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Looking for stories that show how to write BDSM well

Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

As above. Trying to workout how to weave BDSM into 3 different drafts I'm working on. It's a major feature of all three but they are not really similar stories at all.

One is about control, one is about safe expression of represed desires and the last is about discipline. They are also of different lengths. The shortest around 25-50k the longest a few hundred K, though the BDSM only accounts for maybe 200k of that. There are many other themes as well.

The power dynamics are different too though they are all older male over younger female, the reasoning and motives of the dominator are very different. There will be (at least in two of the stories) a bit of topping from the bottom.

So, what am I looking for? maybe half a dozen stories/authors well written in the theme. No pain sluts, but maybe a little debasement / embarassment. Some coercion though the reason and manner are different in all three. I want something that 'sounds true' for lack of a better explanation. I'd prefer longer and more detailed / accurate.

I remember a story I read that was sort of what I wanted. It was a story of a father of twin girls who couldn't be more different. One is Daddy's little girl the other is resentful and rebellious. The rebel goes with their mother to take care of a relative and while they are gone the father takes to dominating the 'good' daughter until he has her completely under his control. She submits willingly though reluctantly at first. when the rebel and mother return it is revealed that the mother is her husbands full time sub. The rebel is disciplined and finds that she likes it and thus the father has 3 subs now. The story ends with the father giving away the now tamed rebel to another Dom and impregnating the other after she submits for long enough. there are a few adventures in between but that's the just of it. Not sure of title or author but I think I can find it again.

This is the kind of story I was after if a little light on detail and not as balanced as I want except for one of the stories I'm working on.

All tips and guidance appreciated.

Till later, F.

Replies:   Pixy
Pixy ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

We have a saying in the UK "The proof of the pudding, is in the tasting." Which is very apt, as it basically means 'Put your story up and let the reader decide'

Reading other peoples work in order to try and understand a thing, is a flawed process as you will pick up their mistakes. Also, this leads to the same, tired old tropes because you inevitably think that's what the reader wants, because that's what's written. The reality, is often people read it, because they have no other choice in the matter. Copying other's plots/characters often stifles creativity as well.

Have you actually posted anything yet? Or is this another one of your many "I have written a thing, and it's the most awesome thing, and I'm not submitting it because of...reasons..."?

Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@Pixy

it's I'm trying to work on a few stories in between all the other things I'm doing. I am actually working on two core stories one of which will be the first I post.

As far as following a flawed process that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. I've read a few BDSM specific stories and none of them have had what I want as far as content or execution are concerned.

I've got a couple of generic intro to BDSM guides but they only give me a pointer here or there. I don't want to just join the dots and put together something generic, read boring and just plain wrong both for what the story / characters 'need'. and something that shows the kink in a manner that I think will work for my style and is at least partially accurate as to how the lifestyle is meant to work.

There's a lot of stories on here and most of them would fit into your description of 'tired old tropes'. As far as 'creativity' I'm not looking for something to copy paste. I have my own plotlines, it's really mechanics that I'm looking to take 'inspiration' from. I like the theme but am fairly inexperienced with the scenarios it follows.

As I said I'm working on two main stories, neither of these are BDSM related but I don't write in a smooth process. I bob and weave between different documents, trying to avoid stopping and running out of words to write down.

This request is about putting stuff in, in a planning document for the stories it belongs in. Casting an eye over my long term guidance of plots there's a total of 37 outlined stories taking up a bit over 3,000 words. I was / am looking at some of these in between bouts of actual work, hoping to capture a small amount of inspiration to sprinkle across the range.

Some of those stories only have one or two paragraphs, some have a page or two. When I'm relaxed and think I can put words down. I jump on a construction document or two and write away. If that goes well, I then dive into an actual story, hopefully somewhere where ideas will flow for long enough that I can get in a thousand or so words in, before I get too restless and move on to either another story or another work project.

But back to the BDSM. I've barely done any reading these past 2 or 3 months. I've either been at or recovering from work. To make matters harder I'm doing a 6 month course to brush up on some skills I let get far too rusty hence the concentration on only 2 stories even if they don't contain any BDSM. I still need to look for relevant and hopefully quality prose to inject some ideas into those other stories when I get back to them. One is my medium term project and though I'm drifting in the wind with that one in particular. I would like to get back to it sooner rather than later. I can't just stare at the prompt of one story or idea in particular and hope for a muse to land on the keyboard.

As I said I bounce and of late the ideas have not been coming. So I bounce 'more'. I looked at the guide document and remembered some of the how and why of those BDSM stories and thought it worth doing some reading in the vein of research. I know doing lots of nothing is still doing nothing, but I 'need' to write. What I write is actually important and recently those vibes have been concentrated on just 2 stories with the BDSM daemon running in the background asking to be 'fed'. I admit openly that I have no idea how to write like it seems people do. i.e. pound out a thousand or perhaps 100 thousand words. I don't work that way. I just want some suggestions on 'good' BDSM to feed to the daemon and maybe kick loose something that at the very least can go in a construction document.

