Chapter 15

JEFF

As the normal dinner hour approached, there was no action in the kitchen. When the doorbell rang, Beth said “Please get that, Jeff.” It did not take any great insight to catch on that another part of his training was about to commence. He was not completely surprised to find Julia and Frank outside when he opened the door.

“I thought you deserved a chance to scream at the main plotter behind your horrible day,” Julia said with a twinkle in her eye. “You seem in remarkably good health, considering all of the calamity-inducing things you have done today.”

He could not help laughing. “In other words,” he retorted, “complain if you dare, huh?”

“I never doubted that you would make it easily, Jeff, especially after meeting the women in your life. Frank, go help bring dinner in, will you?” With that Julia came in and hugged all of the waiting women until she came to Celia.

“I took a chance,” Dr. Waxman,” RuthAnn admitted. “Celia was being eaten up by curiosity and she was looking for answers from some scary would-be friends.”

“Mom, they aren’t that bad,” Celia complained.

Julia put her arm around the girl and said “I’m happy to meet you, Celia. Has today been helpful for you? Has seeing your Uncle Jeff naked answered some questions you had?”

“Oh, yeah! It really has,” Celia admitted.

“I know taking advice isn’t your favorite thing at your age, Celia, but I’m going to give you some from lots and lots of experience working with people as a psychiatrist. Too much of that experience has been sad and painful. Listen to your parents’ opinions of your friends. Evaluating people is one thing we get better and better at as we age.”

Before Celia could respond, Missy walked boldly in, carrying a thermal warmer and followed by Frank who had a cooler. “One more surprise, Jeff,” Missy said with a grin. “I really am glad to see you. I was the one who pushed to get you to take a look. Now I get to enjoy a look, the first of many, I hope.”

When Jeff happened to look at Julia, she gave a dramatic shrug. “Missy defines irrepressible,” she said, feigning resignation. “She also defines why we do what we do. Wait until you hear her story.”

When you’ve had the last drop sucked out of you and four women have spent the day making you feel like some kind of a god, it is hard to react negatively to another surprise.

“I don’t know, girls. That’s stretching our familiarization program quite a ways. The intent is to use only people that he will encounter nude later, in the course of his work.”

“But this is worth an exception,” Erica pled. “Mom needs a strong man and Jeff doesn’t need another shrew. And if Jeff goes into Jennie’s unattached, those moms are going to be clawing each other’s eyes out to get at him.”

“We’ve discussed that issue in staff,” Julia admitted. “But he starts in a couple of weeks. Even if they clicked, we couldn’t truly consider them attached that soon.”

“Look, poor Mom is so horny she is ready to fuck Trevor. I’ve tried to get her to take Dozer, but that’s just too much for her,” Erica said.

“And Logan assures me that her dad’s libido has definitely woken up,” Missy chimed in.

“If we encourage them to just become fuck buddies, with no commitment, we can make it seem like they are attached. Besides, I think once they get in bed together, they’ll be goners. Mom really is a good person, once she’s gotten over what her husband made her into. And she’s so damned gorgeous it makes me cry.”

“You know, there was this timid, body-shy, innocent virgin that moved in here a while ago. I thought her name was Erica, but I must be mistaken,” Julia joked. “Seriously, do you expect Jeff to go for a ‘fuck-buddy’ deal. I rate him as a deeper person than that.”

“Shit!” the two girls said almost together. “Well, then,” Erica pressed, “at least give a possible connection a chance. Let me and Mom go to a dinner.”

“OK. That much I can go along with. Since I seem to be the director of ‘Exceptions R Us’, why not one more. Actually, you two make a good point about a possible match. They could be just what the other needs. Is there no possibility of Logan’s parents reconciling?”

“She says not. She admits she would love to see it, but she does not believe her mother deserves Jeff,” Missy explained.

“That’s sad, but I can understand it,” Julia told them. “I had better talk with Mona. I’ll make up a reason for you two being at a dinner.”

