Chapter 11: I'm Sure I Will!

February 15, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

"Do you agree that every rule has an exception?" I asked as Anala and I sat down for coffee after work on Tuesday.

"I think it's better to ask if your rule is too rigid rather than if there should be exceptions. Once you make an exception, it becomes easier to make another, and another, and eventually the rule is meaningless."

"I didn't expect a 'slippery slope' argument from you!"

"I don't see it that way," Anala countered. "I'm simply making the argument that once you violate a closely held principle or rule, whatever you want to call it, it becomes easier to do in the future. Think of the debate you had with yourself about which of your ethical principles was paramount and why it was so difficult."

I nodded, "Because I knew that once I decided that it was OK to go back on my word, my word wouldn't mean anything."

"And what would happen then?"

"OK, I see your point, but it is possible to make a one-time exception for an overriding purpose."

"If you can trust yourself to evaluate the situation correctly, dispassionately analyze the situation, and make a decision consistent with your principles, or with a clearly defined exception. I think you probably could because you're dispassionate, unlike the other Ohioan I know! What's the dilemma?"

"A smoking hot Swedish blonde who works for Spurgeon."

Anala laughed, "What is it with you boys from Ohio and Swedish girls?"

"What do you mean?"

"My friend from Milford just had a week-long visit from an extremely pretty Swedish girl he met when he was an exchange student during High School."

"Well, if he chose her over you, he's an idiot!" I declared.

"As if I'm going to believe that!" Anala replied lightly.

"You're gorgeous, Anala," I said. "Black hair, beautiful brown skin, a nice figure, and extremely intelligent! I daresay I'd overlook a busload of blondes for you!"

Anala smiled, "I appreciate the thought! I believe you're thinking with your «lingam»."

"You mean because I described her as 'smoking hot'?"

"Yes. I'm going to guess she flirted with you?"

"She brought me Swedish candy and a Swedish dessert for Valentine's Day."

"And that's all it takes to throw out your rule?"

"I didn't say I threw it out; I asked about exceptions."

"Which you would only ask about if you were considering one. I think, if you're going to break that rule, you just have to give it up, because what rationale could you provide to allow this exception but not apply it to the other young woman you told me about. Do they have names?"

"Anna, who's the Swede, and Haley."

"Ask yourself this question, too — how would Haley feel if you broke your rule after adamantly sticking to it?"

I thought about it for a moment, then nodded, "It might create the exact situation I created the rule to avoid."

"Don't you think that answers the question?"

"It does," I agreed.

"Now, if you could create a rule that wasn't specific to Anna, or 'just this once', then you could consider it, so long as whatever justification you gave would prevent the conflict you're seeking to avoid, or would allow you to date both of them, which has its own risks. How are things with the other young women you're seeing?"

"Fluid," I replied. "Nobody is pushing me too hard to be a couple, but several of the girls have dropped hints or actually expressed that desire."

"If you aren't ready, don't do that, but that means accepting the chance that they'll decide to move on rather than wait it out. What about Bev?"

"That's still a confusing mess, mostly because she's so confused."

"Do you see a future with her?"

"I have no idea," I replied. "Things have changed so much in the past two years that I no longer know her the way I did growing up."

"You're both adults, not children, and that changes things. Graduating from college or getting your first job is a transition from what amounts to a carefree world for most people into a serious one."

"My world was hardly 'carefree'," I countered.

"I understand, but what was Bev's biggest concern?"

"She didn't really have any," I said thoughtfully. "Her dad always had a good job, she had both parents, everything she needed, and many of the things she wanted."

"All provided by those parents. Now she has to care for herself and her baby."

"But there's no need for her to do it alone," I protested.

"From your perspective, and based on your experience as the child of a single mom, you believe that. Bev apparently doesn't. I'd suggest part of her growing up is doing this on her own."

"But she ran to a family in St. Louis rather than to me."

"At least partly because you ran away from her, Jonathan."

"Shit," I sighed. "But didn't you tell me she was responsible for her response to what I did?"

"Yes, of course, but that doesn't absolve you of your responsibility for your decisions. And you know that because you're still beating yourself up over not discussing Chicago with her before you made the decision. You've both hurt each other, and now you have to find a way back, which, while possible, will be difficult.

"The one thing that is impossible is for things to be the same as they were before you left home. If you're hoping for that, I am here to disabuse you of that notion because it simply cannot happen. There is no way to go back to that idyllic relationship because you are now two very different people."

"Who have hurt each other."

"Yes. So whatever future you have with Bev has to be based on the new dynamic, not the old one."

"I don't disagree, but that doesn't make it suck any less."

"No, it doesn't. Have I helped?"

"I think so," I replied.

"But you still want to go to bed with the hot Swedish girl!"

I chuckled, "Guilty as charged, but you know what I'd much rather do!"

Anala smiled, "And yet, even if I offered, you'd say 'no' for the reasons we've discussed in the past. Think about that, too, when you're considering exceptions. What would happen if we made a one-time exception?"

