Chapter 32

REBECCA

The morning after hearing about Rich’s promotion, Rebecca could tell that her Aunt Nancy had something serious to say at breakfast. “Honey, I think you had better face this personal nudity issue right away. It looks like you will be dealing with even more projects before long. Remember, you thought you failed the ‘physician heal thyself’ test for the marriage counseling. Aren’t you failing the same test with these nudity projects?”

Truthfully, it had bothered Rebecca since her early work with Sean and Sarah. When Arlene had come out of her project as a borderline exhibitionist, Rebecca’s guilt had piled up. She was at the point where she knew it would affect her counseling. With a sigh, she told Nancy “I’m all dressed for work, now, but this is the last I’ll be dressed at home.”

“Good. I’m sure we’ll have some folks dropping by tonight,” Nancy said with a grin that Rebecca read as evil.

There was another reason Rebecca could dodge the issue no longer. Two days before, she had received an invitation to participate in a symposium at Transformations. The subject was ‘Help For the Socially Challenged’. As would be no surprise from Transformations, all attendees would be nude.

Actually, Rebecca knew she would be somewhat of a star at the symposium because of her involvement in several ground-breaking cases. The fear came from having to attend nude. For all of her involvement and all of her belief in the value of nudity in changing the lives of some of her patients, she had only rarely exposed herself in a mixed setting. Even having as thorough an understanding as anyone of the effects of a rather prudish upbringing, she saw her own discomfort with being nude as a personal failure.

Her first task at the office was to call Julia Waxman, the Director of Transformations. She needed to know what help they could give in providing opportunities for exposure for the Gang’s projects. When Julia called back in only a few minutes, Rebecca told her “I have two things I need help with. The first is finding people to ogle the dicks of the Gang’s projects.”

With a chuckle, Julia told her “I don’t know if you’ve met Dr. Caroline Worth. She is responsible for extending our reach into the community. I’m sure she would love to talk with you. What is the second thing?”

“I’m afraid I have been guilty of extolling the benefits of nudity while keeping my boobs mostly hidden,” Rebecca admitted. “I’m starting at home tonight but would like any help you can give me with fast-tracking. You know, the ‘shocks now’ approach - I need it.”

“Hmmm. Today is Wednesday. Can you clear your Friday calendar?” Julia asked.

“Yes, I could manage that.”

“How about Thursday?”

“That would be tough. I don’t like to cancel a session the day before if I can help it.”

“OK, plan to be picked up after work tomorrow. You will be returned early Sunday afternoon. Bring nothing but your purse, briefcase, laptop or tablet, and cosmetic kit. No clean clothes or underwear. Do you want me to tell you what I will put you through?” Julia punctuated the question with a giggle.

“I don’t think so. I need my sleep,” Rebecca quipped.

“OK. I will tell Caroline to make some time for you Friday. Congratulations for taking the step. By Sunday you will be convinced how important it is to your practice.”

“Oh, I know how important it is! That’s why I am finally doing something about it.”

When she got home that evening, Rebecca immediately stripped, showered, and stayed naked. The girls were delighted, but they understood how difficult this was for their mother and restrained their reaction. Nancy, Rebecca’s aunt and one of the Gang of Five, had a different reaction.

“I have Transformations sending out a spread. That always draws drop-ins. It is not a sit-down meal because some of the folks could not make it until later in the evening.”

When Rebecca’s only reaction was a mix of panic and puzzlement, Nancy told her “Shocks Now!” Remember?

“H ... how many?”

“Dozens? Hundreds? This was kind of last minute, so some people could not give a specific time,” Nancy teased. “You, of course, will be the only one naked.” Seeing Rebecca about to object, she challenged her niece “How many times have you suggested this approach yourself? How many times has it proven the perfect way? Do you want to sleep tonight or toss and turn for several nights as you ease into this?”

There was no possible rebuttal to what Nancy had said. “You’re right, Nancy. I’ll just smile the best I can, blush, and try not to run and hide.”