Replies:   Pixy  ralord82276
Pixy ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

I've read a few BDSM specific stories and none of them have had what I want as far as content or execution are concerned.

You've answered your own question. If you know what you want 'as far as content or execution are concerned' then write what you want. Everything else is just procrastination.

I debated with myself at the wisdom of replying to your original post, and now I find myself doing so again at the wisdom of replying to your reply. The problem I have, is in replying honestly (and constructively) without coming across as a complete arsehole.

I read your response, and my first/initial thought was 'Blah, blah, blah...'. You could have removed three quarters of your reply and it wouldn't be missed. What I read, was a long, superfluous reason as to why you haven't posted. Very much akin to a schoolchild explaining to their teacher why they didn't do their homework the previous night.

I have said this to you before, and I will say it again. If you spent less time on self advertisement and more time on actual content, then it would be to your betterment.

No-one can respond constructively to your questions, because we have nothing of yours to formulate constructive comments to. That will not change until you actually post something in which others can objectively reply to. If you intend on carrying on as you have so far been doing, then inevitably, people are going to see your name and skip the content, because, well why should they spend time reading and replying if their advice is going to be ignored anyway.

Freyr, you need to post a story. It doesn't matter if it's not completed or it's a work in progress (stories can be added to, or re-posted. Posting content is not final). It's getting to the stage now, where you need to prove to readers of these forums, that you are genuine and not just a fantasist who 'talks the talk,' but can't 'walk the walk'...

In fact, that raises an interesting question; Is it possible for writers to have their own version of a military 'Walt'?

Replies:   Pixy
Pixy ๐Ÿšซ

@Pixy

Just in case anyone reading this thread is confused by the term 'Walt'.

https://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Walts

ralord82276 ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Freyrs_stories

It is very difficult for anyone to thematically direct a BDSM story written by someone else. Why? Because BDSM is not one theme, one lifestyle... it is a wide range of themes and lifestyles that can be intricately linked.

This "grouping" of themes/lifestyles includes people who are sexually or mentally or emotionally soothed, triggered or aroused by:
B-Bondage: either chaining or binding another person or being chained or bound.
D(D/s)-Domination (Domination/submission): controlling portions of another person's life or having portions of their lives controlled by someone else. This can be very limited in scope up to full control of every aspect.
S-Sadism: causing pain (physical, mental, or emotional) to someone else.
M-Masochism: receiving pain (p/m/or e) caused by someone else.

Because of how intertwined these 4 different fetishes usually are and how wide a range of (severity? unsure of which word to use here) the fetishes, it makes it very difficult to suggest thematic nuances to fit your story-in-progress. The best way (IMO) to get help with how to describe what you want is to generalize which areas your story is primarily about and the approx. degree of severity (i.e. the story is primarily a D/s-theme with strict control but only in sexual situations with minor bondage and discipline used primarily to heighten the D/s theme) and ask if there are any people experienced with that area that are willing to PM you to 1) answer questions 2) read your in-progress works and 3) discuss how you are trying to get it to read.

While I have read stories that contain BDSM elements, it primarily is in the form of a few paragraphs here or there in the story. It is not the focus of the story and usually not even the focus of the sexual scene.. the BDSM elements are just a beginning platform the authors use to jump into the sex in their stories. The stories highlight the BDSM elements for a short portion then quickly move on to standard sex scene. It sounds to me like you want more depth...more along the entire lifestyle that revolves around BDSM elements your project story is going to involve. Unfortunately I do not know of any story that shows more depth (unless 50 Shades does? I haven't read those so not sure).

Right now, all anyone knows is you are working on BDSM stories that feature D/s and some discipline in one and you are not very familiar with the lifestyle so can't express specifics. Well.. that is such a broad description that covers such vast assortment of lifestyles of varying severity that is essentially useless. You will have to give a more detailed breakdown to get a chance at help... and unless you are writing different stories with the same BDSM elements and severity, you have to differentiate your descriptions: ie story A has .... story B has....

Replies:   Freyrs_stories  Pixy
Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@ralord82276

yes, thankyou for your reply. I know it was vague as I'm not really up to the layout stage of any of the three stories. Though I do know that all of them are very different. If I can get a few thousand words more written on each of them, even if it's only in the construction documents I'll come back with a better worded query.

It's primarily the longer one I want help with but I've not even finished with the introduction year that only hints at BDSM and even then obliquely. It needs maybe another 1/3 to 1/2 as much text as there already is before I'd even half think of posting it and the editing process has not started at all.

