Forum: Story Ideas

Phone calls from my wife

PotomacBob 🚫

We have a landline telephone that displays, if available, the name of the person calling. A few days ago, it displayed the first and last name of my wife, so I answered it.
"This is Microsoft and you haven't been returning our calls," a voice that sounded automated announced. I hung up.
Since then, we've received several phone calls per day. My wife answered one of them (I guess wondering why she might be calling herself) and the computer-sounding voice said "your IP address has been compromised. Please hit one to connect you to customer service." She hung up.
I have no intention of writing a story about these phone calls, but I'm posting it in this forum in case anybody else would like to use it. Or comment on it.

Ernest Bywater 🚫

I found if you attach a fax machine to the line and let it answer these calls they usually stop quickly as the computer making the call recognizes the fax machine response and then deletes the number as not being a valid normal voice line.

Replies: Jim S

Jim S 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

Another strategy is not saying anything when you pick up the phone. If the line stays dead for 5 seconds or so, I hang up. If it's a human on the other end, they'll generally say something after 3 seconds or so. Robocalls, however, appear to key on a voice on the call before entering their spiel. If the robocall starts, I hang up. My only exception is automated calls from a doctor's office confirming an appointment. Otherwise, trashed.

Replies: Ernest Bywater

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@Jim S

Another strategy is not saying anything when you pick up the phone.

I live in rural New South Wales, Australia with my adult son. In the previous house we rented he used to always answer the phone by saying "Hello," in Japanese with a good Japanese accent. Real life tele-callers didn't know how to handle that as when they replied he'd continue talking Japanese. I found it quite funny, but that was several years ago before the rob-callers got real busy down here.

Today we have few problems with tele-callers as the ringer on the phone on the landline is turned off because it's only used for the ADSL broadband connection as we both use our cell phones for actual phone calls. The only reason the line has a phone is because it'll still work if a power failure takes out the nearby cell tower, thus we can still call out if we need to.

Replies: Remus2

Remus2 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

Real life tele-callers didn't know how to handle that as when they replied he'd continue talking Japanese.

My wife is a polyglot. I let her handle that sort of thing. She'll answer in one of eight languages, If someone starts talking, she'll mix her reply in multiple languages. She'll do the same thing when someone pisses her off. Sometimes I do that deliberately just to hear her go off like that.

Replies: StarFleet Carl

StarFleet Carl 🚫
Updated:

@Remus2

She'll answer in one of eight languages, If someone starts talking, she'll mix her reply in multiple languages.

I'm not a polyglot, but I know how to say Hello and a few phrases in 7 different languages. Of course, the one that usually gets a live caller to hang up is when they actually come on, you say, "Thank you for calling the Department of Justice telemarketer fraud line. All of our agents are currently busy handling complaints at this time. Please hold and the next available agent will take your information."

Or you could do this: Revenge

Replies: anim8ed karactr

anim8ed 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Or you could do this: Revenge

That left me laughing my ass off.

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@anim8ed

Here's my favorite:

This happened when I was in my early 20's and still living at home with my parents. My parent's had 2 line business style phones. My older brother was having debt problems at the time.

I answered the phone and heard a computerized/recorded voice, "Please hold for an important phone call", so I put the phone on hold and walked away from it. The line was open for a good 20 minutes. :)

karactr 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

OMG!! So f***ing hilarious!

Darian Wolfe 🚫

We only have a landline for emergency use as well. So I have the ringer turned off. lol

REP 🚫

I have a Call Blocker and when we get a telemarketer phone call, we block the number. But they use multiple phone numbers so we keep getting calls.

The robo call that I laugh at the most, I get on both my home number and cell phone. The call is someone speaking to me in what sounds like Chinese.

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Forum: Story Ideas

Phone calls from my wife

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