Transformations had promised to send out a buffet before six o’clock. Nancy must have given some further instructions because the food was delivered and set up by five of the Lindsey’s boys. That was probably as big a shock as Rebecca would have to endure. Knowing that all of Lindsey’s residents were comfortable with and accustomed to nudity should have helped more. She herself had often encouraged subjects to use ‘mind over embarrassment’. She was quickly learning what a tough trick that really was.

Mentioning ‘hundreds’ was a naughty exaggeration on Nancy’s part, but ‘dozens’ was easy. Three van loads of Transformations staff people arrived at different times. Even Julia somehow made the time and Caroline Worth came on the first van and left on the last. She stayed close to Rebecca most of the time and in the scarce gaps between conversations, she told Rebecca about her own traumatic introduction.

The ‘stable’ all showed up, as did the Cashien family, Sean, and Troy.

Sleep came almost instantly that night when Rebecca finally got to bed.

Thursday morning, she woke early but rested. Sitting naked by the pool with her coffee, she tried to get her mind around what she had committed to. There was not much she could do about the terror she felt. She knew, though, that this was a critical step in what she hoped was a significant new direction in her professional life.

What were her goals for the weekend? First of all, the terror of exposure that she now felt had to be overcome. She had no illusions that she could ever become an exhibitionist. Would there be any realistic need to expose herself in the course of her practice? Well, the symposium invitation certainly answered that.

The second goal was to stop feeling guilty when she extolled the value of nudity to patients or projects. Lately, she had felt like a fraud too often.

The third goal was less distinct. She was sure that new ideas or even just nuances would come to her once the fear was gone. Her thriving practice had been built on a willingness to try unconventional things that had a believable psychological basis. Exploring what she thought of as therapeutic nudity fit her past record.

There was one overriding short term goal. No matter how afraid she felt, she MUST come through the upcoming exposure gauntlet acting confident and even enthusiastic. It was certain that Julia would pull out all of the stops. She had to remember the determination and courage with which Sean, Sarah, and lately Drew, Casey, Peyton, and Rich had entered into their projects. For her, the determination was there, but the fear meant she would have to use the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach.

Getting up and walking to the bathroom that served the patio, she took a critical look at her crotch. She always kept her pubic hair trimmed fairly short, but it still served as a ‘natural fig leaf.’ Every time she talked with one of the men about the erection problem, it brought home why the men were less enthusiastic about nudity. Their genitals were out there completely visible. She could never duplicate what men experienced with their genitals on display, but did she not owe it to her projects to come as close as she could?

There was still plenty of time before she had to dress and leave for the office so she went to the bathroom off her room and shaved her pubes. She left a small patch above because she believed it would draw more attention. Her rather prominent clitoral hood was quite visible below the hair and the labia were completely bare. Aware that her pussy was well formed, she still got weak in the knees after she had finished and thought about the finality of her action. The shave was irreversible, and that fit her commitment to acting more comfortable than she felt. Of course, she knew as well as anyone how much easier nudity was for most women, but she was doing what little she could to experience the men’s feelings.

Her panties were already on and she was holding her bra when she brought herself up short. Why was she dressing before the girls left for school? If she did not want Nancy and the girls to see her new pubic do, how would she deal with all of the others this weekend? Predictably, her exposure created quite a stir at breakfast. The girls were mostly aghast - not at her boldness, but at the fact that she willingly shaved off what was for them a hoped for badge of womanhood. Of course, Nancy had seen Phyllis’s permanently bare crotch for years, and congratulated her tearfully for her confident approach.

The van that picked Rebecca up that afternoon was driven by Randy Jameson. Arriving early, Randy chatted with Mary Ann in the waiting area until she told him she was leaving and he could go into Rebecca’s office. When he knocked politely and she opened the door for him naked, Rebecca was delighted with his initial look of surprise. The genuine look of pleasure that quickly followed produced a sexual thrill. Their introductions went smoothly.

