Chapter 26

MIRIAM

The girl who had indirectly forced Cammie into leaving home was named Miriam. Caleb and Cammie had started eating lunch together most days, but not always. If they could get one of the small tables, they sat together. Otherwise, Caleb ate with some of his teammates and Cammie sat with Krissy and some of the Lindsey’s kids.

One day about two weeks after Caleb moved in, Cammie was sitting with him at a small table when Miriam approached them. “Cammie, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, Mir. Is there some reason Caleb has to leave?”

“Uh, well, I guess not. I, uh, wanted to apologize for causing the big fight with your mother. I just envied the nicer clothes you were wearing and asked Mom why I couldn’t have some if your mom let you? I had no idea it would cause trouble. I thought maybe the moms were finally getting some sense.”

“Maybe you know by now, Mir, but those were clothes I had begged from other girls. I kept them in my locker and changed at school.”

“It, um, didn’t seem to turn out too bad for you,” Mir said, glancing over at Caleb.

“Mir, I think maybe I can help you, but can I trust you not to tell ANYONE ANYTHING? I’m serious about this!” Miriam’s eyes widened at Cammie’s emphasis, but she nodded her head vigorously.

“Had you heard that Caleb moved out?”

“Really? I haven’t seen either of you at church, but why?”

“Caleb will have to tell you when there is time. Both Caleb and I are living at the Marshalls. You know, Krissy and Pen?”

“H ... how long?”

“They consider it permanent, until we go away to college,” Cammie answered.

“Don’t you think you can get back with your parents?” Miriam wondered.

“Look, Mir, your mother is at least nice to you. Your dad, too. Our mothers are hateful or worse,” Cammie explained.

Saying his first words since a greeting, Caleb spoke up. “My mother is much worse, Mir. I can’t tell you about it here.”

Miriam was thoughtful for a minute. Then she nodded and said “Yeah, Mom actually seems sad about the clothes, but she seems convinced my soul is in danger if my clothes show that I actually have some shape.”

Staring at her pointedly, Caleb told her “Mir, even with the camouflage I can tell that you have a very nice shape.”

Miriam gasped, blushed, and quivered a bit before stammering a ‘thank you’.

“Mir,” Cammie asked, “what would happen if you made a really strong dramatic stand on the clothes? Would they kick you out? Ground you? Disown you? What?”

“I ... they wouldn’t do anything like that. They’d sure argue, though.”

“But what if it was something they had to resolve right then?” Cammie pressed.

“Like what?”

“Like you were naked and refused to put anything on until they agreed to let you buy normal clothes,” Cammie challenged.

Miriam let out a shriek that drew a lot of attention from nearby tables and caused her to cover her face. She could not even respond with words, she just kept shaking her head.

Cammie leaned in close to her friend and talked softly but energetically. “See, Mir, the very idea horrified you. You think that being exposed to someone else is about the worst thing that could ever happen to you. You learned that from your parents, so they must feel that way. That means that if you came to dinner naked, they would have to ‘fix’ the situation immediately. If you refused to cover up, you would be in charge.

“But ... but ... Daddy! And Luke!” Miriam had a fourteen-year-old brother.

“Mir, from what I’ve seen, you get along pretty well with your dad. Secretly, you would love to be able to show yourself to him. That’s true of all daughters with good daddies. Look, I’m going to say this now and never mention it again. We can help you get comfortable being naked, but you have to ask. We will be happy to have you sit with us at lunch, but we won’t bring up the subject again.”

Miriam just stared back and forth between Cammie and Caleb for quite a while, then finished eating without saying another word. She hardly took two bites without looking over at Caleb, blushing brightly, then hurriedly moving her gaze away. She obviously understood the implications of Cammie’s offer and she was obviously hooked.

Later at dinner, Cammie had recounted the conversation with Miriam and the offer she had made.

“Sounds like we had better expand the house so we can take in all the kids fleeing that church,” Guy commented half seriously.

“I don’t think so,” Cammie countered. “She gets along too well with her parents. She would not want to leave. There are just some things ... it’s like Pastor Boortz has the women brainwashed.”

“And the fathers don’t have anything to say about it?” Guy asked.

“It’s strange, I admit,” Cammie agreed.

“Actually,” Caleb entered in “I have been thinking a lot about my situation. My father actually may not have known what she was doing to me. Thinking back, things only happened when he was either gone or there was no chance of him finding out. I don’t ever remember seeing him upstairs in the house, you know. Maybe the attitude in the church is that children are strictly the mothers’ business.”

“So, if this girl is not looking to move here, how can we help?” Ginny asked.

“I, uh, don’t really have a plan, but is it all right if she starts coming over, and can everyone stay dressed?”