“It will work, Julia. You’ll see! I’ll finally get a dad I can be proud of,” Erica boasted.

“Honey, you’ve barely met the man.”

“Missy has told me everything about him, and so has Logan. He sounds too good to be true.”

“But he doesn’t make a lot of money,” Julia pointed out.

“Look, after Randy practiced shaving her, Mom said she would give up fancy clothes, fancy cars, nice restaurants, and everything else for the rest of her life if she could be touched like that every day. Julia, she wasn’t just saying that. She was ready to marry Randy, for God’s sake. Mom has a whole new set of priorities, now.”

“Hmmm.” Was Julia’s only response.

“Mona, if you went to a dinner at someone’s house with about eight people and one of the men was naked, would you be able to talk with him?” Julia asked.

Mona’s mouth worked wordlessly while she waited for Julia to admit that it was a joke. Then, she listened as Julia explained the familiarization program that Jeff was going through.”

“I had no idea,” was what Mona was finally able to say.

“I know you didn’t, and that’s why I wanted to talk to you. Usually, the only people at these dinners are staff. I want to try something different this time. You live on the grounds and I’m sure you can keep a secret.”

“Oh, I would never tell anything. You have all been so wonderful to me. This man, is he ... I mean, what is he like?”

“Erica knows all about him. I’ll let her tell you. Can you act like it’s no big deal? Can you act normal around him?”

“Julia, I don’t know what normal is any more. It’s like my world has been turned upside down. I’ll just try to be myself. I’m all done pretending. If he’s a hunk, I’ll probably drool and be speechless.”

“Oh, I doubt that, but being yourself is all I can ask for. Oh, he can definitely make you drool.” A shared giggle left Mona in a happy mood.

It was the fifth dinner that Jeff had hosted naked at his mother’s house. Beth had tried to insist on cooking, but Julia would not hear of it. Most of the management and a good percentage of the staff had been there, since there were usually eight to ten invited. Of course, Jeff never knew who was invited.

Somehow, Logan managed to be at every dinner. The custody agreement certainly did not provide for that, but Jeff was starting to wonder if maybe Carrie was as helpless in the face of the girl’s will as he was.

No way could he be against his daughter’s presence, though. Her obvious pride in him made all of the guests smile and many commented on it. His feelings about her presence were tested though on the final evening.

“Dad, meet Erica McCann and her mother Mona,” Logan said with what he detected as forced cheerfulness. Because he was still learning who was on staff and what they did, Jeff shook Mona’s hand and asked his usual “What do you do at Transformations?”

When she totally froze up, he guessed that some other plan was afoot, and he was not very happy about it. Logan could tell his feelings, of course, but she held strong. “Erica was at Lindsey’s for a while. It led to her family breaking up, and now she and Mona and Erica’s brother Trevor live in an apartment on the grounds.”

At least they weren’t complete outsiders. The poor woman was actually trembling a little, and his natural courtesy took over. He used the lighthearted approach to try to ease Mona’s distress. “Mona, where would you rank this among your most unusual social events?”

Mona just stared at him, but as their eyes were locked, something rather scary happened. From near panic, he saw her expression change to surprise, then to gratitude, then to all-out worship, just like that. The girls were watching closely, and one of them let out a small gasp.

Mona broke the eye contact and looked down, blushing. “Guess I’m not very sophisticated, am I? Um, not very subtle, either.”

With a quick, angry glance at Logan, which she did not shrink from, Jeff said “Welcome to dinner, Mona. Perhaps we can talk later. Welcome to you, also, Erica.”

“Did we screw up?” Erica asked Logan frantically as Jeff went to greet some other people. Mona was standing like a statue, but she moaned “He’s angry. We shouldn’t have done this.”

“I can handle Daddy,” Logan said confidently. “He thinks things out and he’ll see that we did it for good reasons.”

