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THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF WRITING

Justin Case 🚫

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF WRITING

(Shamelessly copied from The Kristen Archive page on ASSTR)

Simple tips that will help you write like a professional Web author:

SIN 1: Incorrect Punctuations

Punctuations are an important part of any story. It's funny how many writers forget how they work and why they're used. One of the more often made mistakes is the use of quotations within punctuations.

Example: Correct ("He loves you," she said.) Incorrect ("He Loves you", she said.)

All punctuations should be enclosed within the quotations, no matter what they are. (!), (?), (,), (.) Always inside the (").

Commas! When in doubt always use a comma. Commas help the reader to take a mental break, they help to keep the flow of the story going comfortably. Many writers under use this lowly little punctuation mark, but shouldn't.

SIN 2: Spelling

You'd be amazed how many writers don't use their spell checkers. Almost every computer comes with a word processor, and if the one you're using doesn't, you should consider upgrading your system.

No matter how much you try to proofread your own work (even with a spell checker), you'll most likely miss something. That's pretty normal. When you write a story, you see what you meant, not necessarily what you wrote. That's why a proofreader-editor can save a story.

Don't go it alone; hook up with another writer or someone from the proofreader/editor web site above. You'll have more satisfied readers, guaranteed.

SIN3: Formatting your story for the Web

No one likes to read one long paragraph. Try to break up your paragraphs into manageable segments. And, since most visitors read your web stories on their computers (even when they download them), it is a must to leave white space between the paragraphs. That means an empty space between paragraphs. (It's much easier on the eyes.)

Good formatting is essential for easy reading. It is advisable to break out "dialog" as separate paragraphs, and/or sentences with white space between them too.

Another mistake is to use your word processor's indent. Indented sentences format funny when they're converted from word processors to text formats. You can't post a readable word processor format onto the Internet, only HTML or text TXT.

ANY OTHER FORMAT HAS TO BE DOWNLOADED AND COULD CONTAIN A VIRUS. And that's a sure way to scare away readers.

SIN 4: People speak naturally, don't they?

When you have dialog in your story, consider how people really talk. Use slang to make the characters more realistic. A stilted formal dialog kills a story almost as fast as bad punctuation or misspelled words. Consider substituting "they're" for "they are' or "she'd" for "she would" or "can't" for "can not" or "they'll" for "they will" etc. People don't talk in formal speech patterns, not in real life anyway. Neither should your characters, not if you want people to read your next story.

SIN 5: Over using names

Try not to use the same words in a paragraph - and never "over use" a character's name. A story where almost every sentence starts out with the heroine's name or where there could have been a less, redundant "he" or "she" will turn most readers off sooner or later. Throw in a "she" or "he" or a "hers" or "his" if it won't confuse the reader as to who you're refering to. A good rule of thumb; only use a character's name once in a paragraph or less if possible.

SIN 6: Using more words than necessary

Don't use the same gimmick over and over again. The word "Then" is WAY over used. Example: "He then got up and moved into the other room..." (No reason to insert the word "then" but you'd be surprised how many writers do just that.) Consider the shortest sentence to tell your story, cut out superfluous words; it'll make for a better read.

SIN 7: Did you re-read your story?

ALWAYS RE-READ YOUR STORY! No one, no matter how many stories they've written should EVER pass-on a story without reading it again at least once. Typos and misspelled words will jump out at you on a re-read. You'll even find whole words or sentences that don't make sense when you take a second look at what you've written.

While you're re-reading; be critical, look for words or phrases that you can eliminate. Many times a sentence will read much better when you remove extraneous words. If they don't add to the story they should be cut. You'll find that when you look at your work with a critical eye you can ALWAYS make the story flow smoother than it did in the first draft.

That's how the really great web authors produce what you have enjoyed reading. Those stories are what got you writing in the first place. Just remember the stories that you stopped reading because there were too many things wrong with them. Don't let that happen to your efforts. It's not that hard to produce a good story.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Justin Case

Example: Correct ("He loves you," she said.) Incorrect ("He Loves you", she said.)

The Brits will disagree with that.

All punctuations should be enclosed within the quotations, no matter what they are. (!), (?), (,), (.) Always inside the (").

There are times the ? is outside the quote. I just woke up so my mind isn't working to give an example. It has something to do with whether the ? is part of the question in the dialogue or the if the dialogue is part of an overall question.

