Chapter 10: Departure

When the door of my house closed behind me, slamming so hard to shake slightly the pier mirror located in the hall (which served to my mother to give one last check to her look before going out ) I fell to my knees and I burst copiously into tears. That day I made the greatest decision of my life which would have never been the same again. While I was at the foot of my aunt, now my Mistress, I was happy and almost I had not thought about what was going on around me, about the audition or about what could have happened to me in the future. But during the long journey back with the bus I had analyzed the situation better and I realized that handing my life to my aunt it was almost as if I had handed it to my cousin Kaley who, unknowingly, already in my first day of slavery had taken advantage of the situation, subtracting me that part that I desired so much, defeating me when it was really important, because it was a real movie and not a school play.

I could not help but think that mine was not a real defeat, Kaley was not better than me, she only got the part because I had not done the audition, too busy licking the feet of her mother. I had realized, by now, that it was not a coincidence that my aunt had chosen to meet me on the day of the audition, but I could not be angry with her for trying to help her daughter. What I would give to have a mother who cared about me in that way. I do not know if my aunt in the future would have also involved Kaley in our strange relationship, but even if I hoped with all my heart that our relationship remain a secret I was well aware that if my Mistress had ordered me to grovel at the feet of her daughter, I would have crawled to the feet of my biggest rival as a filthy worm.

As I wiped my tears, I began to think about a much more urgent problem ... how to deal with my mother. My brain went to work. I had already planned to go to the studios immediately after leaving the house of my aunt, to beg the people charged with the audition to give me another chance and allow me to audition, but it was an idea I had discarded immediately, I was no more in their eyes a person you can rely and it would have been only a waste of my time. While I walked into my room, throwing myself on the bed, I thought of call those people to beg them not to say, at least, that I had not made the audition but I discarded even that idea because my mother had a lot of connections and she would have done everything to know why her daughter had not got the part and at the end someone would have definitely told her of my absence. There was no other solution, I had to face my mother and tell the truth, or at least a part of it, I certainly could not tell her that I have missed the audition because I was at the home of her sister, licking her feet and declaring me as her slave. I decided to pretend that I had been sick along the way and I had been forced to return home. That night I had no dinner, I was in my bed trying to prepare a good speech and be as convincing as possible, I was an actress after all, or at least I could have been one.

The next morning, I was eating breakfast when my mother came into the kitchen.

- Mom... - I said, preparing myself to pronunce my speech.

But my mother completely ruined my plans and when she violently slapped my face, I was so surprised that I did not feel immediately the sting on my cheek.

- Mom... - I tried to say again, looking at her frightened, unable to stop another slap.

- Where the hell have you been? Why did not you auditioned? - she said, looking at me with anger, her eyes seemed to flash.

- I was going, then on the bus I felt sick and... - another slap hit my face which was by now flushed.

- Liar, if you had felt bad, you would have called to inform them. Have you been with a guy? Did he fuck you like the slut that you are? No no, you’ve never had a boyfriend, you are so incompetent that you are unable even to find a guy and at this age the boys would fuck anything that moves. You are just a nobody, you are not worthy to carry the name Martin. Your poor father must be rolling over in his grave to have a daughter so useless. I bet your aunt is still laughing for the gift you have given to her daughter, despite the efforts that I have done to make you do the audition. I had vouched for you and I will never forgive you for embarrassed me in this way with so important people, I will never forgive you for this humiliation that was inflicted on me - my mother said and then, after a final hard slap, she left, leaving me alone in my despair.

I locked myself in my room and I cried like I never cried in my entire life. The words of my mother had hit me deeply, they were not only angry words dictated by the moment but I could feel in them all her dissatisfaction with having a daughter like me, a daughter who was a constant disappointment to her. My mother had always dreamed that I would follow in her footsteps and become a model but with the passage of time she had realized that, having taken the genetic traits of my father, I would never have had a hope to enter in the world of fashion. And when she was convinced of being able to make me an actress, after years of expensive lessons, I had failed again.

“She is right, I’m just a nobody,” I thought as I continued to cry, lying on my bed.

I stayed locked in my room without going out for more than three days, crying continuously and trying solace in food. I ate almost uninterruptedly chips and other snacks that were anything but dietary, but I doubted that my mother would have cared longer of my fitness. While I savored another chip in my mouth, I could only think of my aunt, looking at my phone, waiting for a call or a message of my Mistress, the only thing that was important to me.

I hadn’t heard from her for more than a week, then, when I was starting to lose hope I heard a beep, and my heart stopped for a moment. I left on my bedside table the sandwich that I was eating and I took the phone in my hands with so cautiously that it seemed the most precious thing in the world, hoping with all my heart that it was not another message of Rose. It was not. I almost jumped for joy when I realized that my Mistress needed me again, needed again her slave.

“Jen prepares your suitcase, I will have to go to Paris for the fashion week and I want you to come with me. I’ve already talked to your mother, I know that you are not talking at this time and I explained her that it would be good for you to stay away from home for a while. She answered only with a cold “Suit yourself, I do not care” but it’s still a positive response. You know, I should not ask your opinion, but I will make an exception this time, so let me know if you agree, and if you want to come with me. The departure is scheduled in two days, so think about it quickly.”