During dinner and conversation, Jeff exchanged a few words with Mona and he bid her goodbye when she left, but that was all of the contact they had. As soon as everyone else was gone, Logan motioned Beth and RuthAnn to the kitchen, led Jeff to the couch, and straddled his lap.

Looking worriedly over her shoulder toward the kitchen, Jeff protested “Honey, you shouldn’t...”

“Daddy, you need to listen to me. I know you don’t like to be bossed around, but when you think about this, you’ll see I’m right. When you start your job, you need to have a girlfriend. Otherwise, those young moms will be too distracted trying to get your attention to accomplish anything.”

His eyes widened as he looked into hers, but she was not done. “Mona is so gorgeous the moms will assume they don’t have a chance against her and they can concentrate on learning and getting their lives together.”

“Did you come up with that all by yourself?”

“Uh, no. Daddy, you must realize that everything that is happening to you has been heavily discussed, argued about, and planned out.”

Heaving a sigh, he nodded. “I guess I knew that. I also know it’s not like with your mother. Um, Sweetie, this is making me pretty uncomfortable.”

“But I’m not done yet, Daddy. I’ve gotten to know Mona a little. She’s a grown woman with three children, but I feel like I’m older than she is.”

“Sometimes, My Dear, I think you are older than any woman alive.”

“Daddy! Oh, I guess that was kind of a compliment, wasn’t it. You know, I learned a lot of stuff I didn’t want to know while you and Mom were falling apart. I got to know and love my Daddy more than I can say. I think I got to understand you, too.

“You and Mona would be a great match. With your help, she could be the awesome woman she should be. With her, you would have a woman who was just thrilled to have you just as you are.”

“And you know this because...? Do I see Dr. Waxman’s hand in this?”

“Don’t be upset with Julia. Like you said, she’s scary smart, and she cares about her people an awful lot,” Logan said firmly. “Daddy, if you don’t find a sexual partner soon, I’ll be your partner.”

“LOGAN! Don’t even talk that way.”

“Oh, come on. Every teenaged girl with a nice daddy has those fantasies. And I’ll bet every father with a sexy teenaged daughter has fantasies, too.” Then, she let loose with one of her giggles that always made him feel boneless. “I can tell you have those fantasies.” Part of him was not boneless.

“Honey, that woman, Mona, it was like she fell in love with me just from looking in my eyes.”

“I can understand that, Daddy.”

“You’re not helping!” he complained. Then with a chuckle “But you’re going to have to stay right there for a little while - AND NO WIGGLING!”

“Mona is hungry for real love. I don’t think she has ever had it. She’s also as horny as I am. With one good look at all of you, then you spoke nicely to her, how could she not fall in love?”

“What’s her story, anyway?” he asked.

“She can tell you on your first date.”

“Date? When am I...?”

“Truth time, Daddy. Didn’t it twitch a little when you first saw her. I think I saw it.”

“Logan, we shouldn’t be talking like this.”

“Should too. You’re naked, for good reason. I love your penis. I watch it whenever I can. It’s a part of our life, now, so why shouldn’t we talk about it. Erica told me something neat she heard. She said women like naked men because they have a neat interest meter.”

“OK! OK! Uh, maybe talking about Mona is safer,” he conceded. “Of course she’s beautiful. Any man would be affected. Right now, Baby, I’m not very confident that I can make a woman happy.”

“You saw her eyes, Daddy. She wants you. Ask her out. Please?”

“I don’t have much money for wining and dining, as you know.”

“Daddy, listen! She wants you, she wants some respect, she wants tenderness, she wants someone who cares about her feelings. She’s had all the fancy stuff, and you know what? She’s happier now in their little apartment without most of the stuff she once had. Just do something inexpensive but focused on her. I know the perfect thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Take her to bed.”

That was too much. He smacked her on her bottom the best he could with her facing him. She made an exaggerated shriek and jumped off his lap. She stared right at his half-inflated organ until he took another swat at her. Then, she scooted away, giggling for all she was worth.

