The Clitorides' Final Results are in [ Dismiss ]
Home ยป Forum ยป Lost Stories

Forum: Lost Stories

looking for a story

BloodRedRoses ๐Ÿšซ

do you know if there is story that involves a girl/woman that can see past events and uses her power to solve crimes and things like that i don't really want a story that has a shit ton of sex i want a story story any help would be good thanks for reading.

Oyster ๐Ÿšซ

Volentrin's "The Gift" has elements of what you are looking for, but it is a male MC and it's more about his adventures than solving crimes.
https://storiesonline.net/a/Volentrin/2
(3 stories/books in the universe: The Gift, The Gift Book 2 and Remote Viewing)
Don't think I've seen/read any stories here with that specific premise.

Replies:   BloodRedRoses
BloodRedRoses ๐Ÿšซ

@Oyster

i liked that book but its not what im looking for sadly i dont think there are any on this site

Best Empire Builder ๐Ÿšซ

But I would like to read it also. Darn it!

Vincent Berg ๐Ÿšซ

It sounds a little like "Minority Report". However, rather than solving crimes, I'd prefer a larger-context movie featuring someone trying to prevent future events (like the end of the world) from taking place, without knowing exactly how it happens and unable to convince anyone of what he knows.

Replies:   samuelmichaels
samuelmichaels ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Vincent Berg

I'd prefer a larger-context movie featuring someone trying to prevent future events (like the end of the world) from taking place, without knowing exactly how it happens and unable to convince anyone of what he knows.

Well, in Woodward Academy (in progress at The Mystic Wolf Pub), the protagonist can see some serious disaster looming, but he has no details. He does eventually get others believing him (clairvoyance is a recognized talent) but with the lack of details it's a bit of a problem in preparing for it.

The classic story, is, of course, Cassandra of Illiad, Agamemnon, and Aeneid.

awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@BloodRedRoses

Perhaps this post should be moved to the 'Story Ideas' Category.

FWIW, I wrote a large chunk of story in which a boy in his late teens invented a device which could view the recent past. He went on to set up a crime-solving agency, run by his older sister with the help of her University Law Professor and a senior cop.

Advance readers were quite sanguine about the underlying bogus science, but were unconvinced by the Damascene conversion of the cop from cynic through agnosticism to convert over a period of a few hours. There was also the usual problem with fictional cops - if they're senior enough to make decisions, they're too senior to actually do any investigating and vice versa.

In principle it would be easy to swap the genders of the protagonists.

If that gives any authors inspiration, please run with it.

AJ

BloodRedRoses ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

i put it on the story idea page hopefully someone will give it a shot

Best Empire Builder ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

have you posted your story yet? Because I would really like to read about crime solving with a time machine.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Best Empire Builder

Although I really enjoyed writing what I have so far, the story has too many problems for me to complete and share it. One problem is that real-life friends have read certain scenes, and the plot is distinctive enough for them to recognise it if I were to complete the story and post it on eg SOL. Also, the original starting scene, with the device working for the first time, leads to incest, a scene I definitely don't want real-life friends to read.

AJ

Replies:   Vincent Berg
Vincent Berg ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

Also, the original starting scene, with the device working for the first time, leads to incest, a scene I definitely don't want real-life friends to read.

I sometimes offer separate versions for SOL and FS (only a couple of times, though), so that's an option. Simply give your friends and family the 'clean' version, rather than the explicit version.

Trust me, I'm not you'll ever be satisfied with how someone else handles your story, as you'll always see it written differently and heading in different directions.

That said, I've abandoned several stories which just didn't seem to work out for whatever reasons.

Vincent Berg ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

Advance readers were quite sanguine about the underlying bogus science, but were unconvinced by the Damascene conversion of the cop from cynic through agnosticism to convert over a period of a few hours. There was also the usual problem with fictional cops - if they're senior enough to make decisions, they're too senior to actually do any investigating and vice versa.

It should be fairly easy to have a lieutenant assign detectives to investigate the kid's claims. Once they have, confirming his information, the lieutenant could then act on the information. It also shouldn't be hard to extend the detectives skepticism for a couple cases ("Ya just got lucky, kid. Don't think it proves anything!")

The more difficult problem would be getting the cops to take such claims (I can tell you who did it) seriously without something to substantiate his claim (something psychics face all the time, though a few have managed it--mostly when the police are desperate for leads to stale investigations).

A fun alternative would be to have the kid (I'm assuming he's young) tell the kids he knows who did it, only to be chased out of the office. He later phones the cops about a lead, and when they show up, he's already captured the criminal with the evidence (following a bumbling confrontation), though it'll be difficult to keep it realistic given the tendency of non-cops to screw up evidence (and not to know the difference).

Magical devices are difficult without a somewhat realistic rational for how it works. If it's alien, then you'll need to explain how the protagonist came across it, and the explanation of either needs to be decent, as the entire story rests on readers accepting it.

