Chapter 4

Lucy fell asleep first, she was exhausted, poor dear; and, rightly or wrongly, I got out and carried her to her own bed. Mary brought her hot water bottle as well as mine and we packed them round her. Then we returned to my bed and hugged even closer. “But, I won’t ... you know. You understand?” she said. I understood. She could not give herself to me, nor would I take her. It would be too awful to destroy her marriage chances for one night of pleasure, however wonderful I was sure it would be.

So she lay atop me, and beside me, and finally me atop her; but nothing of intrusion took place. Perhaps the pressure should have been removed by hand, perhaps that would have been better. In the morning, we woke to the sound of two happy children running past. They did not even notice that two people were in one bed and no-one was in Mary’s. When they had gone, we kissed for Christmas. “But, what is this stickiness Jay?” Mary asked.

“Oh ... I fear I have had another night time emission. I’m sorry.” Neither of us thought anything of it, I had not entered her, she had not even opened her legs, we were safe. Lucy woke and we quickly threw on night clothes and dressing gowns, the better to rush down immediately. Lucy was cross that she had been moved, but soon forgave us since she had slept better than either of us. My dreams had all been of a nature that I could not repeat to ladies. I had imposed on every member of the household, including Cook. Joy had begged for more in my dream. I was rather shocked at my subconscious and decided to have a cold bath straight after the stockings.

Which I did. The stockings held the traditional orange and apple (may you always have enough to eat) and half-sovereign (may you always have enough money, but not too much), plus a book – I fear someone had confused the stockings for mine was ‘Life of a Female Missionary’; though some of the pictures of the South Sea Islanders in their native dress were undoubtedly to my taste. I did read the book and it suggested (though never explicitly) that the missionary concerned had opted to dress as the locals did to put them at their ease. I tried not to imagine a female missionary dressed only from the waist down. Lucy’s book was ‘Adventures Amongst The Natives’, which she insisted on reading and revelled in the tales of cannibalism and implied misuse of captured women – which I am sure was exaggerated. Mary had ‘The Good Wife’s Guide to Housekeeping’. She said the only interesting part was the chapter on a wife’s duty to her husband – twice a week and no more apparently.

We dressed, I actually moved my cold bath to a cold wash and jolly cold it was too. Then church where the old reverend gave the address to give the new reverend a rest. The old reverend was hard put to know what year, month or day it was. It was a rambling sermon that made no sense; but to be honest most of them are. Dinner was delicious, Cook is wasted cooking for such a small establishment, she could work in much bigger houses. I went down stairs to compliment her – which she liked, and took a sprig of mistletoe to ‘claim my kiss’ - which she also liked. When I suggested she could work in bigger houses she said “Well, bless ‘ee. But I get enough fun ‘ere. I enjoy the work, I get to try new dishes – like the fish you’s had with dinner; like it? Aye – fish with gooesbries, who’d a thought it eh? In some grand place I’d be rushed off me feet and be bossed by some hi-follutin posh lady besides. No I’m ‘appy ‘ere so I be. ‘Ere, there be another berry on that sprig ... no, not me, Master Jay, see the scullery maid, that would make her day.” So I did, and it did. The scullery maid had a smile a mile wide when I left, Cook had left the room after nodding to Betty that a kiss would be allowed, and I clutched the girl. She was thirteen and this was her first job, she had soot on her face which I had to wash off before others saw, and I made sure she got her money’s worth from the small white berry. If my hands squeezed her bottom a little, I apologised and said I hope I did not take advantage but it was Christmas and she was very pretty. She was pleased.

Upstairs, the adults went to sleep and the children (which now included us because we chose it to) went outside and built snowmen and had snow fights and generally played until we were all wet and cold.