Forum: Story Discussion and Feedback

I really can't stand Tami as a character, I started not liking her around half way threw the first book. I say no for David and Tami getting together, I find her overall character annoying and frustrating to read and that is saying something because this is a really great story. Almost in the same class as rlfj story A Fresh Start.

My Top 6 girls are

1) Beth Anderson
2) Tracy Dole (I'm surprised I have her in 2nd place but I really like her character, especially if she gets her shit together)
3) Suzanne
4) Cassidy
5) Sandy Range
6) Missy Stone

Homonyms:
reign: what a monarch does, ruling a country.
rain: the wet stuff that falls from the sky not frozen. If frozen, hail or snow.
rein: the leather straps that control a horse.

I suspect Mr. Younger has free rein to pick up ideas. He controls the ideas and guides them with reins.

I hope I didn't rain on anyone's parade.

Why should stupid boy marry?

Because he's stupid?

Why should stupid boy marry?

Because he's stupid?

Sounds like the reason I got married. LOL

Agreed. As much as I love the overall story, I find David aka the main character, the weakest part of the story. The most damming reason is the amount of shit he takes from the various characters in these books and forgives them almost straight away.

Tami, Tracy, the ad agency folks to name just a few, have shit on the guy repeatedly yet he just keeps going back for more. I really wish the author will give the guy some balls and a backbone at some stage.

I really wish the author will give the guy some balls and a backbone at some stage.

And we're back to my original post in this thread, and one point in particular.

It would appear the consensus is that it's OK for the main character to shit all over everyone, do stupid things repeatedly never learning from his mistakes & basically just be a brain dead tool. Everyone else is expected to forgive & forget because he's a great bloke, even though he carries on like a total and utter wanker.

But if other people behave like real people ie do stupid stuff he should write them off straight away, cut off his nose to spite his face, never to forgive or forget & get replacements for them.

It could be, just a wild arse theory, that the reason he does have so many true friends is because he's not a total dick.

The fact is that while he does give people a second chance they have to re-earn his trust (and if they screw up again he might give them yet another chance but he doesn't forget & they no longer have his full support or confidence).

And like in real like, the more important to him someone is then the more he will try to understand their actions.

If they do something wrong, but it's not intentional then he's prepared to give them another chance. If their hurt full actions were intentional then he's not so accommodating.

Interesting point and maybe I'm forgetting some part of the story but for the life of me, I cant remember who has David shit all over?

David had repeatedly looked out for his family, friends and team mates and more than gone beyond the call of duty for them every time.

Then we have characters like Tracy who has not only taken a gigantic crap on the guy multiple times and in public but he then allows to waltz back into his life like nothing has happened.

I get him staying friends with her to a small degree but allowing her so much access to his life and business ventures is just nuts. They problem I have with David as a character is hes ment to be a teenager but is written like a very wise almost Yoda level adult for the most part.

Interesting point and maybe I'm forgetting some part of the story but for the life of me, I cant remember who has David shit all over?

No one.

However I'd read a couple of stories where the central character is meant to be a wonderful person, yet carries on like spoilt child.

And yet it appears from your comments that's what is expected. Being strong appears to require a slash and burn response to any transgression- real or even just perceived. Not responding that way is considered weak.

I get him staying friends with her to a small degree but allowing her so much access to his life and business ventures is just nuts.

Each time she's screwed up, he's distanced himself further from her.

Personally, I would have cut all ties after the first time. But David isn't me or you- he's him.

They problem I have with David as a character is hes ment to be a teenager but is written like a very wise almost Yoda level adult for the most part.

That's the thing with stories such as these.

Do you want a story about your normal average kid? One that acts just like a normal average kid?

There have a been a few stories where the kid behaves pretty much like normal kids, and people respond even more frustrated than you are with David. "How can they be so stupid? Why do they keep doing dumb things? Why did they do that? Anyone would know that would lead to trouble!" That's just it, normal kids do normal kid things which tend to be stupid. If they're lucky the results aren't too painful or fatal.