“Of course, Honey. Just let us know what you need.”

“‘Course, I may have scared her off,” Cammie admitted.

Guy decided it would be a worthwhile expenditure to learn a lot more about Cammie’s former pastor.

Miriam had not been scared off. Far from it. Scared, yes, but literally aching to experience what Cammie had described. Three more times, she joined Cammie and Caleb at lunch before she stammered out “C ... can I c ... come over and see you tonight?”

“The question is, Mir, will we be able to see you - all of you?”

“But ... but I’ve never ... I thought I could ... why the first time?”

“Mir, I’m guessing you’ve been fantasizing about this since I suggested it. You’ve also been agonizing about how you would survive Caleb seeing your nipples and the hair on your crotch, and the crack in your bottom. I know because I went through it. I’m not going to let you agonize over it any more. If you come to see us, you have to agree that you will get naked right away. I promise you that you will quickly wonder why you worried about it so much. That’s the way it was for me and I know lots of other girls who say the same thing. Now, do you want to come over tonight and let us see all of you?”

It may be medically impossible to hemorrhage through one’s skin, but Miriam severely tested that theory. She was unable to speak and just nodded her head.

“Should we come and pick you up?”

“I’ll bike,” Miriam answered. “I’ve got lights and I ride everywhere. Um, when do you finish dinner?”

“Why don’t you wait until about 7:30.”

As she left her home and mounted her bike, Miriam found it almost impossible to make the first pedal stroke. It took several deep breaths before she was able to start her twelve minute journey.

When she arrived at the Marshalls’ home, she was regretting her decision to bike. While it had not been a strenuous ride, she still felt a sheen of perspiration. That was not at all reassuring to a girl about to bare herself to a male for the first time.

Thankfully, Cammie seemed to have thought ahead to Miriam’s concern, and had in fact found a way to use it. “Come with me, Mir. You’ll feel much better stripping after a quick shower.” Miriam was very grateful, but became alarmed when she was led into what was obviously the master bathroom and Cammie was pulling Caleb along with her. Seeing the completely transparent shower enclosure did not ease her concern.

Later, Miriam wondered how long it had taken Cammie to coach Caleb’s next move, but at the time the main effect was a near orgasm.

“Miriam, Cammie has let me watch her shower. I have to tell you, it is the most beautiful sight. It’s like watching a water nymph or something. Let me see you that way.”

Cammie quickly added “Really, Mir, it will be better than just standing in front of Caleb trying to keep from covering yourself with your hands.”

Miriam stood frozen for several moments before stammering “Y ... you warned me about the shock approach, but ... WOW!”

“Well, I was going to have Guy and Pen in here, too,” Cammie teased. At that, Miriam squared her shoulders for a moment before quickly stripping. It turned out she had worn only sweat pants and a t-shirt.

When she was naked, Cammie and Caleb moved to stand beside her and Cammie turned her to face a large mirror. The Marshalls’ master bath had mirrors all around. From the shower, one could see oneself from different angles. “If your home is at all like mine,” Cammie said, “you haven’t had a chance to see your own naked body. It’s not disgusting at all, is it?”

“Wow, Miriam,” Caleb exclaimed, “all your biking really shows. You are really in great shape!”

Cammie had been correct with the shock approach. From her first look at herself in the mirror, Miriam was not able to accurately replay in her mind the next half hour. She knew she had showered. She knew she had then been introduced to the Marshall family and Jess. She knew she had sat naked with all of those clothed people and told why she came over and stripped. With prompting from Cammie and Caleb, she had told many things about her mother, about her father and brother, and about the pastor’s rules.

Miriam considered Luke to be a pretty good brother, especially for a younger one. He seemed to look up to her and like her father, he treated her and her mother lovingly. Luke was what Miriam worried most about in her showdown over clothes. She had spent several evenings nude at the Marshalls’ with lots of people around, some of them nude. Exposing herself to Luke was no longer terrifying. Actually, she felt a little thrill as she thought about it. She just worried about the effect on him.

“Hey, Luke. I need to talk to you about something,” Miriam told him as she came into the family room where he was watching TV. She had timed it so the show he liked was ending. She sat on the ottoman in front of the sectional he was sprawled on.

“Luke, you know how hard I’ve been working to get Mom to let me have some normal clothes.”

“Yeah, I’ve told her it’s not fair to you, but, you know...”

“Thanks for trying. Well, I’m going to try something drastic.” With that, she told him her plan. Predictably, Luke was astounded and suddenly very uncomfortable. “Luke, I don’t want to embarrass you, but do you masturbate?”

“MIR!”

