I'm starting this thread in the hopes the discussion on this topic in another thread will drift here instead. The following are my thoughts on the subject. But before I get started I'm discussing stories where the sex scenes are not the centre of the story the way they are in most stroke stories, and similar type stories where the core of plot is the sex or the purpose of the story is the sex scenes.
For most fiction stories every scene included in the story is supposed to present or advance one or more of the following:
1. Plot or sub-plot,
2. Character or character aspect or character development.
If the scene doesn't fulfil one of those needs in then becomes a gratuitous scene which can be easily skipped over or removed.
Sex can be used in a scene to fulfil a number of those aspects, with the most common being to show something about one of the characters.
If the aim of a scene involving sex is to show something in the post sex activities or discussion, then there is no need to provide a graphic description of the sex activities that's not directly relevant to the post sex discussion etc. the author can easily do a cut to black type description and then move onto what they want the scene to provide after the sex.
The problem with sex scenes in a lot of stories at SoL, but not all of them, is some authors stick in gratuitous sex scenes because they feel they have to have sex scenes to post a story at Sol. Thus they look for creative ways to include a sex scenes in the story to try and make it fit better.
SoL is a story site that accepts sex stories, and there is no need to have sex in the story, nor should there be sex in a story if it doesn't fit any of the needs of moving the story along, unless it's a stroke type story - in which case it still fits the need of moving the story along.