Instead of a device, I'd go with a newly blossomed psychic ability. It's the easiest to deal with. If he only has partial visions, leaving him unsure of the details, ratchets up the tension. After that, he'll have the duplicate challenges of hiding his secret, and figuring out where the abilities come from, and what it ultimately means (throw in govt. agents, spies or bad guy syndicates however you desire).

If you don't fell comfortable writing it, then consider what I've said, and see whether a suitable plot alternative will build over time. Chances are, you'll think of a suitable resolution in a fairly short time.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Vincent Berg

Magical devices are difficult without a somewhat realistic rational for how it works.

People who have read extracts so far have made no complaints about the plausible-sounding but bogus underlying science :)

AJ

Replies:   Vincent Berg
Vincent Berg ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

People who have read extracts so far have made no complaints about the plausible-sounding but bogus underlying science :)

Sorry, I'd thought you'd listed that as a complaint among your beta readers. I was simply reinforcing that a story's central premise needs to handled carefully, lest readers reject the book because they don't buy the central premise.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Vincent Berg

I'm not sure 'beta readers' is the right term since they were only exposed to specific extracts. The cop was the biggest bugbear, plus not having the complete story to read ;)

AJ

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

but were unconvinced by the Damascene conversion of the cop from cynic through agnosticism to convert over a period of a few hours.

Here is another idea as to handle this.

Start the cop, in a senior position (maybe captain) and already agnostic at the start of the story, on the edge of being ready to believe. Give him some background. He's been on the force for years. He's seen a few things that can't be explained.

Then give him a push over the edge. A still living victim to rescue. A deadline, a fixed time in which to rescue the victim before the victim dies. They've run out of leads, the case is at a stand still and he's desperate enough to try anything, even a psychic.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

In my version, the senior cop is the brother of the mother of a kidnapped little girl. The Law Professor cons her way into the family's home in order to offer the team's help, and the cop is hiding in another room, listening in, with the intention of arresting her for fraud.

Nevertheless the Prof gets enough information for the siblings to track down the kidnappers, find the girl and convert the cop into a de facto member of the team.

AJ

Replies:   Vincent Berg
Vincent Berg ๐Ÿšซ

@awnlee jawking

The Law Professor cons her way into the family's home in order to offer the team's help, and the cop is hiding in another room, listening in, with the intention of arresting her for fraud.

Nevertheless the Prof gets enough information for the siblings to track down the kidnappers, find the girl and convert the cop into a de facto member of the team.

Yeah, I can see problems with that, as it's clearly illegal and would almost guarantee any conviction would be thrown out of court (meaning no justice or punishment (except monetary) for the criminal.

awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Vincent Berg

One of those cases where writing what's entertaining trumps strict accuracy.

AJ

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Vincent Berg

I can see problems with that, as it's clearly illegal and would almost guarantee any conviction would be thrown out of court (meaning no justice or punishment (except monetary) for the criminal.

Sure, however, stranger kidnappings are rare but when they do happen, a lot of times following the advice of the police ends up with the victim getting killed.

If you were in this situation, would you prefer to have the kidnapper end up in jail, or have your child back alive even if that means the kidnapper goes free?

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

Do you guys actually give on a storyline cause the science is fake?

No, but as a reader, if a science fiction or science fantasy story isn't internally consistent with it's fictional super science, it tends to ruin the story.

redlion75 ๐Ÿšซ

Do you guys actually give on a storyline cause the science is fake?good thing Verne, broker,and Roddenberry didn't do that

Replies:   Wheezer
Wheezer ๐Ÿšซ

@redlion75

Do you guys actually give on a storyline cause the science is fake?

That would eliminate a huge number of science fiction stories. I'm more annoyed by bad science. As an example, I quit one story halfway through after the author repeatedly had ships with damaged FTL drives limping home on the sub-light engines (clearly described as travelling below light speed) a distance of several light years in just a few months. The same author also did not seem to know the relationship between meters & kilometers.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@Wheezer

I quit one story halfway through after the author repeatedly had ships with damaged FTL drives limping home on the sub-light engines (clearly described as travelling below light speed) a distance of several light years in just a few months.

That's the sort of thing I was referring to when I said internal inconsistencies can kill a story.

Replies:   Wheezer
Wheezer ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

That's the sort of thing I was referring to when I said internal inconsistencies can kill a story.

"internal inconsistencies" is too polite a phrase for how I would describe it.

helmut_meukel ๐Ÿšซ

@BloodRedRoses

Hmmm,
how about Anne McCaffrey's Pegasus trilogy?
Ok, clairvoyance is only one of the talents in these stories about the Talents of Earth and in the later books (The Rowan, ...) it's mostly about telepathy, telekinese and teleporting.

HM.

Replies:   richardshagrin
richardshagrin ๐Ÿšซ

@helmut_meukel

telepathy, telekinese and teleporting.

Telephone, Telegraph, and tell a woman.

awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@BloodRedRoses

If you're still looking, might I humbly suggest you try one of mine, The McKenzie Case.

AJ

Franco ๐Ÿšซ

Asimov wrote a series of stories around the concept of 'smart glass' (I think that's what it was called). Glass that could store images from recent events and could be used to solve crimes and other problems.

Back to Top

Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.