"I think it might be more like Lay's potato chips!"

Anala laughed softly, "Nobody can eat just one. And I suspect we'd find reasons to make an exception to the point where there wasn't a rule anymore. Think about what might happen down the road when I found the man I would marry. Are you truly dispassionate enough to simply walk away, as it were?"

"It would be fun to find out!" I chuckled, then became serious. "But I see your point, and I don't disagree with you."

We finished our coffee, and after I walked Anala to the L, I walked back to the Hancock Center to retrieve my car and head home.

"Any guests tonight?" Bianca asked.

"No. Ellie will be here tomorrow night, and Keiko again on Thursday."

"You do like your Oriental girls! Twice in one week!"

"Go on, say the next thing!" I chuckled.

"You could have all the variety you wanted if you would follow my plan!"

"Or I could just marry an Oriental girl," I countered. "But marriage is in the future."

"Dinner in ten minutes, then Shelly and I would like to take you to bed, if you're interested."

"Always!"

February 16, 1983, Chicago, Illinois

"FX Desk, Kane," I said when I picked up the handset of my phone just before 10:00am on Wednesday.

"Jonathan, it's Mandy Peterson. Could you come to my office, please?"

"Sure," I replied. "Be right there."

I got up, went up to 30, and walked into the Personnel office.

"Hi," I said to Haley. "Mrs. Peterson asked me to come up."

"You can go right in," Haley said.

"Thanks."

I walked to the door of Mrs. Peterson's office and stopped.

"Good morning," I said.

"Come in, shut the door, and have a seat, please.

I did as she asked, sitting across from her.

"Is there a problem between you and Paige Jennings?"

"I believe she thinks I'm receiving special treatment and special privileges and is unhappy with my rapid advancement. Did she complain?"

"Yes, but I know her complaints are false."

"Am I allowed to know what they were?"

"Mostly, they were about favorable treatment. What she failed to acknowledge is that there are fundamental differences in your situations, including you having your securities licenses and bringing in significant new business. She blamed it on her being female."

"Mostly?"

"She also complained about a culture of sexual favors and pointed to both you and Mr. Matheson."

"Completely untrue," I said firmly. "At least with regard to me. I can't speak to Mr. Matheson."

"I understand that, and, as I said, her claims are unfounded. That said, she has threatened to hire an attorney."

And suddenly, I understood what I was doing in Mrs. Peterson's office. The ultimate question she wanted to ask, but couldn't ask directly, was what I was going to say if there was an outside investigation or, worse, a lawsuit. I knew I could allay her fears by making a clear statement that I wasn't going to turn State's evidence, as it were. While I'd report an SEC violation in a heartbeat, this wasn't that.

"Mrs. Peterson," I said, "I have no first-hand knowledge of any inappropriate behavior by anyone who is part of the FX Desk. If there's an investigation, I really do not have anything to add."

"What would you say about your relationship with Rachel Kealty?"

"That she and I worked for different managers and that it never progressed beyond being friends. Since then, I've had a firm rule about not becoming involved with anyone who works for Spurgeon. Both Haley and Anna can attest to that."

"I'm sure they will," Mrs. Peterson confirmed.

"What happens now?" I asked.

"That's up to Miss Jennings at this point."

She had painted a huge target on her back all because she felt I'd advanced too far, too fast. But, by threatening to sue, she'd also created a potential problem for Spurgeon Capital. They couldn't terminate her without extensive documentation that she wasn't doing her job, had violated some SEC rule, or breached her employment contract.

I was VERY glad I hadn't made an exception to my rule for Anna because that might have turned very ugly. But, that fortunate decision aside, I had two concerns beyond Rachel, and I felt I had to raise one of them. The other was a trickier problem.

"I do need to say something about a pair of situations of which I don't believe you're aware," I said. "The weekend we moved to this building, I spent the night with Sharon Williams. In addition, I had a brief relationship with Charlotte O'Malley. Those were both before Rachel, and it was the situation with Rachel that led me to my policy."

"Does anyone else know about those?"

"Besides Sharon and Charlotte?" I asked with a grin.

Mrs. Peterson laughed, "I like your sense of humor, but you want to be careful with that."

"Sorry. No. Nobody knows unless one of them talked."

"Then there's no need to mention either of those or Rachel unless you're asked directly."

"Understood."

"Keep this to yourself for now, and do not discuss it with anyone other than Mr. Spurgeon, Mr. Matheson, me, or Legal."

"I won't."

"Thanks, Jonathan."

"You're welcome."

I got up and wondered about the other potential problem — the rumors which everyone knew and which I was positive were true. To me, that meant Spurgeon couldn't afford to allow an investigation, and that meant Paige was going to be paid off and required to sign an NDA. I made a silent bet with myself that would happen soon. As I passed Haley's desk, she stopped me.

