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E Must Be Joking

awnlee jawking

In today's paper there's a story about a woman who bought an emu egg on eBay. She carefully nurtured it in an incubator for seven weeks until it hatched.

Although she had done nothing illegal, the RSPCA swooped in and confiscated the chick on the basis that she might be unable to look after it sometime in the future. Thought police or what!

At last to the point. An expert said about keeping emus: "Problems can also occur as they mature, as they may see their owner as their sexual partner."
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4161926/Mother-forced-hand-emu-raised-herself.html

Anyone fancy writing a sex story about a girl and her emu?

AJ

aubie56

@awnlee jawking

That sounds hilarious!

Joe_Bondi_Beach

@awnlee jawking

Anyone fancy writing a sex story about a girl and her emu?


Emu turns out to be straight. Sadness and frustration ensue.

bb

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son

@Joe_Bondi_Beach

Emu turns out to be straight.


Especially since the emu was female.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde

@Dominions Son

Especially since the emu was female.


Female Emus fight each other to get the male. It's the male, btw, that incubates the eggs and tends to them.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son

@Switch Blayde

Female Emus fight each other to get the male. It's the male, btw, that incubates the eggs and tends to them.


Female emu
Female owner

An expert said about keeping emus: "Problems can also occur as they mature, as they may see their owner as their sexual partner."


Not in this case.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde

@Dominions Son

as they may see their owner as their sexual partner."

Not in this case.


That was my point. The owner would be a competitor. Both females.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son

@Switch Blayde

That was my point. The owner would be a competitor. Both females.


Go re-read awnlee jawking's original post and then come back and explain why that's relevant.

Replies:   Bondi Beach
Bondi Beach

@Dominions Son

@Switch Blayde
That was my point. The owner would be a competitor. Both females.

Go re-read awnlee jawking's original post and then come back and explain why that's relevant.


Because there's a male penguin waiting to get in on the action, of course. The OP conveniently forgot to mention that.

bb

richardshagrin

The male penguin is going to need a ladder, or maybe access to a loading dock. Penguins are short, emu and human female are much taller. Getting tab a into slots b are going to be challenging. Or is that sluts b?

Replies:   Bondi Beach
Bondi Beach

@richardshagrin

The male penguin is going to need a ladder, or maybe access to a loading dock. Penguins are short, emu and human female are much taller.


My money is on the penguin. And the horny females. This *is* an SOL story, right?

bb

Crumbly Writer

@awnlee jawking

Anyone fancy writing a sex story about a girl and her emu?

It's not just a problem with emus, as the problem occurs often with domestic dogs and cats. With only so many contacts, they don't always remember who they're supposedly related to (out of a litter of 5 to 12).

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Crumbly Writer

You want a sex story about a girl and a dog!!!

;)

AJ

richardshagrin

@awnlee jawking

You want a sex story about a girl and a dog!!!

Better than a girl and a penguin.

Crumbly Writer

@awnlee jawking

You want a sex story about a girl and a dog!!!

Of course not! A girl and her twelve litter-mates. ;)

Replies:   Crumbly Writer
Crumbly Writer

@Crumbly Writer

Of course not! A girl and her twelve litter-mates. ;)

That just sends chills up my spine.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@Crumbly Writer

You don't like the idea of a puppy pile? ;)

AJ

Replies:   REP
REP
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

Not sure I would want to be a father if each pregnancy yielded 12 children. A total of 2 or 3 are bad enough. :)

quick edit to claify

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking

@REP

How many pregnancies would you tolerate with 2/3 offspring each time? ;)

AJ

Replies:   REP  Capt. Zapp  sejintenej
REP

@awnlee jawking

would you tolerate with 2/3 offspring each time? ;)


Total = one child per pregnancy for a total of 2 or 3 kids.

Capt. Zapp

@awnlee jawking

How many pregnancies would you tolerate with 2/3 offspring each time? ;)


All of them. :D

sejintenej

@awnlee jawking

How many pregnancies would you tolerate with 2/3 offspring each time? ;)

3 pregnancies giving 2 whole children? I hope you get all the right bits ;)

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