner of trouble for the women who suffer from it. How is she?"

"She received medical treatment, and she's going to start seeing a counselor. I'm calling because she agreed to accept child support from the baby's father."

"She's going to need to authorize me to proceed."

"I believe I can do that," I said. "I have three documents — power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, and assignment of guardianship in the case Bev is not able to care for Heather."

"When and where were those executed?"

"In St. Louis, and they're dated March 3rd."

"What law firm?"

"Kelleher and Daniels. I can give you their number."

"Please do."

I read it off the cover letter that was with the documents.

"Do you need me to fax these to you?"

"No. I'll get copies from the St. Louis firm. I can show them a retainer document to show I'm her attorney of record in the custody case. They'll send them to me. Who is the father?"

"Complete confidentiality, right? You won't reveal this to anyone?"

"Only so far as necessary to take any legal action necessary."

"You won't need to. He's offered to pay and will do so without a court order of any kind."