Sitting neatly on the corner of her desk were just four things; a light robe, a pair of flip flops, her phone, and her drivers’ license. She had thought this out carefully. Going in so minimally equipped, actually so totally dependent on Transformations, fit with her commitment. How could she be more totally exposed and completely dependent?

“I assumed I would sit in the front passenger seat,” she explained, picking up the robe, and I didn’t know what I would have to walk over before I got inside. Don’t you just hate how women look walking in these things, though?” She held up the flip flops. Unable to detect any tremor in her voice, her confidence got a little boost. Randy’s look of surprise and a flash of admiration helped even more.

Just as the Gang did with Drew, Randy pulled the van up to the rear exit. She wore the robe, but carried the flip flops. They were barely onto a main road when he asked “You shaved your pubes just for today, didn’t you?”. She admitted it and told him the reasons.

“I once shaved my mother and my sisters,” he claimed to her astonishment. “It was for punishment while they were forced to live naked at Lindsey’s.” He then related the whole story of his life of sexual abuse, his escape to Lindsey’s, the kidnap attempt, and his persistent erection problem. He went on to explain what he did as a member of the staff.

Rebecca found him to be an exceptional conversationalist. However, he would not mention anything about what was in store for her. He chided her with “You told Julia you didn’t want to know. We always do what Julia tells us.” He got her to tell about some of the projects and how she had come up with the ideas. “Everyone at Lindsey’s is excited to meet you. You are kind of a hero, you know.” That surprised her. It really did not make what was ahead any easier, though.

When they pulled up to the manned entrance to Transformations, she noticed three vehicles waiting while they were admitted. The reason was not immediately apparent. When Randy parked, it was in a marked spot a long ways from any door. As he opened his mouth to explain, she held up her hand and told him “I know Julia. You don’t have to explain. Is the parking lot OK for bare feet?” He nodded. “Carry these for me, please. I’m going for an impression.” She handed him her phone and license. That fact that she was trying to impress and convince herself he did not need to hear.

As they walked toward an entrance that was not even the closest, she forced herself to keep talking. There were plenty of things she had questions about, so she asked them of him. The time she had spent walking in bare feet was limited to around home and it was surprisingly difficult to walk smoothly and gracefully. It was not warm enough for extended outdoor nudity, but she was not shivering. Her nipples, though, were already at max distension and the slight breeze on her newly bare crotch caused some reaction down there, as well.

When the first car drove past them to a parking spot close to a door, she almost panicked. Supposedly, a grin is not audible, but she was certain she ‘heard’ Randy grinning. Then, she remembered the three cars queued up at the entrance. “Should I wave down the other two drivers and introduce myself?” She quipped, making her best attempt at a straight face.”

She was not at all offended when he put his arm around her, not for a hug, but for support as he broke into howls of laughter. “Doc, you have just created a new Tee legend! That’s Julia still sitting in that first car. Caroline and Franklin are in the other two. NOBODY gets one up on Julia! Wow!”

By the time the other two cars pulled in, Julia was approaching her with arms out for a hug. They all chatted for a moment, then they decided Rebecca should enter Lindsey’s with just Randy.

The adrenaline high from the parking lot episode overrode any remaining fear as she was greeted by the kids. At Julia’s instructions, they were queued up into a regular gauntlet for her, but instead of intimidating, she found it heartwarming. There was no way, though, that she could miss all of the boys’ bulges. The first of the boys who had brought out the buffet the previous night exclaimed how he liked her ‘new hairdo’. The other four had to add similar comments.

By the time she had chatted for a while, dinner was served and Rebecca was feeling energized. As incredible as it seemed when she thought about it later, there had been several times already when she suddenly remembered that she was naked. That fact had become almost incidental. There were others naked for dinner. There were two naked boys serving sentences, as had become standard at Lindsey’s. Alysia and Greg were still living there and still nude. And Sophie was invited. None of the kids could remember last seeing her clothed.

