Forum: Story Discussion and Feedback

Could be. To be honest, i'm looking for stories where an mc 'evolves', could be a physical change, emotional change, it depends so long as the story is good.

Stories or erotica where the mc has a 'big' dick and 'eternal' hard-on often goes downhill after a few chapters.

Stories or erotica where the mc has a 'big' dick and 'eternal' hard-on often goes downhill after a few chapters

I don't know of any that start high enough to go downhill. On the otherhand, they dig their way down past the root cellar to the subway. And all the girls are subs. Submissive, not submarines. I don't want to offend anyone, but the though of submissive Marines seems like one of those oxymorons.

is it, Whatever It Costs?

I can't deal with parenthood as it deals with cheating wives.

I've been reading many stories of that in a week last week so i'm taking a break from cheating wives stories, most of em are for stroke value anyways.

I can easily write, its just i don't know how to start it.

I've tried my hand at high-fantasy novels that are focused on action but i couldn't seem to start it right. I guess my problem is the execution part.

I've accepted this as a sign that i'm more suited to be a reader than a writer.

I tried my hand at writing, but it seems to me like i have so many ideas i want to write and i don't have any long term plans, its like every new chapter i wrote was recently written with little edits so the further i am in the story the more edits i make and i post them.

I started out on royalroadl and ended up here.

At the beginning, of course ... (hahaha)

Oh sure. He asks how and you tell him where. You are so helpful.

If it's a joke, your comment is mildly funny.

:)

I can easily write, its just i don't know how to start it.

Open a dictionary and use a pin to find a random word.
Write that word down; it is the first word in a story of a thousand words (to misquote Mao Tse Tung)

You have started; now weave thoughts around that word - logical words, historical words, sci fi words, romantic words, anything - it doesn't matter

I can easily write, its just i don't know how to start it.

I've tried my hand at high-fantasy novels that are focused on action but i couldn't seem to start it right. I guess my problem is the execution part.

I've accepted this as a sign that i'm more suited to be a reader than a writer.

It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out! (Feel free to take over from there.)

It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out!

When my six-year-old daughter relinquished control of my mind, I realised she had just made me kill my own wife. And my wife hadn't even been cheating on me!

AJ

When my six-year-old daughter relinquished control of my mind, I realised she had just made me kill my own wife. And my wife hadn't even been cheating on me!

I backed away as her body began to melt.

While there was still time, I mind-melt my recently deceased Vulcan wife. Perhaps the two of us together could resist our daughter's mind-control.

I muttered, to my wife's melded mind, "That was highly illogical of you, to melt into butter. I don't know if we'll last another year, till her first Pon-Far. Who knew a Vulcon-Betazoid hybrid would be so much trouble."

It was a dark and stormy night.

Oh fuck. I must have been so pissed last night knocking back akvavit and beer with Helge and Sverre like it was going out of fashion. How in tarnation can anyone use that phrase in a story? What was I thinking about?

It was the last day of their two week holiday and we had covered the best of the Jotunheimen; today they with Babill, Sverre's tiny girlfriend, have to take the train back to university and I have to get back to the Jotunheimen to pick up a new party. That's going to be tough - a hundred and seventy miles, three big climbs and I have to be there by noon tomorrow.

A half-decent author (certainly not me) can make something of the worst of phrases!

It was a stark and dormy night, as they huddled in the college housing common room on the third night of the blizzard. All were upset because it was a Friday night and they were stuck in the dorm ......

There's a start for you.

Aha, the clash of cymbals, the thud of the big base drum, the screech of the violins and the Maestro strikes again!

That's why I gave up writing decades ago

Aha, the clash of cymbals, the thud of the big base drum, the screech of the violins and the Maestro strikes again!

You need a saxophone in the orchestra so the story will have sax and violins.

You need a saxophone in the orchestra so the story will have sax and violins.

And it needs to take place on top of a giant television, so you will have sax and violins on TV. :)

Both of you two need to be severely beaten... :^P

Just beware of the sax-appeal.