Replies:   Keet  awnlee jawking
Keet 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Example: Correct ("He loves you," she said.) Incorrect ("He Loves you", she said.)

The Brits will disagree with that.

Not only the Brits. I think it's simply wrong unless the punctuation is part of the sentence between the quotation marks. I know it's the American rule but to me it reads wrong because there's no logic why it should be that way. Probably another of those "we must do it different from the British English".

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Example: Correct ("He loves you," she said.) Incorrect ("He Loves you", she said.)

The Brits will disagree with that.

I don't know where you came up with that notion. In speech, Brits put the delimiting punctuation within the quotes too.

There are times the ? is outside the quote.

I'd like to see some examples, pretty please. I've seen quite a few instances in stories recently where I would have placed the question mark inside the quotes.

AJ

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I'd like to see some examples, pretty please.

Here's one:

Which book contains the phrase, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"?

Not dialogue, but the question mark is outside the quotation mark.

Replies:   awnlee_jawking
awnlee_jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Good point.

I assumed from the example that Kristen was talking about dialogue but her use of the word 'quotations' confuses me.

AJ

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@awnlee_jawking

Personally, I would single-quote that, and reserve double-quotes for things someone actually said out loud in the context of the story.

Yes, there are other countries in which that isn't the case, too.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I'd like to see some examples

Here's another:

If the sentence containing the dialogue is a question, then the question mark goes outside of the quotation marks.

Example

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here"?

Replies:   Redsliver
Redsliver 🚫

@Switch Blayde

I think these are wrong. Not the placement of the question mark, that's right, but the lack of period inside the quotes.

Which book contains the phrase, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"?

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here"?

Shouldn't these be:
Which book contains the phrase, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."?

and

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here."?

Obviously question mark goes outside the quotes as it isn't the words of the quoted speaker. Inside the quotes should be the exact words of the quoted speaker. You don't put quote marks around paraphrases. As both are statements, they should have their quoted punctuation inside the quote marks.

A better way to do this is to have a clear sentence fragment in the quotes, not another statement.

Such as:

Did Cheryl just call Holly "a tragic waste of a tight pussy"?

or

You didn't think I was being literal when I invited you up to my apartment for "a cup of coffee"?

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Redsliver

Which book contains the phrase, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."?

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here."?

I don't think the period should be there. I think the rules of punctuation leaves it out.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

I don't think the period should be there. I think the rules of punctuation leaves it out.

I believe you're right. If the quotation has closing punctuation that would result it two sets of punctuation effectively adjacent, the quotation's closing punctuation gets culled.

Michael Loucks' example should read: "Do you know who said 'Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war'?" Jack asked.

AJ

Replies:   Michael Loucks
Michael Loucks 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Michael Loucks' example should read: "Do you know who said 'Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war'?" Jack asked.

I disagree, obviously. I wrote the way I write. If the quotation needs a question mark or exclamation point, it gets it, inside the interior (single) quote, and then the necessary punctuation for the external, enclosing quote.

Of course, I'm sure you'll point to a grammar, but all of them (like dictionaries) are descriptive, point in time documents.

Just look at how the meanings of words change, no matter what the dictionary might say.

Redsliver 🚫

@Michael Loucks

Indeed, definitions are negotiated.

Language is going to change irregardless of your literal attempts to lock it away in the tallest tower. Obvs.

Or something to that effect.

For me the

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here."?

doesn't look like double punctuation but an accurate quotation. Dropping the period seems to be changing the original speaker/writer's words. I might be choosing showing respect over meticulous grammar though.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Michael Loucks

Of course, I'm sure you'll point to a grammar,

I'm sure I've seen it a couple of times but it's a very esoteric and contentious situation and rarely covered by grammar books.

English (British English?) abhors double punctuation, but with things like interrobangs creeping into use, the purists are probably fighting a losing battle.

If I saw your example in a story I was proofreading/editing, I would offer what I believe to be the 'correct' version, but it's not something I'd get my knickers in a twist about.

AJ

Michael Loucks 🚫

@awnlee jawking

the purists are probably fighting a losing battle

That's been true ever since the first purist objected to a shift in language. You cannot beat the masses, and eventually, the 'purists' have no choice but to give in or give up. Or they tilt at the windmill until they die.