"I won't join you for lunch tomorrow," she said. "It's not worth the risk."

"I agree."

"I do have good news — I received an offer from Allen & Baker, and I've accepted."

"Does Mrs. Peterson know?"

"Yes. I told her this morning. I was going to tell you at lunch, but then this happened."

"When do you start?"

"My last day here is March 4th."

Which meant I was going to have a serious dilemma trying to balance seeing girls who wanted more than a casual relationship. Something was going to have to give between Clara, Keiko, Ellie, Deanna, and Haley, and I had no clue how to make that decision. Of course, there was always Bianca's solution, but I wasn't convinced that it was a good idea, and I certainly wasn't convinced that any of the girls I was interested in beyond sex would go for it, except Bianca. That said, I had to give Haley a fair shot, as it were.

"I assume you'll want to go out on the 4th?" I asked.

"Obviously!"

"We'll talk before then, though carefully."

"Yes," Haley agreed.

I went back to 29, and as soon as I walked through the doors of the office, Anna called me to let me know Mr. Matheson wanted to see me. I went to his office, and he motioned for me to shut the door.

"I take it you just came back from Personnel?"

"Yes."

"I made a big mistake in hiring that leftist bitch," he growled. "And now I'm stuck with her. You are not in any trouble, and I have your back."

"Thank you."

"I know you are a team player, and Mr. Spurgeon and I know you'll do what's right for the firm."

"Always," I replied. "What's going to happen?"

"Noel Spurgeon hasn't decided just yet, but she's gone as soon as we can figure out a way to do it."

"The longer she stays, the more toxic she's going to become," I observed. "Pay her off, have her sign an NDA, and move on. Call it the cost of doing business. But you have to make it worth her while. She'll take the value proposition of a big payout. Even better, call the professor who she was working for and get her old job back and pay her off. If you don't, the firm culture will change in a way you don't like."

"YOU don't like the culture here!" Mr. Matheson protested.

"It's not called Kane Capital, now is it?" I asked with a sly smile.

Mr. Matheson laughed, "No, it's not."

"Then it's not up to me to define the culture. As for liking it or not liking it, honestly, I do not care what anyone else does, so long as it doesn't affect my job. And that is why I decided not to get involved with anyone here after the situation with Rachel Kealty.

"I hear you, but if Anna was hot for me, there is no way on earth I'd turn her down."

What I wanted to say was that she had turned HIM down, but the last thing I wanted to do was cause any problems for her.

"It's about risk versus reward," I said instead.

"Your call, obviously, but I won't stand in your way. I'll be jealous as hell, of course."

"I hear you. Anything you need me to do?"

"Just keep up the good work and continue to be a team player. You'll make more money than you could possibly imagine."

"I have a pretty good imagination!" I replied.

"That's a good thing! Get back to work."

I left his office and went back to my desk. Just before noon, I went to the lunchroom to eat my lunch before I went to the gym and Anna came into the break room.

"Is it OK to eat with you?" she asked.

I couldn't really say 'no' as it was the break room for the entire team, and I had no claim to it.

"Yes, though I'll only be here about ten minutes because I go to the gym."

"You eat first?"

"Yes. It doesn't bother me, and I don't eat big meals — a sandwich, chips, and a piece of fruit."

"How often do you exercise?"

"Three times a week. When it's nice out, I ride my bike as well."

"Do you have an exercise partner?" she asked.

I had a distinct feeling of where this was going, but Anna had been nothing but kind, so I felt the least I could do was allow her to ask the question I was sure was coming.

"No. I had the exercise physiologist in the gym create a routine for me and I simply do it on my own."

"Would you like to have a partner?"

The question I had to ask myself, well, actually two questions, were: was this the proverbial camel's nose under the tent that would be the first in a series of decisions that led to violating my rule, and how would it be viewed by others at Spurgeon. Providing grist for the rumor mill was not my idea of a good thing to do, but it was also the case that working out together was not the same thing as dating or, strangely, I thought, having lunch together.

In the end, I felt that after the candy and cake she'd given me, I couldn't refuse, and so long as I was careful, it should be OK.

"If you're interested, I wouldn't mind having someone to work out with."

"What do I need?"

"Gym shorts and a T-shirt," I replied. "You'll need to get a membership, though."

"Mr. Matheson offered it as a benefit when I joined Spurgeon, so that's taken care of."

"Then come downstairs with me and see Tim and set things up."

"Great!" she exclaimed.

We finished eating, I got my gym bag, and Anna and I went down to the gym. I introduced her to Tim and then went to the locker room to change. Anna left during my workout, which wasn't a surprise, given she didn't have gym clothes with her. When I finished, I stopped to talk to Tim.

"Girlfriend?" he asked.

"Co-worker," I replied.

"She'll be back Friday with gym clothes, and I'll give her a routine similar to yours. There are at least two machines of each type you use, so you'll be able to do your routines together; she'll just have lower weights or less resistance as men have far more upper-body strength."