Remember the beginning of the very first story? David was a normal kid, trying out booze & drugs. And someone nearly died, and he got deep in the crap & went to his Uncle's farm to get sorted out. And then buried in the avalanche and had given up hope of rescue.

Things like that change people. He could have become a PTSD nutcase/arsehole, luckily he became stronger for it. David has been through & survived & recovered from some crap that most people, let alone a teenager, never have to deal with.

So as a result he isn't the type to just write someone off because they make a mistake or 2- he once wasn't any better than them, and he knows it.

I just find it odd that people consider such a response as weak. Dealing with the stupidity & neuroses of others in an adult manner takes a lot of strength & patience.

Here. Here.

Very well put. I personally love that David wears his emotions on his sleeve. It is why he is willing to give second and even third chances. He got them from his family and friends and that summer on the farm straightened him out quick, fast and in a hurry.

He realizes cutting people off is not healthy because what if the shoe was on the other foot. For David, it was on the other foot.

It is a great story and I find myself often giving a gift to myself of going back and reading all about that Stupid Boy.

he's not a total dick.

No, he's a David.

It would appear the consensus is that it's OK for the main character to shit all over everyone,

ALL COMMENTS EXCLUDE CONTRIBUTORS (unless you know better)
Not that it is OK but he is like so many real life erks

do stupid things repeatedly never learning from his mistakes & basically just be a brain dead tool.

and how many people like that have you come across in all your years? Not abnormal

Everyone else is expected to forgive & forget because he's a great bloke, even though he carries on like a total and utter wanker

just like real life wankers expect real life other people to behave.

just like real life wankers expect real life other people to behave.

Yeah, but who wants to read real life stories, particularly when it comes to sex stories?

Yeah, but who wants to read real life stories, particularly when it comes to sex stories?

If my sex life was a in print, it would be a leaflet.

If my sex life was a in print, it would be a leaflet.

Mine wouldn't even be a paragraph.

Yeah, but who wants to read real life stories, particularly when it comes to sex stories?

Even stories without sex.

I read for entertainment. If I want to be depressed, I watch the news.

Many years ago there was a TV series where poor white trash were living in a marina with lots of nice toys & some money to throw around.

One of the comedy shows of the time decided to make fun of them with their own take, a couple of normal people at home one evening.

The scene; A couple in the lounge room, him reading the paper, her watching the TV with the sound down while doing some knitting.

Her "How was your day?"

Him "Good. Yours?"

Her "Not bad. Did some cleaning and shopping."

Him "That's nice."

5 minutes long and that was pretty much the dialogue. The point being that most normal everyday people are pretty boring- there isn't one crisis after another to keep people amused.

And it's that way with stories- most people & their lives just wouldn't make a good story.

So you either have someone who's exceptional in one or more ways and follow their journey through life. Or someone who's basically normal, and put them in an abnormal situation & see how they cope & what develops from that.

Name from the past. Before her, Jack Parr, and before him, Steve Allen. They don't feature programs and people like that any more, which I guess is why I don't bother with TV any more.

Carol had a small comedy troop including Harvey Corman. My spell check doesn't like that name, I better go look him up on line, and recover the names of the other Carol Burnett players.

You young farts, go play somewhere else, your old farts are remembering better days.

In addition to Carol Burnett, the cast consisted of:
Vicki Lawrence
Harvey Korman (seasons 1-10)
Lyle Waggoner (seasons 1-7)
Tim Conway (seasons 9-11; frequent guest performer in seasons 1-8)
Dick Van Dyke (first half of season 11)

My memory maybe mostly gone, but Bing will save the day.

My Top 6 Girls (as of the end of Sophomore Year and excluding Tami):

4) Cassidy - my secret dark horse for David

It seems to me that authors have a thing about girls and the fighting arts. Here we have Cassidy who can out do the Green Berets, then there's Lisa who can give a good wallop when she's not shooting them, Asuka who puts down the best of the Queen's SAS troops....
Where does one find these women in real life?

Many are working out at or instructing at dojos - some are in the military, and some are competitors in the mixed martial arts pro circuit.