And it needs to take place on top of a giant television, so you will have sax and violins on TV. :)

And you could have a follow-up about young people in China. That would allow you do discuss the topic of Youth in Asia.
;p

And you could have a follow-up about young people in China. That would allow you do discuss the topic of Youth in Asia.

And commercials with a Firestone shop offering bags of hard candy to to customers, so people can prepare for re-tire mints.

Was it raining?

25°C below, 4 or 5 metres of snow! Anyways that was what he wrote (and regretted)), not what he had to face

There are probably exceptions but mind control stories that i read are written purely for stroke value.

MC stories are very interesting if done right but the problem i have with that is that after the protag goes slaving pretty girls/popular girls he has to save the world.

I think I would have enjoyed reading this story.

This sounds like an interesting premise with the person finding the device getting caught in a feedback loop.

That's very good to hear.

Just a question though, will there be a situation wherein he uses the ability to be financially stable or more than stable? That would be interesting.

Didn't mind-control drugs feature in a time-travel western you recently uploaded?

They were used by the kidnappers but failed. In fact the MC turned their systems against them before being shipped back in time. He then went on to destroy their people in that time period.

Anyone know a lighthearted story about child rearing of a single father, could be teen or teen-adult or middle aged, so long as he is a single father, i would prefer the mother died.

You might want to make this a new post so it attracts attention instead of being buried deep in another topic.

I try not to post more new posts as i don't want to be seen as a spammer.

I try not to post more new posts as i don't want to be seen as a spammer.

You are more likely to be seen as a spammer by thread bombing off topic requests.

I try not to post more new posts as i don't want to be seen as a spammer.

So, instead you hijack an existing thread.

I have 3 accounts altogether due to the 16 story limits.

You can already guess which accounts they are.

You get premier membership by submitting your own story?

There's gotta be more to it though, or people would just submit various spams as stories for the membership.

The story description is pretty accurate. Computer/chess nerd grows into an adult. Ladies love him because he is a nice guy and good in the sack. It is a harem story, but done well. 2nd-tier girls move out of the story after a time, in a natural way, so that after a few years there aren't a couple dozen characters that you don't remember and don't care about (why I abandoned a similar story). Excellent take on something that has been done a number of times. Well worth your time.

What makes the main character unique? Is there a story or is it almost all about sex?

The authors tagline for AWLL1 is "The life and loves of a young man from high school through college." In that time the hero supposedly has sex with some seventy-five women / girls.

It's supposed to be about three and a half million words, and there's plenty of room for all those girls and a lot of non-sex encounters too.

AWLL1 ends not with college graduation but about six months later, after he has founded his own business, married and honeymooned.

There is now a sequel, AWLL 2, which starts with his return from honeymoon and entering the business world full time. Don't mix them up, but the only thing that will do to you is confuse you.

A lot of the drive in AWLL1 is "Who will Steve marry?" Unsurprisingly this is not a mystery in AWLL2.

Try it and see.

Unique is a bit of a stretch, but among the things that make the main character uncommon, especially in this type of story, are that he plays no sports, is not supernaturally gifted athletically nor intellectually nor in his jockeys. While there is a good deal of sex, it is fairly well done, and there is plenty of room left for an actual story and organic character development.

Do you mean why does it, or why doesn't it, have such a high score? I think 9.1 is a bit lower than it deserves, but with over 5,000 votes, it is still a heck of a score to achieve.
The author is a good writer and storyteller who does a lot of research for accuracy.
Good points: well written, believable dialogue and situations, characters you get involved with, and a very entertaining story.
Bad points, possibly wrapped up a bit too fast and neatly, but it hardly detracts from the enjoyment of it.
Sorry, no spoilers, why not just read it and stop if you don't like the way it is going.

Heck forget the darn score. The question is simple: "Do you like the story enough to read it?"

Scores and everything else serves only to help narrow the number of available choices down to a small number. Otherwise for any given genre or codes you will have potentially hundreds of available stories. Don't worry about why one story has higher scores than you would have thought appropriate. Either read it or not, that is your option.