Chapter 14: Beyond Shadows

A few weeks later

Sarah emerged from her car and breathed in the crisp winter air as it kissed her cheeks. She was in a mountain village far from civilization. A quaint town square right out of a Christmas card. A tall evergreen covered in twinkling lights proudly stood in the middle. It was long after Christmas, yet no one had taken the trouble to remove the decorations yet. She could get used to living here.

The sound of the city was a distant memory for her now. Weeks had passed since she had arrived here. She was shedding her old life and starting a new one now. She was Emily Hartwell now. A woman who was fleeing from an abusive ex-husband. The agency working on her case had taken care of everything for her. Now all she had to do was heal from her past and build her new life.

Sarah walked towards a small cottage, a place she visited twice a week. She had come to see ‘Veronica Castellano’, or Vee as she preferred to be called. Vee was her agency-designated counselor and the only person aware of her previous life.

Sarah let herself into the cozy living room. Vee was already seated, waiting for her. The older woman had a commanding presence that did not diminish her beauty. Her sharp features were softened by her kind eyes. Her looks were deceiving, though. She could see straight through Sarah’s carefully constructed facade.

“You’re doing amazingly well, considering everything you’ve been through,” Vee started. Her voice is soft and calming. “But I know there are still issues left unsolved behind your peaceful face.”

Sarah gripped her tea mug a bit tighter as she looked at Vee. They had been through this kind of conversation before. With every session, Sarah couldn’t help but reveal a bit more of her past and her emotions. She thought of Mark, and for the first time, she was angry. He had left without explanation. She could understand his reluctance to confront her, but couldn’t he have sent a letter? A note? Something to inform her that he was alive and well?

“What do you want me to tell you?” Sarah asked. She was still trying to control her emotional outburst, and her voice trembled. “That I miss Mark. That I’m thankful for this second chance. That I can’t just forget all about my dark history and all the things that I regret doing?”

Vee leaned towards her. She was sympathetic but equally stern. She did not allow Sarah to hide in her shell. “If you want to heal, then start by being truthful to yourself. Covering your emotions will only harm you more.”

Sarah laughed harshly. Heal? Was that something even possible after James had destroyed her life? After she had lost herself in the darkness? She had enjoyed the distorted thrill and the rush of power that her actions had given her. It was a dance that she had happily followed, step for step. Could she ever return from it?

Mark had entered her life and filled her with hopes of redemption. But even that had proved to be an act on his part. Was Mark any different from James? They both had used her for their own goals. She nearly wept at the realization.

“You are a survivor,” Vee stated gently. Her words cut into Sarah’s desperate thoughts. “Don’t lose sight of your strength. You managed to get out when so many would have given up.”

Sarah did not expect praise. She had felt like a broken doll, its pieces lost and scattered, for so long. Vee’s words opened her eyes to what she had achieved. She had come so far on her own. It was just the last mile that she was struggling with.

“I ... I feel lost,” Sarah confessed. Her voice was a little whisper. “I feel weak and alone.”

Vee put a reassuring hand on Sarah’s arm. The quiet act of affection moved Sarah. “You’re not alone,” she said softly. “It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.”

Sarah locked eyes with Vee. She was able to witness a glimpse of vulnerability in her eyes. It was a picture of her pain. She could also witness Vee’s strength in her piercing green eyes. For the first time, she felt hope. That she could break away from her past. That she could stand on her own.

“How do I begin?” Sarah quivered. “How do I become someone new?”

Vee nodded in sympathy. “One day at a time,” she replied softly. “We’ll get through your emotional baggage first. You can begin by creating a goal of your own. Something that you are really looking forward to. You won’t be alone on this journey, Sarah.”

Sarah relaxed more as they continued the session. For the first time, she mustered the courage to touch her hidden memories. She braced to confront the truth she had tried hard to deny. Wounds festering beneath the surface were exposed again. Yet she confronted the pain and bitterness in her heart.

Her healing had begun.

Sarah sat by the fireplace in her cozy cabin as she sipped on her evening tea. It was her daily ritual to go through the events of the day. It had started with her sitting by the fire and crying over everything that had gone wrong in her life. Eventually, she started merging her past with the present and found strength in who she was now.

Vee had been her lifeline, as she had helped Sarah walk the path of self-discovery. Vee wasn’t always gentle with her. She was demanding when needed and pushed Sarah to face her demons head-on. It was impossible to hide from her as she saw through her act and challenged her with probing questions and blunt directness.

Sarah thought back to a particularly intense session where Vee had spread photographs across the table. She could name some of them as James’s associates and clients. “Tell me about them,” Vee had said to her in a firm and demanding yet compassionate voice. “I want every detail you can remember.”

Sarah had always tried to resist those memories, but as she started to speak, something shifted inside her. She had seen them as the monsters in her nightmares. Now they looked like just players in a twisted game she had once been part of.

Vee listened intently and asked questions when needed. She helped Sarah draw out details that she hadn’t realized she remembered. She confirmed the dates and locations. Provided details on specific conversations. It was as if she were watching a movie, seeing her past self as a third person.

Vee leaned back in her chair with satisfaction at the end of the session. “You are doing great, Sarah,” she said with an encouraging smile. “You need to face your demons head-on and make peace with your past.”

Sarah felt a strange sense of pride. She had realized that Vee was not only a therapist, but she was also an agent. These sessions were not just about healing, but also gathering intel on James and his network. Yet, oddly enough, Sarah wasn’t repulsed by this duality. At least Vee was truthful.

In the weeks that followed, Sarah continued to testify, naming clients and confirming details of James’s deals. It was a cathartic experience in an unexpected way.

Of course, there were still gaps in her knowledge. But thanks to Vee’s guidance and support, she completed her part in the investigation and could finally be free from that mess.

A bouquet of lilies was waiting at her doorstep when she returned from her last informational session with Vee. There was no note with it. Sarah panicked at first and was about to call her contact from witness protection, but then something stopped her. She picked the flowers and carefully checked them. She noticed a lace used to tie the bunch together. It was a peculiar knot, very familiar to her.

Mark used to get lilies for her every time she did something significant. He used to tie the flowers this way. She smiled at the thought. Mark was keeping tabs on her. It was his way of congratulating her on her progress in her recovery. That thought warmed her heart.

Apart from her session with Vee, Sarah kept herself busy. She started working at a local restaurant. There was no need for her to look for employment, but she was just trying to find the familiar routine. Something she used to do during her college days. It was a way to connect with her past, but she soon grew out of it. She tried other jobs too, but apart from killing time, they did not give her any joy.

The obvious alternative was volunteering, and Sarah soon found herself at a women’s shelter. Work was exhausting, but she felt satisfaction in helping other women in need. She used her savings to support single mothers and women trying to get back on their feet. Her small contribution in their lives gave her a sense of satisfaction. In her own way, she was helping the community that had welcomed her with open arms.