Unfortunately, most of them would probably never give a 'regular guy' a first glance, much less a second.

Or working as stunt performers - see Jessie Graff, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJBvNXoHG9A

the one you need to watch out for is the cute young thing sitting on a barstool looking demure and innocent.

The only reason I am ever in a bar is because I am there to work. If the 'cute young thing' has to be drunk to like you or vice-versa, they aren't worth picking up. And, IMNSHO, if they think they can find something good in a bar, they are in for a big disappointment.

Has nothing to do with the Bible but with what I see happening in bars all the time. Judgemental? yeah, probably, at least as far as drinking goes. I admit, I have seen some decent bars and some decent people in bars, but I still say that if you need to drink in order to find someone, then your judgement is already going to be clouded by the alcohol.

'The more I drink, the better he/she looks.'
'The more I drink, the smarter he/she sounds.'
'Even an ugly person looks good at closing time'
(morning after)'this is NOT the person I came home with'

There are certain acronyms that are common on nearly all web forums.

IMHO in my honest opinon

AFIK a far as I know

IIRC if I recall correctly.

IANL I am not a lawyer

I understood IMHO to be "in my humble opinion."

I understood IMHO to be "in my humble opinion."

There was never any humility on bulletin boards, and incredible amounts of bullshit, and that moved over the net.

It's been "Honest" since I can remember, to indicate that (at least this time) they're not spewing rubbish to wind people up or misdirect them.

I understood IMHO to be "in my humble opinion."

There was never any humility on bulletin boards, and incredible amounts of bullshit, and that moved over the net.

It's been "Honest" since I can remember, to indicate that (at least this time) they're not spewing rubbish to wind people up or misdirect them.

and it has been "humble" for as long as I remember (only going back to the eighties so I'm a newcomer).

I use the "humble" version realising that I don't know everything and that some better educated person may prove me wrong.

If I had used In My Honest Opinion and you argued then I would consider that you are calling me a liar and honour must be regained.....

For those tempted to think the 'h' usually stands for honest, IMNSHO becomes nonsensical.

And it was to me until it was mentioned that people now replace the Honest with Humble.

Many acronyms have changed meaning over the years, looks like that's the case with this one too.

VHS actually stood for Vertical Helical Scanning, but I can't remember the last time I saw it mentioned correctly. Now it's often said to stand for Video Home System.
DVD was Digital Video Disc, but as it became used for other things it was renamed Digital Versatile Disc.

Many acronyms have changed meaning over the years

Not just acronyms, but regular words as well. But let's not go there.

IMNSHO

Sorry, That one's not as common as IMHO, but it relates.

In My Not So Humble Opinion

If the user interprets H as honest, is the user saying that they sometimes state dishonest opinions and they want the reader to understand that this time they are being truthful.

Yep.
That's the usage i'm familiar with, although it's not so much they're usually dishonest as they're usually spouting rubbish.

If you look at the definitions of an acronym, you will often find multiple meanings, since the meanings seem to evolve with time and the way a specific group of people use the acronym.

That's the wonderful thing about standards; there are so many of them, let alone all the different interpretations of each one.

If the user interprets H as honest, is the user saying that they sometimes state dishonest opinions and they want the reader to understand that this time they are being truthful.

If the user interprets H as humble, is the user saying that they are usually an arrogant SOB?

I doubt it. They are more likely trying to put your mind at ease before they say something that some may not like or agree with.

So it really should be NO,B: No offense, but...

If someone ever says "no offense, but..." you can be certain that the next thing out of their mouth will be offensive.

no offense but they can tackle all day so they might make the play-offs this year :)

I don't know how I missed this before.

I am offended that you think that they might make the play-offs this year. :P

In my humble opinion, used appropriately, is a rhetorical device. It's usually ironic, where the speaker (or writer) signals that his opinion is, in fact, not at all humble. Context is key.

One reason i dont buy actual books anymore...the stories last a day or two...because i cant put it down

I've got many books that are almost worn out from the number of times I've re-read them.
Good stories are worth reading more than once.