Forum: Author Hangout

And you thought thriller writers made this stuff up

Bondi Beach 🚫

No. They just copied police reports.

From a SF Bay Area police blotter:

"Vandalism - 1120 Arlington Blvd (Arlington Park):
At 2244 hours, Officers were dispatched to four males with flashlights and shovels who were digging in the park. Officers arrived in the area and the males fled the area on foot. Officers located one subject, a 33 year old male from Sacramento in the park. Officers searched the area and located a 25 year old male from Vallejo and a 31 year old male from Sacramento nearby. The two males both had mud on their shoes and clothing but claimed they were in the area for other reasons. Wants and warrants check revealed one of the males was sex offender registrant and on parole. One of the males admitted he and his friends were digging in the park because someone they meet at the Casino stated they had buried 50k taken in a robbery in the park. Because of the damage to the park, the subjects were taken into custody. The group was booked and all subjects were released on citations. "

Emphasis added.

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Replies: Ernest Bywater Switch Blayde Grant

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@Bondi Beach

sounds like the plot for a funny movie, but then, this is a Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Replies: Vincent Berg shinerdrinker

Vincent Berg 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

sounds like the plot for a funny movie, but then, this is a Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Great movie. Wish we had more like it nowadays (though the acting was WAY over the top!)

Replies: Ernest Bywater

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@Vincent Berg

though the acting was WAY over the top!)

It was deliberate as it was a satire.

Replies: Vincent Berg

Vincent Berg 🚫
Updated:

@Ernest Bywater

It was deliberate as it was a satire.

Understood, but even in the 60s, I hated Jerry Lewis and never understood why he was as popular as he was for so long in America (and later France). Then again, I've never liked Jim Carrey either, so it's probably just a personal issue for me.

Replies: Ernest Bywater Wheezer REP

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@Vincent Berg

Jerry Lewis

The early Jerry Lewis stuff was OK, but when he got famous and started directing himself or producing his own films, it went downhill very fast. I mostly put it down to him the fact he started writing his own staff at the same time, instead of using a script writer. He had good delivery when given a good script but could do stand up if his life depended on it. A lot of his fame came from the way he played off Dean Martin.

Wheezer 🚫

@Vincent Berg

Understood, but even in the 60s, I hated Jerry Lewis and never understood why he was as popular as he was for so long in America (and later France). Then again, I've never liked Jim Carrey either, so it's probably just a personal issue for me.

Agree with you about Lewis. The French are just weird. Mimes - need I say more? As for Carrey, I find him tolerable only if the film's director keeps him on a very short leash and muzzled.

Replies: Ernest Bywater

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@Wheezer

Mimes - need I say more?

That's what we need to do, is elect mimes to government positions, then they'd say a damn sight less.

Replies: Vincent Berg

Vincent Berg 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

That's what we need to do, is elect mimes to government positions, then they'd say a damn sight less.

Speaking of which, why don't we have more mime stories on SOL? After all, there's definitely a groundswell of support for the idea. ;D

REP 🚫

@Vincent Berg

I hated Jerry Lewis and never understood why he was as popular

I suspect his charity work may have contributed to his popularity. I have often wondered how much of his effort in his telethons was for the kids and how much was publicity.

shinerdrinker 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

Whenever I see Jim Backus on television, I don't see Thurston Howell III or even Mr. Magoo, I see a hungover airplane owner Mr. Fitzgerald crying out that "he cahn't see!"

And also Johnathan Winters realizing that while trying to think of something that starts with a "W", he needs to "work" on "where" it is.

Movie just brings great memories for me. One of the many movies I remember laughing outloud to every single time I watch. From the Jimmy Durante "Kicking" the bucket to Ethel Merman slipping on a banana peel. And don't forget... everything in between.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Bondi Beach

Not just thrillers. I read an article today about a man on an airplane. He was told he could sit in any empty seat. He happened to take a middle seat and declined the offer to sit in a better seat.

When the flight attendant came by with the drink cart she saw his hand on the crotch of the 13-yo girl sitting next to him and a single tear running down the girl's cheek. He had fondled her for 1/2 an hour.

Grant 🚫

A lot of his fame came from the way he played off Dean Martin.

The only movies of his that I enjoyed were the ones with Dean Martin, they worked very well together. As for the mystery of why the French go gaga over him, no idea.
They are French after all.

Then again, I've never liked Jim Carrey either

He was great in The Pet Detective, and very good in Liar Liar. They both made use of his strengths.
He was also very good in The Truman Show. But that was the beginning & end of it.