I picked one of my, likely very short stories to work on till the end of the week and see if I can actually get something out. One of the problems is I only occasionally spin this machine up so it sits neglected a lot of the time. That said I have written nearly a thousand words today so who knows? maybe I will actually finish something eventually.

@Pixy, you're not an arsehole, I'm just a chronic procrastinator and drift around trying to write something down on the odd occasion I actually do get some inspiration.

Replies:   ralord82276
ralord82276 ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

I wanted to point out that a well-written BDSM scene in some way shows or reflects the direction of motivation behind the fetishes... doesn't necessarily reveal the motivation itself though. For example, in a D/s scene is it the Dom or the sub or both that get "soothed, triggered, or aroused" by the experience? In other words, the writing somehow shows if it is a shared fetish or if one person is just enabling the other to get the experience they need. This can be outright stated in the scene but is usually better done through subtleties in the scene writing.

It is best to know what aspects of each fetish appeals to your characters and how "severe" their fetish need is... Coercion is an aspect of D/s, humiliation/embarrassment can be an aspect of Sadism or Masochism or both depending on who is getting their fetish kick from it: the giver or the receiver? If someone is a Sadist or a Masochist, does mild pain fuel their kick? Major pain? Crippling pain? Does it matter the form the pain takes (physical, mental, emotional)? The tools used to create the pain (family members, tools, strangers, animals, etc)?

To properly write a BDSM scene, you don't need to know everything about BDSM... but you do need to know about how your characters think and feel about their fetishes...or if they are just a supporter/enabler, how they feel about supporting/enabling the person and their fetish.

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@ralord82276

Okay so each of the three stories comes from a different tac as it were.

1) starts out to manipulate and control / power trip which eventually resolves itself in what I am hoping is a slightly different reveal of the basis of needs and justifacations.

2) is as a way of offering support to what the sub 'needs' and eventually resolves in an equal partnership. The sub is in control but only because they need some form of permission or control to not feel guilt over their behaviour. In this tale the sub pretty much leads from start to finish but that is for the story as a whole even the non-BDSM parts.

3) starts as a form of punishment dished out by a former dom that turns into a multifacited 4 way relationship. It's actually part of a much larger universe though and I'm pretty sure it will be the only story in that 'world' that is BDSM focused.

All come from and lead to very different places but BDSM and it's, as you say subtleties come hopefully to the fore. Everyone in each of the three stories is on a journey and in the end everyone gets what they need out of it. A little bit of 'just right - goldilocks' for lack of a better trope. None of it will go hardcore into the darker aspects of the kink, so I'd say balanced with a leaning towards entertainment but with a definite dose of the authentic.

I'm yet to decide exactly what mix of the combinations that BDSM stands for will be in each example. There will likely be at least one or two realisations for the characters and their behaviour's motivations. I think that with some reading of both fictional tellings and factual guides, I may be able to tread the line I'm envisioning.

This will be a slow journey so I'm not in a mad rush to know everything or write my own perfect life. They each as I said are different but each is rooted in some of the key facets of BDSM and what it means to those whom practice it.

Till later, F.

Replies:   ralord82276
ralord82276 ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Freyrs_stories

replying specifically to your 3 themes:

1) Dom-centric story, focusing on their need to control their partner... from what you seem to be saying the story explores their need to control and how that need became part of their psyche. Questions to think about in relation to this story: is the MC in a primary D/s relationship or is this across several casual D/s encounters? is the D/s shown only during the sexual encounters or also during other aspects of their lives? Is their sub a full sub fetishist or just a non-dominant that bends to their will?

2)First, a sub in a D/s relationship is NOT "in control". A better way to describe what I think you mean is that the sub's "needs" are the focus of the relationship (and story) and the Dom in the relationship is a supporter/enabler and not a Dom fetishist. And yes, some subs are that way due to feeling guilt when getting pleasure in certain situations so they voluntarily give control to someone else so that they are not responsible for the decision leading to that pleasure therefore avoiding the guilt. And occasionally a sub grows out of the need for giving control to someone else because they eventually accept that aspect of their self. Most common thematic use of this that I can think of is a woman that grows up in a strict religious household and made to think that any form of sexual contact with another woman is bad. Yet she has an attraction/fascination to intimacy with other women. She feels extreme guilt over this due to upbringing. However as a sub in a D/s relationship she sometimes is involved in lesbian activities at the command of her Dom allowing her to experience the pleasure without the guilt since she is "just following orders". Eventually she internalizes that there is nothing wrong with giving or receiving pleasure in intimacy with other women so she no longer needs to be ordered to do so.

3) Not much to go on here... you gave a little bit of info that doesn't really say anything at all except that it involves D/s and ends in a 4-way relationship.