Replies:   helmut_meukel
helmut_meukel 🚫

@Michael Loucks

You cannot beat the masses, and eventually, the 'purists' have no choice but to give in or give up. Or they tilt at the windmill until they die.

You are describing the situation in the English speaking (and writing) world.

As far as other languages are concerned it's quite different. There exist central institutions (one for each language) to avoid the English chaos.
E.g. German ist strictly regulated. While in France you get fined when you use in print media or TV the word computer instead of the French 'Ordinateur', in German a new product can be named similar to it's original name. Computer started with 'Komputer' but was quickly changed to Computer. Sometimes the German name just looks English, the cell phone (brit. mobile phone) is called 'Handy' in German.
However grammar, spelling and punctuation are strictly regulated. Local, regional and federal government bodies have to adhere to the rules. Same for educational institutions (schools, colleges, universities). Publishers of books for schools and universities have to adhere to the rules or the books get banned. Within the last 120 years only three major rule changes were introduced. All 16 German Bundesländer, Austria and Switzerland have to unanimously accept the changes, a very time consuming process.
While newspapers, most publishers, most of the adult population can write as they please, the pressure is usually enough they finally accept the changes.

BTW, such central institutions exist for Spanish and Portuguese too. I haven't looked into other languages.

One language is even more chaotic than English:
Norwegian has two official written variations of the Norwegian language (Bokmål, Nynorsk) and at least two more written variations (Riksmål, Høgnorsk).

Norwegian dialects (dialekter) are commonly divided into four main groups, 'Northern Norwegian' (nordnorsk), 'Central Norwegian' (trøndersk), 'Western Norwegian' (vestlandsk), and 'Eastern Norwegian' (østnorsk). Sometimes 'Midland Norwegian' (midlandsmål) and/or 'South Norwegian' (sørlandsk) are considered fifth or sixth groups.

Normalized speech, following the written languages, is not in common use. Now take into account that the Norwegian population is slightly below 5½ millions.

HM.

Michael Loucks 🚫

@helmut_meukel

You are describing the situation in the English speaking (and writing) world.

Which was the context of the discussion, given I was speaking expressly about how I write (in English) with examples from my writing.

I was fully aware of other languages, including Norwegian (I speak fluent Swedish and have spent considerable time there).

elevated_subways 🚫

@helmut_meukel

A slight digression: the French seem to be particularly keen on saving the "purity" of their language from the incursions of other languages, especially English. American English, on the other hand, readily accepts all sorts of words and phrases from other languages - including French!

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@elevated_subways

A slight digression: the French seem to be particularly keen on saving the "purity" of their language from the incursions of other languages, especially English.

Well the French government is. From what I've read on it, outside of government forms and reports, it is a war that they are losing badly.

Grey Wolf 🚫
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

Technically speaking (and this is a very technical discussion, I think), the interrobang is a single punctuation mark. It's simply constructed in most written English using two characters. It exists as a single character in Unicode.

SoL allows it in the forums: ‽

That's ampersand-hash-8253-semicolon, if you want to make your own.

Similarly, the elipsis (...) is a single Unicode character, and most (not all) word processors quietly turn dot-dot-dot into a single character.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Grey Wolf

That's ambersand-hash-8253-semicolon, if you want to make your own.

Really@#8253;

Replies:   GreyWolf
GreyWolf 🚫
Updated:

@Dominions Son

Ampersand: ‽ (‽)

At sign: @#8253;

HTML uses ampersand to lead into Unicode characters (and other characters, aka — (—)

Note that those ampersands are made with &

Also, be careful: if you edit, SoL will just give you &'s and mess up the careful &'s

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Grey Wolf

Similarly, the elipsis (...) is a single Unicode character,

Which is what I use, however, the Chicago Manual of Style and therefore all or most published novels use . . . (space dot space dot space dot space). It's one of the times I don't follow the CMOS.

I would think in HTML, the spaces would have to be non-breaking spaces.

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@Switch Blayde

This is an interesting blog entry from the Chicago Manual of Style people: https://cmosshoptalk.com/2019/07/30/dot-dot-dot-a-closer-look-at-the-ellipsis/

Yes, in HTML if you were doing dot-space-dot-space-dot you'd have to use non-breaking spaces.