Actors that I find irritating are Richard Gere & Val Kilmer.
However Willow is a great film & Kilmer plays the part well.
And Richard Gere- once I saw an interview with him by Michael Parkinson, and on that show was Dame Edna Everage. Very few people know just how to take Dame Edna. Richard Gere just played it dead straight, and it was probably one the best Parkinson shows ever. Very, very funny. As an actor he still annoys me, but I don't consider him such a tool as I once did. As a person he actually comes across as OK.

Replies: Bondi Beach

Bondi Beach 🚫

@Grant

Very few people know just how to take Dame Edna.

If you're not laughing, you're missing the point, that's for sure (unless it's one-on-one and you're Richard Gere, I guess). Saw "her" in Sydney live once. Definitely a treat. And not many like "her."

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Replies: Grant

Grant 🚫
Updated:

@Bondi Beach

Definitely a treat. And not many like "her."

I think one of my favourite Dame Edna lines was along the lines of "It's so nice of General Motors to let us call Holden our own".

EDIT- I remember an interview of Barry Crocker and part of it was about the Barry McKenzie movie, back when Dame Edna was still Mrs Everage.

He said that during a break while shooting the movie he and Barry Humphries went for a wander around, both still in full character costume.

They checked out a few shops & stalls, and the whole time they were away from the set Barry Humphries was Mrs Everage.

Even during breaks on set, until the makeup came off, he was Mrs Everage.

demonmaster62 🚫

Jim Carrey- His best stuff was all on "In Living Color"

Carrey, David Allen Greer, and Damon wayons, were the pure geniuses on that show, and sadly once they all left, they each sucked big time in various ways.

Johnathan Winters- a genius that just HAD to be from another planet, and I don't mean Ork, he was just so "out there" no one could touch him. Anybody that could consistently steal the scenes from Robin Williams had to be a genius!

Jerry Lewis- Meh.

Of course I never found The Marx Brothers all that funny either (except for Harpo)

I was more of a Laurel and Hardy type guy.

Abbot and Costello-The "Who's On First" Routine will always rank in the top of all time comedy routines.

Special mention to Andy Griffith for the "It was Football..." routine is killer, just killer.

Grant 🚫

@Bondi Beach

No. They just copied police reports.

From a SF Bay Area police blotter:

You reckon that's bad?

A Texas man has been charged with causing the death of his six-month-old daughter by leaving her in a hot car and then putting her in a refrigerator, a document has revealed.

Michael Thedford, 33, was arrested in Collin County, outside of Dallas, on Tuesday.

He was charged with manslaughter and released on bond. No lawyer was listed for him in online jail records.

According to a probable cause affidavit released on Wednesday, he dropped off his two other children, aged three and five, at daycare but forgot about his baby daughter in the back of the car.

He went into his home and fell asleep.

His wife was at work at the time of the incident, according to police.

Some four hours later, he discovered his daughter strapped into her car safety seat.

He took her out, placed her in a refrigerator "for an undetermined amount of time", and called 911, the affidavit said.

He later placed the infant on the kitchen floor and attempted CPR on the baby before emergency responders arrived, it said.

He said his daughter was stiff and "hot as a brick" when he found her in the vehicle, the affidavit said.

The outdoor temperature at the time was about 32 degrees Celsius.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-06-23/man-puts-baby-in-fridge-after-leaving-her-in-hot-car/7535892

Replies: Vincent Berg Bondi Beach

Vincent Berg 🚫

@Grant

He said his daughter was stiff and "hot as a brick" when he found her in the vehicle, the affidavit said.

And you thought super powered space aliens were hard to swallow!

Bondi Beach 🚫

@Grant

Grant 6/22/2016, 4:55:38 PM

@Bondi Beach
No. They just copied police reports.

From a SF Bay Area police blotter:
You reckon that's bad?

A Texas man has been charged with causing the death of his six-month-old daughter by leaving her in a hot car and then putting her in a refrigerator, a document has revealed.

https://storiesonline.net/s/59887/this-day-started-so-perfectly

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Grant 🚫
Updated:

Pork and chicken have featured on the menu of overnight incidents for emergency services' personnel in Darwin.

A 21-year-old woman has been fined for hitting ambulance officers after throwing a pork chop at them.

Duty Superintendent Kylie Proctor said the ambulance stopped to assist the woman, who was sitting in the middle of the road on Darwin's Daly Street about 4:40am.