“Please, Luke. I’ve learned a lot of things that Mom and Dad don’t want us to know. I can see how hard you are, and believe me, I’m not offended. I’ve learned that it’s natural. It’s something you won’t have much control over for some years. Please, just answer me. Do you masturbate?”

He was finally able to nod his head and she told him “Good. It’s not healthy if you don’t. Go ahead and relieve yourself - maybe a couple of times. When you come back I’ll take my clothes off. I want you to get used to seeing me naked so you won’t freak out when I come to dinner that way. And I want to make sure you don’t have any wrong ideas about girls and about sex.” Luke scurried off hunched over. “Put on some sweat pants before you come back,” she hollered after him.

She had on only sweatpants and a T-shirt herself. As she took them off and stood waiting for him, she was reminded of one of several wonderful talks with Ginny and Guy. They both said they wished they had let Pen and Krissy see their bodies from the time they were little. They wished they had given them all of the information about sex they could understand all through their lives. She felt a little glow thinking that she would be doing something important for her brother. She hoped it helped him in the stress of their home life. It upset her a little to think that for most boys in their church, it was easier on them than on the girls.

Luke stopped in his tracks when he saw her standing there. She just waited him out until he approached and sat down. “H ... how can you just stand there like that?”

“Luke, you know you can’t talk about any of this, right. I mean not to any one! This is serious!”

“I know, Mir. I’ve been trying to stay invisible as much as possible. I would never do anything to draw attention. It’s the last thing I want. This ... this is so unbelievable!”

Miriam spent a while telling him about her times at the Marshalls’. Then, she started comparing and describing sexual responses in boys versus girls. Knowing she was still no expert, she kept asking questions to find out what he knew. It was distressingly little. “Luke, I hope I can help you to be more comfortable around girls. That means you can talk to them. As you may have discovered, that is the most important thing with girls, at least at first.”

By the time they had talked about menstruation and she had convinced him that girls really did have something comparable to the feeling of ejaculation, it was close enough to their parents’ possible return that she had to dress. “I don’t want to move out of the house, Luke, but some things have to change. Mom and Dad are doing it all wrong and I blame it on Pastor Boortz. It’s like he has all the moms brainwashed or hypnotized.”

Miriam decided that she should warn her mother what she would do if she was not allowed to dress more normally. This time, her plea for clothes was very specific, showing a picture of some stylish but conservatively cut name brand jeans on a very good sale. She also showed Jeanine some loose fitting shorts that would be more comfortable around the house.

“I’m sorry, Honey, but you know the church’s stance on jeans. And shorts just aren’t decent for a young lady.”

“You mean Pastor Boortz’s stance on jeans, don’t you. And what is wrong with bare legs around home? I just don’t understand it?”

“Miriam, we’ve been over and over this. We just can’t give in to the ways of the world.”

“But we live in the world! Yeah, I know ‘In the world, but not of the world’. But even Pastor Boortz admits that has nothing to do with how we look or what we eat or what we drive.

“Mom, I have had it! If I can’t even be at home in some normal clothes, I am going to start wearing nothing around the house. Let’s see if Pastor Grouch can find a verse forbidding that!”

“Miriam! Don’t talk about such things! The very idea is opening your mind to sinful thoughts!” Then Jeanine became weepy and dramatic. “Your father and your brother - how can you think of putting further temptation in front of them. After all they have to endure at work and at school, home should be free from sights that cause lustful thoughts!”

“So, you’re afraid your faithful husband and my sweet, respectful brother are going to try to rape me if they see my bare arms and legs! That’s ridiculous. I tell you, if things don’t change soon, they are going to see a lot more than that bare. They are going to see EVERYTHING! Boortz’s religion is no better than the Muslims. Women have to be hidden so they don’t ever tempt men. He’s a man, so he can just decide it’s all women’s responsibility. Men shouldn’t have to control themselves. Well, then, he’d better rip a lot of Paul’s stuff out of the New Testament!”

Jeanine was certainly not about to accept her little girl’s petulant rantings against the teachings of a saintly man like Pastor Boortz. But just a touch of fear was creeping into her mind; it was fear of losing her hold on her daughter’s purity. Of course she knew the tragedy of Cammie Nelson. The congregation prayed constantly over her shattered parents. But nothing like that could happen with her Miriam. It just couldn’t.

Twice more Miriam made the specific threat of wearing nothing around the house. She was just looking for some obvious triggering event because she was ready to make good on her threat. It amazed her that she did not feel any fear, only what she considered righteous anger. It seemed like she was more at ease nude than clothed. She had found a dozen times to bare herself for Luke, and he continued to be as supportive and grateful as could be. Everything she learned about sex, she told him. Rather than being jealous that he was learning so much earlier than she had, she was happy to spare him much of the frustration and confusion she had felt. A counsellor would later portray that as one of the sweetest examples of true sibling love she had encountered.