My feeling is that the Unicode single-character ellipsis should be rendered with spacing if one is following CMOS (dots separated by a fixed amount of space). Essentially, that's a 'typesetting' task, not an 'authorship' task, in my view. Logically, the ellipsis is a thing, not three or five things; therefore, use the character which makes it a thing, and typeset as needed.

Also, note that a typesetter will almost never use a full space between dots. They would use a narrow space or a very narrow space (which also exist in Unicode). That's another reason why I'd argue that CMOS is 'wrong' - they're using a full-space where a full-space doesn't go.

This is a fairly neat article about typesetting ellipses: https://www.thebookdesigner.com/ellipsis-in-adobe-indesign/

It does put out the deficiencies of font-based ellipses, but (repeating myself) font-maker follies doesn't justify taking a single logical construct and making it three or five entities.

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde 🚫

@Grey Wolf

This is an interesting blog entry from the Chicago Manual of Style people: https://cmosshoptalk.com/2019/07/30/dot-dot-dot-a-closer-look-at-the-ellipsis/

I enjoyed the article. Thanks.

I don't publish in print—only ebook. And of course SOL isn't print. I use the "keep it simple" strategy and use the font's ellipsis and don't bother with curly quotes.

I chuckled at the reference to "dot dot dot." In the movie "Mama Mia" when the daughter is reading from her mother's diary, when she gets to the sex part she says, "dot, dot, dot."

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

I chuckled at the reference to "dot dot dot."

I would use 'dot dot dot' in conversation before I knew what an ellipsis was. Could be a Brit thing, but it seems to have died out recently. Or perhaps I no longer move in the right circles ...

AJ

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Grey Wolf

Similarly, the elipsis (...) is a single Unicode character, and most (not all) word processors quietly turn dot-dot-dot into a single character.

And since I write in plain text, I find that extremely annoying. I think I've managed to switch it off in my current word processor though.

AJ

Replies:   Keet
Keet 🚫

@awnlee jawking

And since I write in plain text, I find that extremely annoying. I think I've managed to switch it off in my current word processor though.

Now I'm curious what that plain text editor is since those usually don't have features to do such a thing.
That's why they are 'plain text' editors.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Keet

I said I write in plain text, not that I use a plain-text editor.

AJ

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I said I write in plain text, not that I use a plain-text editor.

I'd be interested if anyone knows a good text editor like Notepad++ (with something like intellisense) but for Linux, new to the platform so not sure what there is in this space.

the purpose of it would be to write base HTML which I learnt to write this raw two decades ago. the idea it to write in LibreOffice to get all the good stuff done but to meet the sites submission standards MAY re-write that as HTML which I see as simple enough as there would be minimal tags to insert inline just for the very few bits of formatting required here and there

Keet 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

I'd be interested if anyone knows a good text editor like Notepad++ (with something like intellisense) but for Linux, new to the platform so not sure what there is in this space.

There's a whole range of text editors for Linux. It depends on your personal preferences which is best. On most Debian based distributions either Pluma, Gedit, or both are already installed by default depending on the desktop you have chosen. And of course there's always LibreOffice Writer. I prefer gedit over pluma (with a few plugins) and Bluefish.
You might also check out the suggestions here: Linux writing software for novelists.
A simple search for "Linux text editor" will give you plenty of suggestions to check out.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

to meet the sites submission standards MAY re-write that as HTML

Just save as "filtered HTML" and submit that to SOL. You don't have to code the HTML.

Grey Wolf 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

This is where someone has to suggest Emacs.

Unless you have a lot of time on your hands, ignore the suggestion :)

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories 🚫

@Grey Wolf

I'd also suggest Vi or the upgrade Vii ;)

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

I'm sufficiently old-school that I would probably use vi for plain-text writing on Linux. I still do a lot of coding in vi (though my main development environment is vscode, now, though with few bells and whistles, since the project I'm working on doesn't integrate well with vscode - or no one's put in the effort to make it do so).

Gauthier 🚫

@Freyrs_stories

vscode run on linux and has of an incredible number of extensions including some dedicated to novelist.

Replies:   Keet
Keet 🚫
Updated:

@Gauthier

vscode run on linux and has of an incredible number of extensions including some dedicated to novelist.