After dinner, Julia pulled her aside for a chat, first handing her a laptop. “Randy told me about your minimal ‘luggage’. Because of that and your new shave, I would really like you to journal your day in as much detail as possible. If you could do that before you go to sleep tonight, I think it would still be fresh and, um, undistorted in your memory. Your account could be extremely helpful. Later, if you could record your thinking process that triggered this weekend, I would appreciate that, too.” Rebecca, of course, agreed.

“Well, you have jumped past the need for some of what I had planned,” Julia commented. “Early tomorrow morning, two husbands of Rejuve clients will be working out nude here.” She waved toward the adjacent workout area. “I would like you to be with them through the workout and breakfast. I plan to have Randy take you through every part of the complex tomorrow and introduce all of our staff. Is there anything I could add to, uh, ‘stretch you’?”

That question caught Rebecca by surprise, but the answer came to her quickly. “If there is any way I could meet with some people that are not ‘nudity insiders’, so to speak, that would help me. People who would be surprised or even shocked and upset that I was naked.”

“Hmmm. That’s aggressive, but I can see how that could be helpful to your practice. As part of some significant remodeling we have an interesting new area that we are testing. It is a meeting area where clothed and nude can meet. It is not exclusive, though. That means multiple parties can be there at the same time. Originally, we were doubtful it would ever be used, but it has been a surprise. Both Tee and Rejuve residents meet with clothed family and friends quite often. Since they know that all clothed people are invited by nude residents, the women do not seem bothered by clothed strangers. Right now, there are three groups in there, two for Rejuve women, one from the Tee. I’ll get Caroline to take you there and introduce you. The Rejuve residents and families have all met her. Oh, she was planning to talk with you later this evening, anyway.”

“But, I was just...” Rebecca’s attempted protest was met with a smirk.

As they walked, Julia explained. “There is a very complete all nude area open to residents, employees, and designated, approved visitors. There are also rooms where Rejuve wives and husbands can meet privately. For those options, everyone has to be nude. We fear this new area may keep husbands from considering nudity. We always worry that a disparity in nude experience may cause a division in the family.”

Julia waited until Caroline arrived and explained to her what she wanted. When Julia left, Caroline put her hands on her hips and said in mock anger “You just wanted to get inside to spy on us! You don’t need to get more comfortable!” She stared pointedly at Rebecca’s bare crotch.

“Honestly, I am just testing ‘fake it until you make it’. Otherwise, I would have sent Randy back without me. I’m sure not going to make any more suggestions to Julia.”

“I’m very glad you made this one,” Caroline assured her as they started walking. “Actually, one husband just stopped by to get his wife’s signature and he stayed for coffee. I think you can help the other Rejuve couple. He will do anything for his wife. I know he is stretching to cover the cost. He’ll do anything but strip, that is. As you will see, she really needs to be here. Our nutrition wizard is working with her and they are making some progress. Having her second baby seemed to knock her system off track. We see that quite often with recent mothers. The husband seems to be a genius being taken advantage of by his employers. Sound familiar? I think pretending not to know that and just telling why you are here would be the best start.”

The new area was very inviting. Roughly square, it had two entrances and five somewhat private alcoves around the center. Each alcove had couches, a low table in the center, and a discrete stack of towels. Both couples looked up as the two women walked in. Walking first to the couple who Rebecca later found out was the Tee couple, Caroline briefly introduced herself and Rebecca and told the woman she would see Rebecca tomorrow. That was a surprise to Rebecca.

After brief introductions to the other couple, Caroline took her leave. That left Rebecca to try to establish some control of the situation. “I hope I am not imposing on your time. Transformations is helping me get more comfortable with being nude among other people. That has become essential because I have become involved in projects to change the socialization ability of patients using nudity.”

“Why would that help anyone become more social?” the husband, Wilson or Will, challenged.

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude on your personal time,” Rebecca apologized. “Once I get started talking about this, I can get carried away.” Seeing no reaction from either of the others, she decided to go on. “First of all, socialization is probably not the best description. ‘Presence’ would be better.” She was watching Will without staring and could not miss the tightening of his face at hearing the word ‘presence’.

