Chapter 8: Lily

After sleeping till dawn, Xiaodong and his mother never fell asleep again. After his mother cried for a while, the lower half of her body stopped shaking under the quilt. Xiaodong looked at his mother beside him from time to time, wanting to comfort her but not knowing what to say. Occasionally, he would look at the cave entrance with entanglement in his eyes. There was also desire in his heart, but he didn’t dare, he couldn’t, at least the ethical thinking in his heart had not changed. This is why he set the grave not far from the cave entrance, just to remind himself that his father was outside the cave, don’t make mistakes, but this reminder can only last forever...

The next morning, Xiaodong woke up first. He got out of bed early and walked out of the cave. He took the initiative to collect a lot of food, and the simple fishing net also collected a lot of small fish. Xiaodong was busy and meticulous. Normally, the morning collection work belongs to his mother, and Xiaodong is responsible for collecting fish, but this morning Xiaodong did it all by himself, which seemed a bit attentive.

When Xiaodong finished cooking, his mother was still covered with a palm leaf quilt and didn’t want to get up. She still wrapped herself in the quilt. She was no longer crying, at least her body was no longer twitching.

According to the time, she would have gotten up at this time every day, but she didn’t get up now. Maybe it was because she was angry with Xiaodong. The most important thing was that her initiative was rejected, which made her feel very embarrassed. Now she didn’t have the face to face Xiaodong. I don’t know how Xiaodong would look at her now. Mom was very shy and thin-skinned, but she didn’t have the face to get up. Continuing to lie in bed was her only way to escape.

“Mom, get up and eat...”

Xiaodong put the food on the wooden table, sat on the wooden chair and said to the stone bed. Xiaodong was the same. He was not much better than his mother. His eyes were full of guilt and reluctance, and more regret. He hurt his mother, which felt more uncomfortable than hurting himself. But when his mother heard Xiaodong’s voice, she not only didn’t get up, but wrapped herself in the palm leaf quilt tighter, hunched over and stuck out her butt, facing inside and not coming out.

“Alas ... Mom, do you want to live in there forever...”

Xiaodong walked to the front and for the first time, he pulled the quilt forcefully and said something at the same time. The quilt was suddenly opened, and Mom’s body trembled. She held her hands in front of her chest, looking helpless.

“Hey...”

After Xiaodong lifted the quilt, he turned Mom’s body over, then bent down and picked her up. Mom was caught off guard and could only bury her face in Xiaodong’s body.

Xiaodong carried Mom to the dining table like a princess, and then put her on a small wooden chair.

But Mom immediately buried her face on the table after sitting on the small wooden chair, put her hands on the table, and lay on the table like this, still not facing Xiaodong.

“It’s all my fault ... You eat, okay? Just think of it as Xiaodong begging you ... Don’t do this...”

Xiaodong continued to persuade her earnestly, but he couldn’t get angry with his mother, so he could only say it helplessly, and finally had to use the word “beg”.

“I’ll go wash my face...”

Mom seemed to know that she couldn’t stay like this forever, so she covered her face with her hands and left. She walked to the pool and started washing her face. Mom washed for a long time, and finally had to return to Xiaodong’s side and sat opposite Xiaodong. Although she washed for a long time, her red and swollen eyelids were still very obvious. Xiaodong naturally saw it, and a trace of heartache flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t know how to express it. He could only take food for mom with great heartache, and at the same time, he helped mom pick out all the fish bones for the first time. It was so considerate.

Mom sat there eating without saying a word. The two of them were speechless, without the kind of talk and laughter they had before.

“I’ve heard what you said in front of the grave yesterday...”

After eating, the two of them sat at the table without saying anything or leaving. It seemed that they both had something to say to each other, but Xiaodong was tongue-tied and didn’t know what to say. He was very silent. In the end, it was mom who spoke first.