Don't use vscode for the same reason you don't want to use Chrome. (Chrome is even worse, it scans your whole drive.)
If you're on Linux you don't want to incorporate the usual MS spyware. Since it's open source a version is created where all telemetry is removed. You could switch it off in vscode but it's switched on again with every update. Besides, you can't trust MS to really turn it off.
More information on the VSCodium page. There's a GitHub link for download on the page.

helmut_meukel 🚫

@Keet

And since I write in plain text, I find that extremely annoying. I think I've managed to switch it off in my current word processor though.

Now I'm curious what that plain text editor is since those usually don't have features to do such a thing.
That's why they are 'plain text' editors.

AS I understand it, he is using a word processor and saving what he wrote as 'plain text'.

In my experience – some years ago – when I had to create plain text output the word processor did the described conversions automatically and then complained when I hit 'Save as plain text' that I would loose some functionality.
When I confirmed, it saved it as plain text by converting the ellipsis back into dot-dot-dot.
It was annoying, I couldn't get rid of this warning without getting rid of other warnings too.

HM.

Michael Loucks 🚫
Updated:

@Keet

Now I'm curious what that plain text editor is since those usually don't have features to do such a thing.

My Mac can do this in a plain text editor using text replacement (in System Preferences/Keyboard/Text Substitution). That works in TextEdit in plain text mode.

solreader50 🚫

@Redsliver

Did the teacher say, "The symbol goes here."?

OK and what do you do with ...

Did the teacher say, "Does the symbol go here?"?

What I've written is logically correct but it looks so wrong.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@solreader50

Did the teacher say, "Does the symbol go here?"?

What I've written is logically correct but it looks so wrong.

I believe it is wrong. There wouldn't be a ? after the ending quote. Only one ? which would be inside the ending quote, as in:

Did the teacher say, "Does the symbol go here?"

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

Did the teacher say, "Does the symbol go here?"

Agreed.

AJ

Replies:   Redsliver
Redsliver 🚫

@awnlee jawking

This is the one that looks most right to me.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@solreader50

Now what if the first part of that sentence was dialogue. Would it be:

John asked, "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here?'?"

or would it be:

John asked, "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here?'"

I don't know.

Replies:   awnlee_jawking
awnlee_jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

John asked, "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here?'"

No. IMO that one should be "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here'?"

AJ

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee_jawking

John asked, "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here?'"

No. IMO that one should be "Did the teacher say, 'Does the symbol go here'?"

I can't find an example of this, but I did find this:

When single and double quotation marks are side by side, put a space between them.

"He said, and I quote, 'The mailman loves you.' "

I always hated writing '" I like the space.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee_jawking

Still can't find an example so I gave up. But I found the following (which I would never use):

Question marks replace commas

You might be surprised to know that the question mark, while used exclusively to ask questions, can function in some rather unique situations, the most surprising being its ability to stand in for a comma. Take this sentence, for example:

"Where is Eric's car? and where is he, for that matter?" asked Sarah.

This is a grammatically correct use of the question mark. It might look awkward to some, but the laws of grammar state that when multiple questions are asked in the same sentence, a "?" can be used in place of a comma to indicate multiple questions. This should, however, only be done in works of fiction, primarily in dialogue.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

That looks very contentious to me. If I encountered it while editing or proofreading, I would correct it to only have a single question mark at the end.

AJ

Replies:   Switch Blayde
Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee jawking

If I encountered it while editing or proofreading, I would correct it to only have a single question mark at the end.

Me too.

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@Switch Blayde

I would break it into two sentences, personally. I can 'hear' the question mark (up-talking) after 'car', and dropping it there risks losing that cue.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I don't know where you came up with that notion. In speech, Brits put the delimiting punctuation within the quotes too.

From articles I read on punctuation. Like from: https://www.unr.edu/writing-speaking-center/student-resources/writing-speaking-resources/british-american-english

Commas and Periods Within Quotation Marks
British English puts commas and periods (full stops) outside the quotation marks unless the quotation is also a complete sentence or the punctuation is part of the quotation.

The UWSC says that British people write it "this way".
American English puts commas and periods inside the quotation marks.

The UWSC says that American people write it "this way."
When it comes to other punctuation, both versions write it similarly. Colons and semicolons go outside quotation marks, and exclamation points and question marks depend on whether they're part of the quote or the sentence as a whole.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Switch Blayde

From articles I read on punctuation. Like from:

That's from a US university.

