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Se;f-aware characters

gflail ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

Any thoughts on characters briefly demonstrating self-awareness? For example

"What's got into you today, Leslie?" I said.

"Never mix, never worry!" she replied.

"Watch that shit," I said.

"Huh? Watch what shit?"

"That 'Never mix' shit," I explained. "That's not yours, you read or saw that somewhere."

"I ... h-how did you know?" she asked.

"Doesn't matter. I'm just saying you should be careful."

I pulled up to the curb and shut the engine blah blah blah back to the story.

Is this just stupid or the kiss of death or out of my league or ? Thanks! Oh, this is erotic fiction BTW If you got turned on, that's why.

Replies:   Dominions Son  REP  Honey_Moon
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@gflail

Any thoughts on characters briefly demonstrating self-awareness?

Why is this necessary. I presume that you are intending an animal with human level intelligence and awareness.

My advice would be to start with how you would write any human character, and then sprinkle in elements of animalistic thinking.

For example, a canine character thinks/speaks in terms of:

Pack instead of family.
Females = bitches in a casual non-insulting way.

Behaviors:

Suddenly sees, chases small prey animal.

REP ๐Ÿšซ

@gflail

I feel that characters that don't stop occasionally and think about the motivation behind their actions to generally be false.

Stereo-typed people do exist in the real world. The dumb jock image is just an image. The person is a thinking human being, although I have to admit some don't seem to think very deeply. I can visualize a jock saying "What did I do to deserve that?" They may need to have someone tell them what they did wrong; but realizing they may be at fault is self awareness.

Mushroom ๐Ÿšซ

This makes me think of reading a story where Deadpool is the main character, and breaks the fourth wall.

Deadpool: Hey, you, yes you. I see you guy, masturbating as you read this story. Well stop it, I find it distracting me from my fantasy involving Cable, Colossus, and a 5 gallon bucket of Crisco (tm). So knock that shit off and jack-off on your own time, this is my time buddy.

Replies:   Bondi Beach
Bondi Beach ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Mushroom

Deadpool: Hey, you, yes you. I see you guy, masturbating as you read this story. Well stop it, I find it distracting me from my fantasy involving Cable, Colossus, and a 5 gallon bucket of Crisco (tm). So knock that shit off and jack-off on your own time, this is my time buddy.

Exactly. Although if Deadpool would like to tell us a little more about the vat of Crisco I'd like to hear it.

~ JBB

Honey_Moon ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@gflail

I pulled up to the curb and shut the engine blah blah blah back to the story.

Do you mean breaking the forth wall, Or having it switch into having a character narrating the story?

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