Before he could implement his intent to flee down the hall, RuthAnn’s noticeably heavier body had replaced Logan’s straddling his lap. She took his face in both hands and kissed him tenderly. “You must know by now, Jeff, that all of your women love you and want the best for you. We have instincts about these things that are better than yours.”

“I can’t afford a ring, yet,” he quipped, intending it as sarcasm.

“With your new salary, I’m sure you can get credit.”

“RuthAnn! That was a joke!”

“Not to me. It isn’t right for you not to be making some woman deliriously happy.”

When both his daughter and his sister left, his mother asked him to stay a little longer. “Should I dress?” He knew that she was the least comfortable with the nudity.

“No, please don’t. L ... let’s sit on the couch.” Suddenly, he had his mother on his naked lap. She did not straddle him as the others had, but it was still an unnerving experience.

Going way back with RuthAnn and recently with Logan, there had been lots of flirting and sexual innuendo. With Beth, there had been nothing like that. It wasn’t his mother’s way.

“I’m not really a prude, Honey” was the first thing she said.

“Did I make you feel that way?”

“Oh, no! You can’t believe how thrilled I was to be included in your preparation.”

“I guess like most people, I always thought it would be hardest to expose myself to those closest to me,” he told her. “Julia always insists that that is backwards. Now, I agree completely. If we can’t be open with those closest, are we really close to anyone at all?”

“Things were just so different when I grew up,” Beth explained. “In our house, any sexual connotation got the same punishment as cursing.”

“Well, thanks for adapting and helping me out, Mom. Having these dinners here is much better.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure, Hon, believe me. It’s hard to explain the pride a mother feels in her naked, grown son’s body. I guess if he’s not in great shape like you are, it might be different. Sometimes when I look at you, I can hardly breathe,” she confessed.

He could not think of any appropriate words, so he just hugged her. “I thought that when your dad died, I just declared my sex life done and I would go on and be happy with other things. With your beautiful penis waving around, I’m having to change my mind.”

“Sorry to disrupt your orderly life, Mom. Got any good candidates?”

“Um, that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve got a date Saturday night. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind? I’m delighted! I hope it’s just the first of many. RuthAnn know?”

“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”

“You mean all these years, all I had to do to get the scoop on my sister was to take my pants off?”

Beth had always felt like she was a step behind the humor between her children - and her husband when he was alive. She must have been working on it, though. “Just imagine what you could have gotten by with,” she quipped.

As they laughed, he hugged her even closer and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“It’s Martin.”

“Martin? You’ve been going to dinner and plays and things with him for a couple of years, now, haven’t you? So, what did you mean ... Ohhhh! Wow!”

He was at first stunned, then tears sprang to his eyes. “Mom, can you imagine how honored I feel that you would tell when you are about to take a man to bed?”

“Only if you can imagine how it thrills me to see my son’s naked body. Your dad had a good-size penis, too. I guess you inherited from him. Would you believe I never saw my father’s, or any of my brothers’ once they were grown?”

“Will this be the first time since Dad?”

“Uh, huh. I’m not thinking of marriage, or anything, but after these last two weeks, I can’t see why I should deny myself. If I can still entice a man, why shouldn’t I enjoy him?”

“Oh, you can still entice just fine, Mom. This is wonderful news. Uh, if I keep my pants off a few more times, can I tell RuthAnn. It will be the coup of a lifetime over her.” They laughed and hugged for a few more minutes.

With her voice betraying her nervousness, Beth brought up another subject. “I ... I heard the girls talking to you about Mona.”

“Are you siding with them?”

“Why does it have to be taking sides? Honest, Honey, we’re really all on your side. Please, don’t think we’re being like Carrie, trying to run everything in your life. She did it for Carrie. We want the best for you.”

Letting out his breath, he turned his head and kissed her. “I shouldn’t react that way, I know. The scars are so deep, though. I’ll make sure the girls know I’m not upset.” Referring to aunt and niece as ‘the girls’ had become common. It did not include Celia.