I found this from Oxford University:
https://www.ox.ac.uk/sites/files/oxford/Style%20Guide%20quick%20reference%20A-Z.pdf

place punctuation before the closing quotation mark if the quote would have required
punctuation in its original form; place it after the closing quotation mark if the quote would
not require punctuation:

'Bob,' I asked, 'do you like cheese?' OR 'Bob, do you like cheese?' I asked.
OR 'Does Bob', I asked, 'like cheese?'
• use single quotation marks for quotations/direct speech/titles and double quotation marks for
quotations/direct speech/titles within that:

'I haven't got round to reading "Thomas the Tank Engine" yet,' I said

That seems to back up what SB is saying and it's from a British university.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

That's talking about quotations, not speech. Kirsten's example looked like speech to me.

AJ

Reluctant_Sir 🚫
Updated:

@Justin Case

I am sure someone will come along and disagree, but I found it interesting how the very first paragraph breaks a couple of the rules they attempt to define.

Spelling:

The plural usage of punctuation is punctuation or, if you insist on an 's', use punctuation marks.

Punctuation:

The comma in the sentence below should be a semicolon.

Commas help the reader to take a mental break, they help to keep the flow of the story going comfortably.

If they had, instead, added a conjunction:

Commas help the reader to take a mental break, and they help to keep the flow of the story going comfortably.

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Justin Case

SIN 4: People speak naturally, don't they?

I often get comments each time a new chapter is posted regarding my choices on dialogue. People do not speak grammatically correct unless they are reading from a prepared document. They will use double negatives, contractions, and improper verbs. And that's how I write dialogue.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Justin Case

Let he who is without sin write the first stone.

All have sinned and fall sort of the glory of Grammer.

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Dominions Son

sort of the glory of Grammer

Would that be when he went from being Doctor Frasier Crane to being the voice of Sideshow Bob, or then was in 'Down Periscope' and 'X-Men: The Last Stand' and 'Days of Future Past'?

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Sideshow Bob triggered me to mention Mr. Burns, a Post-Electric Play.

Since the play (especially acts 1 and 2) are based on 'Cape Feare', Sideshow Bob plays a major role. Act 3 is much more ... divergent.

I have some serious quibbles with the play (as did reviewers), but it was a lot of fun and worth seeing if you should get a chance to see it (if you like postapocalyptic speculation which references the Simpsons, anyway).

Yes, we're entirely off track, so I'll get us on track by saying that I didn't notice the play violating any of the seven deadly sins referenced here.

richardshagrin 🚫
Updated:

@Justin Case

Punctuations

Authors should always Pun. Not sure about ctuations.

Maybe ctuations should be situations.

Michael Loucks 🚫

@Justin Case

Really complicate it with dialog and internal quotes!

I would write thusly:

"Do you know who said 'Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!'?" Jack asked.

And:

"Do you know who said 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'?" Jane asked.

And:

"Michael Corleone said 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'," I replied.

🤪🤪🤪

helmut_meukel 🚫

@Justin Case

SIN 1: Incorrect Punctuations

One not shown or discussed here:

"I can appear as an extra in another movie on the lot," I asked?

should be:
"I can appear as an extra in another movie on the lot?" I asked.
This is one of Banadin's pet errors and they are still there after he reworked the early Richard Jackson books for publishing by Amazon.

HM.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@helmut_meukel

"I can appear as an extra in another movie on the lot?" I asked.

I agree - that looks right to me.

AJ

redthumb 🚫

@Justin Case

The sentence "Pardon impossible to be sent to Siberia" must have a comma someplace as there 2 ways that things can happen."Pardon, impossible to be sent to Siberia" and "Pardon impossible, to be sent to Siberia."

solreader50 🚫

@Justin Case

SIN 5: Over using names

And it's corrolary. Don't mix up your characters names. Nothing draws me up shorter when Mary metamorphoses into Nancy in the space of an orgasm. Espacially when Nancy was killed two chapters ago.

Replies:   Grey Wolf
Grey Wolf 🚫

@solreader50

It could happen, perhaps, in a paranormal story or maybe a strange, sideways do-over. Might be an interesting story beat, even.

Or just a stupid error.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Grey Wolf

It could happen, perhaps, in a paranormal story or maybe a strange, sideways do-over. Might be an interesting story beat, even.

Redsliver went there and did that with his Magic is Gross series.

AJ

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