The triggering event was perfect. Jeanine came home from shopping and handed Miriam a package. “Some of your panties were getting pretty worn. I got you some new ones.” Miriam looked in the package and barely restrained herself from stripping right then. Her unveiling had to be when her dad and Luke were both present to have the proper effect on her mother.

She pointedly threw the bag into the trash can and stomped up to her room. She quickly stripped, but stayed there and tried to do homework while she waited to be called for supper. After her initial anger cooled, she packed a bag, but that made her angry again at how few things she was willing to wear if she had a choice. She also called and told Ginny that this was the night. Ginny promised that Pen would be ready to pick her up but she hoped it was not necessary. Luke had stopped in to see her and had guessed it was the night. She asked him to be alert for the possibility of their mother fainting at the first sight of her.

Causing her mother serious distress was honestly not something Miriam wanted to do. It just seemed that nothing but a very dramatic statement would dent her mother’s righteous certitude. But when Miriam walked into the kitchen, Jeanine was facing her and Luke made an impressive lunge to keep his mother from hitting the floor hard. Jeanine must have really gotten lightheaded because she probably would not have risked injury for the sake of drama. She never lost consciousness, though, and that allowed her to unleash the drama full force.

Nathan was too astonished to even notice his wife’s collapse. His open-mouthed stare at his nude daughter was broken when Jeanine began screaming at him and at Luke not to look at Miriam. She wailed and cried and actually flapped her arms as she scrambled to her feet. Then, she grabbed Luke by both sides of his face and forced his gaze away from Miriam as she pushed him toward the master bedroom.

“Nathan! Why are you just sitting there? Get away from her! Get to the bedroom right now! Nathan! Now!!” Finally able to look Miriam in the eye, Nathan shrugged and walked toward the bedroom.

Jeanine had pushed Luke into the master bedroom, leaving no one upstairs. Miriam hurried up to her room, phoned Pen, threw on some clothes, grabbed her bag, and walked out of the house.

When Pen picked her up less than fifteen minutes later, Miriam just laid her head back and closed her eyes. She felt disturbed, but she did not really feel guilty. She tried not to think about whether she would ever be back in her home.

Nathan Goodman was a successful investment manager at a branch of a major national bank. His life was orderly and rewarding. Of course, no one was without problems. In recent years, Jeanine’s sexual receptivity had been decreasing much faster than he thought it should. That seemed to go hand in hand with her increasing obsession with all of the rules their pastor seemed to produce.

They had belonged to Pastor Boortz’s church for many years. It was much more restrictive than the one in which he was brought up, but the rules seldom intruded on what he wanted to do and it was Jeanine’s family’s church. He knew that his daughter was very unhappy with the admittedly dowdy, unflattering clothes Jeanine forced on her in the name of proper modesty. There had been no reason for him to intervene, though. It was the kind of struggle all mothers and teens daughters had to work through, wasn’t it?

Less than a minute of staring in disbelief at his belligerently nude daughter in the kitchen had obliterated all of his feelings of contentment. Jeanine had mentioned Miriam’s threat to not wear any clothes if she could not wear normal ones. She was very upset that Miriam would even talk about doing such a thing and she lectured her properly. Of course, the idea was so ridiculous that the only threat was the impertinence of talking about it.

Well, now he knew just how ridiculous the whole idea was not. After getting Jeanine minimally settled down, he had gone out to try to scold the girl. She was gone. As he stood in her room and saw everything tidy, it struck him that they might have a serious problem. Here was a daughter that had seemed almost too perfect, as evidenced by her bedroom. Still, the one area where his wife had refused to budge had been enough to drive her to a drastic display and to leave home.

He had a good idea where she had gone, and it gave him no comfort. Of course they had talked at church with the Nelsons and the Swensons about their daughter and son leaving. At the time he had the thought ‘There but for the grace of God go I’. Some grace!

On the way back down to the bedroom, he replayed Miriam’s entrance in his mind. He had been only peripherally aware of Jeanine, but now he seemed to remember Luke scrambling to help his mother. Why would a fourteen-year-old boy not be transfixed at the unprecedented sight of his naked older sister?

Nathan got an even better idea of the scope of what had happened when he reentered the master bedroom. Jeanine was on her back on the bed with an arm over her eyes. Luke was sitting calmly on the side of the bed holding her other hand. “Luke, let your mother rest a while. I need to talk to you.”

“NO!” Jeanine screeched. “She might still be out there! He can’t look at her!”

“Honey, Miriam is gone.” Jeanine was as capable of guessing her location as he was. She just started sobbing softly as Luke joined his father.