Could I get someone to take a quick glance at my latest story "A Husband's Love" including tags and my blog entry and then tell me if I presented it wrong or in a misleading way? I'm already getting upset people and it was just posted 3 1/2 hours ago. Thanks
Edit: I accidentally published this request under my user name instead of my pen name so I redid it. My bad.
Edit: I accidentally published this request under my user name instead of my pen name so I redid it. My bad.
I was in the middle of replying when you deleted the original.
I think there are two tags that are questionable.
For the Slavery tag, I would expect a full time Master/Slave relationship, but that's clearly not the case.
For the RAAC tag: The Husband is determine to reconcile, but he also seems determined to make his wife pay a steep price for it. This is a bit outside the mold described by the people who originally advocated the addition of the RAAC tag. On top of this, they never actually get the chance to fully reconcile.
The final scene, What The Fuck!?
Thank you and I'm sorry about the timing issue. I'll remove the RAAC tag. The ending sets up a major part of The Learning Together series. That wreck is the defining moment that makes the series possible. The series revolves around The wife and daughter meeting a special young man and their relationship with him ten years after the wreck.
John is mentioned so many times in the story that I thought he deserves his own slice. It's meant to highlight what he went through for Meghan and their daughter.
The redhead even re-appears in Learning Together 3.
Meghan was his full time slave/wife, but was driven to her behaviour by causes revealed in LT3. John didn't understand the cause and knew beating her every five minutes wouldn't do anything to help. She was so screwed up that sometimes the only way he could get her attention was by punishing her.
He wasn't going to allow her to treat their daughter the way she treated him.
Thank you for the look see. I appreciate it.
That's part of the character's problem. I guess I should say that John never abdicated his position. He was completely stymied on how to fix her issues, though he tried.
That's part of the character's problem. I guess I should say that John never abdicated his position.
But a reader can't tell from the story itself that that is the case. It comes off to me as more occasional BDSM scene play than a full time master/slave deal.
I think I shot myself in the foot by thinking (for whatever reason) that the readers would already be familiar with the Learning Together series.
So do you think I should remove the tag? My concern is if I do someone will see what is then the story and then be mad I didn't tag it.
I think I shot myself in the foot by thinking (for whatever reason) that the readers would already be familiar with the Learning Together series
If you explicitly make it a prequel..
My concern is if I do someone will see what is then the story and then be mad I didn't tag it.
Taking that one story in isolation, as is, I don't think you need to worry about readers getting mad about it not being tag as slavery. As I said, that level of full time BDSM relationship simply doesn't come out in the story.
So do you think I should remove the tag?
Given what you've said, not necessarily. It's a fairly short story. Given your stated intent as to the nature of their relationship, perhaps the correct answer would be to expand the story a bit to make the nature of their relationship from before she started cheating clearer.
The tags were sufficient enough that I didn't read the story. That's not good or bad, just some of them are not my cuppa.
Thank you, That's what I was aiming for. Sufficient info posted so readers could self-screen if neccesary.
I'm already getting upset people and it was just posted 3 1/2 hours ago.
Readers seem to be a bit weird lately, I have noticed.
Oh, and their plot retention is remarkably poor is well. You have to be careful mixing plots between stories as the vocal majority won't notice unless you use big neon lights and a bloke with a hammer to knock it into them.
the vocal majority won't notice unless you use big neon lights and a bloke with a hammer to knock it into them.
Which conjures an image of a bloke hammering big neon lights into those making groundless complaints...
Do you have him under contract or is he available for hire?
(I'm totally ignoring the fact than neon lights are not hammer friendly)
Do neon signs work on vampires? Since you are asking, do you have a vampire problem?
:)
Vampires were not a consideration, the meat of my post focussed on other matters. I'm not sure what your beef is, but I don't have a steak in it, so bite me..!!
:)
ps
How do vampires practise social distancing?