"During their efforts to move her off the road and out of harm's way, she has thrown a pork chop at them, hitting one officer in the face and the other on the arm," Superintendent Proctor said.

The woman has been fined $472.

In a separate incident, police were called to a Darwin fast food chicken restaurant on Thursday night about 10:00pm.

"Two males had become enraged they could not buy food because the store was closing," Superintendent Proctor said.

The men "started throwing chairs around and demanding food," she added.

Both were arrested for disorderly behaviour in a public place.

Superintendent Proctor described it as "just one of those nights" for police in the Top End.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-06-24/woman-fined-for-throwing-pork-chop-in-darwin/7539702?section=nt

Replies: sejintenej

sejintenej 🚫
Updated:

@Grant

Referring to a court case on February 13, 1996 the Fortean Times reported:

God was sent down for nine months in San Rafael, California for indecently exposing himself. God, 68, legally changed his name to Ubiquitous Perpetuity God in his search for "women, gold and God". A psychiatrist said "God is simply too sick to be out on the streets"

A very large well known US oil company placed a job advert in the London (UK) Evening Standard:

"(name of company) welcomes sex with all suitably disabled people regardless of size of bank balance".

From the apology some days later it came out that someone in the advertising agency was responsible for messing up what should have been a respectable and acceptable advert

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@sejintenej

From the apology some days later it came out that someone in the advertising agency was responsible for messing up what should have been a respectable and acceptable advert

What the fuck was it supposed to say that would make that explainable as a mistake as opposed to deliberate sabotage?

Replies: Bondi Beach

Bondi Beach 🚫

@Dominions Son

What the fuck was it supposed to say that would make that explainable as a mistake as opposed to deliberate sabotage?

Cranky ad writer; practical joke that should have been substituted; outright sabotage.

Apparently it should have said something along these lines:

"We welcome applications from all people, regardless of sexuality, disability, age, race or gender, with the aim of creating an environment of respect and support, enabling everyone to achieve their best."

Dunno what happened to the bank balance bit.

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Grant 🚫
Updated:

'Enraged' son dobs dad in for 'torching cannabis plants'

An irate man has called police to complain that his father destroyed his cannabis plants during a domestic dispute in the Northern Territory.

Police were called to a property at Humpty Doo, south-east of Darwin, about 6:30pm Tuesday.

Duty Superintendent Louise Jorgensen said no charges were laid or anticipated because any evidence of a drug stash had been destroyed.

"Things came to a head yesterday evening and the father allegedly threw all of his son's cannabis plants onto the bonfire and completely destroyed them," Duty Superintendent Jorgensen said.

"This enraged the son, he called us and told us everything basically."

Police said officers arrived at the property and could only shake their heads while the son gathered up his remaining property and left to stay with relatives.

"The evidence has been destroyed as has the son's reputation... people don't usually come forward to say their drug stash has been destroyed or stolen but there you go," the police woman said.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-07-06/'enraged'-son-dobs-dad-in-for-'torching-cannabis-plants'/7572304?section=nt

Replies: Dominions Son

Dominions Son 🚫

@Grant

"The evidence has been destroyed as has the son's reputation... people don't usually come forward to say their drug stash has been destroyed or stolen but there you go," the police woman said.

You would be surprised at how many people call the police because someone stole their illegal drugs. Stories like that make the news in the US 3-4 times a year, and the ones that make the news are probably just the tip of the iceberg.

These nitwits do get prosecuted in the US, because the 911 (US emergency number) call, which is recorded, is admissible in court as a voluntary confession.

Replies: Grant

Grant 🚫

@Dominions Son

You would be surprised at how many people call the police because someone stole their illegal drugs. Stories like that make the news in the US 3-4 times a year, and the ones that make the news are probably just the tip of the iceberg.

These people are the perfect argument for birth control.
*shakes head in wonder*

Replies: madnige

madnige 🚫

@Grant

These people are the perfect argument for birth control.

These people are the perfect argument for retroactive birth control.

Dicrostonyx 🚫
Updated:

Back around 2000, Laurell K Hamilton made a comment that every murder in her Anita Blake books which did not require her magic system to execute was based on a real crime with small details changed to fit the supernatural world. She expressed more regret and disgust at the things she's learned from true crime books than any of the alleged horror in her novels.

Having read many of the earlier books in her series, I can only say that I'm glad I don't have her reading list.

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And you thought thriller writers made this stuff up

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