“What ... what did you say?” Xiaodong was confused for a moment and asked in confusion. “I followed you when you moved the grave yesterday. I heard everything you said in front of Dad’s grave...” Mom didn’t look at Xiaodong, she lowered her head and crossed her hands, muttering. “I understand. Your biggest regret is that dad died too early and didn’t take good care of mom. Since we broke the window paper last night, I won’t hide it. There are only two of us on the island. It’s unreasonable to hide and cover up. Not only you, but I also felt that dad’s sudden departure was very sudden and I was not prepared. After listening to what you said, I had a lot of thoughts in my mind. My first thought was that although dad had passed away, I could still pass on the family line to the Lin family, that is ... with you ... Xiaodong, maybe this seems incredible to you, but dad is gone, especially when I saw my husband turned into a pile of bones. At that time, I really accepted the reality in my heart. Xiaodong, my husband is dead and can’t come back. I have become a widow. Since my husband is gone, if I am in a civilized society, I will remarry and start a new life after I calm down.” When mom said this, she finally looked up at Xiaodong. After talking more, she was not so embarrassed. Xiaodong was already dumbfounded by his mother’s words, so after hearing what his mother said, he nodded mechanically without saying anything.

“But you can see that on this island, our chances of being rescued are slim. We may have to live on this island for the rest of our lives, so I may not have the chance to remarry. I will slowly grow old on this island, and then become an old woman, and die peacefully in this cave, and then lie on the stone bed and turn into a pile of dry bones. When one day in the future, archaeologists or other personnel discover this island and this cave, everything here will become a cultural relic and be taken back to the civilized world for research, including my bones. I may have the opportunity to return to civilized society in this way in the future...”

My mother said self-deprecatingly, with pain on her face. If possible, she would also like to return to civilized society.

“Xiaodong, you are younger than me. If nothing unexpected happens, I will go first. If I leave, how will you live when you are old? At that time, I was thinking, if I could have a child with you ... no matter it is a boy or a girl, at least it can be regarded as continuing the Lin family’s lineage. After all, this child is also the blood of the Lin family. In this way, even if I die before you, the child will grow up. He can accompany you and accompany you. After you die, at least there will be someone to bury you. I know this idea is crazy and unrealistic, but how can the situation we are in now not be so incredible? Last night, I didn’t plan to do that, but ... everyone has needs. When my needs came, my idea at the time was to do what I wanted regardless of everything, let myself be impulsive for a while, and when everything happened that was irreversible, let my impulse break this layer of window paper, let my impulse make the raw rice a fait accompli, but I didn’t expect you to stop it in the end ... Xiaodong, I don’t blame you, you ‘s behavior makes me respect him, really ... Yesterday, like you, I talked to my father in front of his grave. It was a silent conversation. Although I knew it was meaningless, I still talked ... Do you know? At the last moment, I made a promise to myself, a promise to my father. If he agrees with my idea, I will let his grave be full of lilies ... But I think it’s ridiculous. There is not a single lily on this island, not even a seed. How can lilies bloom? Maybe my thoughts at that time were the same as yours, and I felt it was unrealistic ... So I had the impulse last night. The impulse last night was indeed a little irrational, so...”

“Mom, what you said makes sense, but...”

After listening to what his mother said, Xiaodong’s expression was very complicated. Although his mother’s ideas were a little unusual, some of them still made sense. At least he would really die after his mother. When his mother died, he would have to live for more than ten or twenty years. What would he do then? Mom still had Xiaodong to see her off, but what about him? Even if he might be saved in the future, how could he ask for help with his old body? “Pack up, there are still many days to come...”

Xiaodong wanted to say something, but his mother interrupted him, then stood up and picked up the food scraps and walked outside...

In a few days, the relationship between his mother and Xiaodong was slowly recovering, slowly returning to the time when they could talk about everything, but there seemed to be a layer of estrangement between them, that is, what happened that night, and the conversation at breakfast that day, but neither of them wanted to mention it, but when they looked at each other, there was still a trace of inexplicable emotion.

“The plants on this island grow so fast. Dad’s tomb has only been built for a few days, and plants have grown on it, and they are very dense. The important thing is that I have never seen this kind of plant. Logically, after such a long time, we should have known the plants on the island clearly...”

At noon that day, Xiaodong cut down some trees. After returning to the cave, Xiaodong wiped his sweat and said.

Since the tools were too simple, Xiaodong had to spend a lot of effort to cut down some trees.

