Forum: Author Hangout

I'm reading a story that is driving me crazy because I believe the author is trying to avoid dialogue tags (e.g., he said) and, by doing so, is making the story difficult to read. For example, the opening sentence/paragraph in a chapter is:

"So, you two are spending the night?" Sue looked over the dining table at Ralph and Debbie.

The "Sue looked over the dining table at Ralph and Debbie" should come before the dialogue. First, you would know who is talking. But also because Sue probably looked at Ralph and Debbie before asking the question.

This isn't a one-off in the story. It is done almost 100% of the time when using action to replace the dialogue tag. For example, a few paragraphs later has:

"I'm afraid Bonnie's right." Gary wanted to intervene before the siblings went at each other's throats. "You should apologize to everyone at this table."

The reader is jolted. Dialogue from a character (Gary) who hadn't been part of the coversation. It should be:

Gary wanted to intervene before the siblings went at each other's throats. "I'm afraid Bonnie's right. You should apologize to everyone at this table."

I hope this post helps at least one author.

Dialogue tag? Do you mean the introductory phrase that identifies the speaker and provides other narrative details about the dialogue.

The thing is, this is not a new technique, as it was used in most of the earliest tales. The reason why it's not recognized, is that no one reads those older tales. As they were fairly routine. The only reason why it's so disturbing now is that we've all gotten so used to reading overly simplistic sentences, that we've lost track of the older writings (i.e. we need to read more ancient tales, and fewer newer tales, like the ancient Greek and ancient Roman tales, as no one ever read much ancient Egyptian fiction).

The key here is that you alternate a line or lines of dialogue with either physical actions or emotional actions, which identify the speaker. Thus the order makes no difference, as most us can remember the an earlier action or apply the context to the later one.

It's the linkage that matters, not the order, unless your memory is that poor, which I seriously doubt.

I've read a couple of stories recently where the person named after the dialogue usually wasn't the speaker. It took serious detective work to uncover who was saying what to whom.

I read stories here for entertainment. In my opinion, keep it simple and use the damn dialogue tags.

And shoot all 'writing experts' who tell writers to eliminate dialogue tags, 'of', adverbs etc.

AJ