Deciding to take the chance, she turned to him and said “Oh, I see you have heard that term, maybe once too often.” His eyes narrowed at first, but he lowered his head in a defeated gesture. Turning to Kristi, the wife, she asked “Do you really want to talk about this? I interrupted your conversation.”

“I have heard that term, too. Please. I am interested. Oh, you look like you are already comfortable naked.”

Using the ‘fake it till you make it’ explanation again, Rebecca added “Talking about ideas helps me forget how much I am exposing.”

“Did you have to shave your pussy to get Transformations to help you?” Kristi asked.

“Oh, no. They would never do that.” She went on to explain her reasoning. When she mentioned how much more difficult nudity was for men, the couple held a long look between them. “If you really have the time, here is what I would like to do. First explain why ‘presence’ is so important in a career. Then I would like to talk about my first related case and my newest case. Lastly, I will explain the theory of where nudity comes in. Are you sure I won’t bore you to death?”

“Oh, no!” Kristi assured her. “Coming here was not easy for me because of the nudity. I’m afraid Will still thinks I was crazy to do it. It’s a very confusing subject. Please, talk to us.”

“OK. First of all, most human organizations are prevented from being as good as they could be by one flaw: the ones most responsible for the organization’s success seldom get control and seldom get equitable reward. Rather, the control and the rewards generally go to those who are better at what we generally call ‘politics’. Another way to say it is presence too often trumps talent.” Looking at the two, she saw complete concentration and more than a little amazement.

Being careful not to inadvertently identify either man, she described Alan’s and Drew’s cases in some detail. She covered their abilities, their frustrations, and the projects. She mentioned Alan’s health and Drew’s concern for Casey to be completely open.

When Rebecca had finished with the two cases, Will spoke up. “Dr. Worth talked about a similar case that she worked with. Why does nudity seem to make such a difference?”

After her now standard presentation on nudity and self-confidence, both Kristi and Will were quiet for a long time. Finally, Will asked “Did Dr. Worth brief you on us?” Rebecca repeated exactly all that she had been told about them. “Well, you sounded like you knew everything about my career frustration. Is the problem really that widespread?”

“Not every talented person is that bothered by the inequities,” Rebecca answered.

“Well, I am!” Will stated. “What would it take to become a project?”

That caught Rebecca by surprise and she made sure to pause before answering. Then she put things off a little. “Hasn’t Dr. Worth talked to you about this?” He nodded. “Then, why didn’t you go with her? Why decide tonight?”

He could not avoid a little smirk when he said “She didn’t display her seriousness and her belief in the program quite as well.”

“So, if she walked in here naked would you let her help you. The reason I ask is because with Kristi already here there are some advantages,” Rebecca answered.

“Tell me,” Will countered, “do your projects have some advantage over what Dr. Worth could do?” He must have seen it in her face. “You do, don’t you?”

“Well, we depend on Transformations for a lot of help. We have more experience with the ‘shocks now’ approach which has proven very effective. By we, I means myself and the Gang of Five. They are five very talented, very well off older women who do these projects because they love helping people. One of my objectives this weekend was to work on ways that we and Transformations could help each other and together handle more projects. One of Caroline’s, uh, Dr. Worth’s responsibilities is extending the reach of Transformations by working with outside groups.”

“So doing a project through you would not be like stiffing Transformations. To get you to take me on, what would I have to do?” Will asked.

After a few minutes of thought, she just blurted out “You will have to strip right now. Then, you will have to be escorted to the private rooms I understand you have for Rejuve wives and husbands. After you make love to Kristi until one of you cries Uncle, the Gang of Five will pick you up and take you to one of their big homes. For the rest of the weekend, you will have talked with so many people with your penis showing that you will hardly notice that you are naked any more. How does that sound?”

“That’s what you mean by shocks now, huh?”

“Oh, if you give me the information right now, I will make sure the children are taken care of.”

“Oh, my parents have...” Kristi managed to say before Rebecca held up her hand.