During the past few days, Xiaodong would take the initiative to find topics to chat with his mother, perhaps because of the guilt he felt that day.

“Really? The environment on the island is so good, it’s not strange that the plants grow fast...”

Mom said casually while putting food on the table, but then she remembered something and stopped putting food on the table for a while, but then shook her head, maybe she thought that idea was unrealistic.

“You eat first, I’ll go out for a while...”

After putting the food on the table, mom simply washed her hands and seemed to be going outside to relieve herself.

After mom went out, Xiaodong sat steadily on the chair. He didn’t eat, but waited for mom to come back to eat together.

On the other side, mom went to the deep woods to relieve herself. In this woods, although the weeds were very dense, the two of them would still choose a longer distance to relieve themselves, because being too close would affect their living environment.

When they go to the toilet, they will bring sticks and other tools to bury their excrement, just like many animals now. Xiaodong and his mother have really returned to the primitive society. After all, there are only Xiaodong and his mother on this island. If they see excrement in the same place one day, it must be the other person, which will make them very embarrassed. They take good care of the surrounding environment.

After the mother finished relieving herself, she was ready to go back to the cave. She just turned her head and looked at her father’s grave. She pondered for a moment and walked over.

Perhaps because of guilt, the mother has not dared to go to her father’s grave these days. Now she walked over. Although she knew it was impossible, she couldn’t help but take a look.

“Ah...”

Xiaodong, who was waiting for his mother to eat in the cave, suddenly heard his mother’s scream from outside the cave. Xiaodong instinctively picked up the harpoon and rushed out. He thought his mother might have an accident. These days they were still worried that the two black men’s accomplices would seek revenge. The two had not gone to the beach these days for fear of leaving traces on the beach. The two had not dissipated their vigilance these days.

“Mom, mom, what’s wrong with you?”

After Xiaodong rushed out of the cave with the harpoon, he found his mother standing in front of his father’s grave, with her back to Xiaodong. She held her head with both hands and grabbed her hair.

Because she was facing away from Xiaodong, Xiaodong couldn’t see his mother’s expression. He rushed over quickly, asking as he ran.

“Impossible, impossible ... Impossible...”

Mom grabbed her head with both hands, staring at Dad’s grave with eyes wide open, and kept talking, as if possessed by a ghost.

“Mom, what’s wrong with you? Are you injured?”

Xiaodong was panicking at this time. While asking his mother, he looked around, and when he looked at his father’s grave, there was a trace of guilt and fear in Xiaodong’s eyes.

Xiaodong is a superstitious person. He may think that his mother is possessed by a ghost and tortured by his father’s ghost.

“Xiaodong, it’s the lily...”

Mom came back to her senses after a long time, pointed at Dad’s grave and said, her eyes full of disbelief.

“What did you say? Lilies are blooming on Dad’s grave. No way, they have just sprouted. Did you see it wrong?” After hearing what his mother said, Xiaodong looked at his father’s grave, which was covered with green grass. When Xiaodong heard about lilies, his eyes were calm. He seemed very ordinary, nothing special, but then he thought of something and asked quickly, his mouth began to stutter, because he remembered what his mother had said to him, if he agreed that his mother and Xiaodong would continue the Lin family, then let lilies grow on Dad’s grave. “No, I like lilies the most. I have planted lilies since I was a child and tried to cultivate them myself. How could I see it wrong? It must be lilies...” Mom said firmly. “But we have explored this island thoroughly, and we haven’t seen any lilies. We have even explored the cracks in the rocks...” Xiaodong said, scratching his head with his hands, while looking around. Finally, Xiaodong and his mother looked at each other, as if there was an emotional thread connecting them. Neither of them spoke, but they might have the same thoughts in their hearts.

If it were in a civilized society, Mom and Xiaodong might suspect that the other was the one doing the trick. Mom would think that Xiaodong planted it secretly, and Xiaodong would think that Mom planted it secretly. Everyone knew why, but they just didn’t want to say it.

But there is a premise here. There are no lilies on the island. Even if they want to plant them, where do they get the seeds? This is something that the two of them have not been able to do so far. The two looked at each other, and the suspicion in their eyes slowly dissipated.