“Only after Will strips,” she insisted. Both women stared at him until he started to undress. Rebecca had noticed upon entering that Will was a large and well-built and had manly features. Only after she got a bit used to him looking at her did she wonder why he had a presence issue. As he pulled off his last garment, she could see that all of him looked definitely manly. Although he did not have a lot of muscle definition, he was definitely not overweight.

Kristi looked athletic. Even with at least thirty extra pounds, the evidence of muscles was there. Rebecca thought that a nude picture of them when Kristi left Rejuve would make a great advertising poster. She hoped neither of them saw her slight smile and the unavoidable flair of her nostrils. Will did, but it had a positive effect and his posture improved slightly.

Rebecca did not even know how to get out of the optional area, but she did have her phone. It took about fifteen minutes to work everything out - fifteen very nervous minutes for Will. He stuck it out, though, and Kristi had to fight tears the whole time. It turned out the grandparents could handle the children and getting Friday off of work was no problem for Will. The biggest issue was what Rebecca had promised from the Gang. One call to Nancy was all that required.

“So, if I had just taken my clothes off, we could have had Will in a program weeks ago, huh?” Caroline teased as she shared a snack with Rebecca at Lindsey’s.

“Oh, I think it took a while for the guilt to build up,” Rebecca disagreed. “I read him as man who internalizes a lot and acts deliberately.”

“This was deliberate?”

“He was in a situation he regretted but did not see a graceful way out of. I think after the Gang finishes with him, he will work with you very well.”

“Will he be your patient?” Caroline wondered.

“I think they are stretched for money,” Rebecca answered. “Not that I’m against a little charity, but I think you can do more for him for less financial impact. With Kristi at Rejuve, I think it would be better for them as a couple.”

“Unless he has to solve his own problem independently for his own ego,” Caroline suggested. They left the issue unresolved.

“Look, I have only gotten the ‘Shocks, Now’ started for Will. How about we do some more planning. If we do it right, you can end up in unquestioned control of his project,” Rebecca suggested.

“What do you have in mind?” Caroline deferred.

“How about this. Between Kristi and the Gang, he should be pretty well done for by around midnight. Have him sleep at whichever house the Gang has him, but get him up early and bring him back here. Have one of the girls get up to meet him early and take him to a private room so Kristi can wring him out again.

“Then, the girl will take him to Lindsey’s for breakfast. Oh, that will have to be set up, but I would think the kids are pretty good at this kind of thing by now. I will already be there because I want to meet the two guys working out. I’ll be in uniform, too.

“After a breakfast, and probably after the kids have left for school, let Will do the Rejuve tour that he never did. You may want to be there for breakfast and talk with him afterwards. Now that I think about it, it would be better if I was away from there and you are with him for breakfast.”

“Think I should strip?” Caroline asked. “I could make reference to his comment about seriousness. Could be a good icebreaker.”

“Good thought. If he does not see me again, it might be the best approach. Now, my thought is that once he leaves Kristi in a little while, he will not even know where his clothes, wallet, phone, etc. are. We will make sure they are close by, but he need not know that. So, we’ve gotten him to mid-morning tomorrow. He’s well-fucked and lots of women and teens have seen his package. What next?

“Oh, maybe he needs to put in an appearance at work. Actually, giving him some hours of normalcy before plunging him back into his project might be a good tactic. For tomorrow evening, the Marshalls’ would be an excellent event if they could handle it. Saturday could be at Lindsey’s, at my aunt’s where you visited last night, at home naked with his kids and his parents there, or some combination. Oh, the open section, too.”

“Are all the projects that complex?” Caroline wondered.

“Oh, no. You worked with Guy Marshall, so you know what I mean. Ideally, it will be mostly self-directed. I just think if it is two or three days before he can even think about anything but who is checking out his goodies right now, that will get him over his past issues. He’s a man that badly wants that career boost. He is just coming in with less preparation than Guy or Drew. None, in fact.”

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind that I turned on my recorder,” Caroline said. “This conversation has a lot to consider. I guess you know you shoot out ideas like a machine gun.”

“Recording is something I should do more of. No problem.”