Not needing or expecting answers or response to this - just written to clarify the info you gave and to give you something to think about as you develop your storylines/characters more.

** Hindsight 20/20 Book 1 and Book 4 by SmokinDriver
Some of the relationships/encounters by the MC of Book 1 have minor BDSM elements (specifically Robyn, Monica, Tori, Darcy during high school and college years). Different MC in Book 4 but same thing with different emphasis (post high school graduation with senior year english teacher, relationship with Patty during that summer and later college years, several encounters with others during story). The BDSM elements are minor for the most part and NOT central to either of the stories ...more of just used to add spice to the sex scenes.

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@ralord82276

The reason 3) is so vague is I've not actually written any of it outside of a 4 or 5 line outline. but you've pretty much nailled the 'feel' of the other two, if not the actual content and context. As I said I want this to have the right 'flavour' to match the way things go.

When I said the sub is in control I meant two things. The sub can always say 'no' except in some relationships that are 100% D/s if you get my limited point. The other way I say the sub is in control is more that it is the sub that initiates all the behaviours and their rules as it were.

I'm not super worried about 3) as it's set late in a universe timeline. 1) is a short term project and more typical of the BDSM stories I've seen here where the Dom initiates everything and the sub learns that their place is the place they actually belong. This one is a short to medium term project.

2) is the hard one. It takes place over just over 4 years and will also include an epilogue unless by some miracle there is enough 'demand' to carry it past that time frame. I do have the dot points for years 2-4 and I'd say I'm 70% done on the first year. Right now one of the things I'm doing is sprinkling psudeoBDSM notes into it. The second year will be the 'darkest' with a 'bad' dom who does not have any empathy for this sub and just wants to exploit them (and their inexperience) for their own needs. Kind of led astray by a corrupt master type of thing.

The story is also the most 'complex' relationship wise, with 3 doms, 1 switch and 1 sub at present. There may be an extra sub hiding in my subconscious (see what I did there;)) I do have a BDSM experienced editor for this one in particular and they are being very patient with me. I've provided a few samples but I'm jumping around the story like an epileptic on a pogo stick trying to find a place that I feel I can add or extend parts of. It also has virtually no dialogue, something which right now is intentional as I want to add that at the end once I have a more developed grasp of each characters 'voice'. There are clear time divisions planned out and spaces left intentionally to back fill later.

There are a few places where it (dialogue) exists. One scene inparticular was actually where the idea for the story came from so I knew it off the bat. Though at that point the story was only intended to cover a few months and have a wordcount around 20K. Now it's already 5x that and as I said will be 4 years. BDSM wasn't even on the horizon when I started writing it and it sort of poped up as a theme as I realised it was going to be a much longer story than the relative quick adventure I had originally envisaged.

I'd say there will be a very long 'fine tuning' process before I start to post it. Not saying that it has to be 100% before I upload page one, just that I want to have moved to finishing a subsequent year before I post the previous. I don't want to have to retcon anything into it as I've already started to do with this early draft.

But back to the BDSM, I want to cover different aspects of the genre across the three stories so I'm not spreading myself 'too thin' and I hope that I can develop a more complete mastery of it as I work on each story and understand more about it as I put down text and read resources for both fictional and non-fiction aspects that need to go in each story.

Thanks for the straightforward reply, you've said what I was thinking but was yet to put in words as it were. I'll keep you in the loop, F.

Replies:   Marius-6
Marius-6 ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

I want this to have the right 'flavour' to match the way things go.

Having read through the various posts, I would suggest reading (at least parts) of the Team Manager series by Aroslav, https://storiesonline.net/a/aroslav as well as the Variation on a Theme series by Grey Wolf (books 2 and 3 in particular) https://storiesonline.net/a/grey-wolf

I recommend them not because they portray a lot of BDSM; rather because they portray Consent quite well, and write great sex scenes IMHO. Consent, and/or Lack of Consent are important elements of BDSM. Although different people have different Feelings about what "Turns them On (or Off); well written depictions make a huge difference to most people enjoying a story.

I would also recommend my own A Girl in an Alley https://storiesonline.net/library/storyInfo.php?id=29338 While it would not be considered BDSM by a fetishist, it has elements of BDSM. Overtly, at times, the MC is physically restraining the significantly younger teen girl. He is physically significantly larger and stronger. There is a power differential beyond that, in that she is an under-age prostitute. She also has nipple piercings and a piercing of her clitoral hood, and somebody did that to her. Pain is depicted, or strongly implied. Not pain inflicted for the sake of pain, but because of how and where they are having sex, there is some pain mixed with the pleasure. Both take some pain medication taken; the MC suffers from chronic pain. The MC and the teen girl are both "broken" people in the emotional sense; this is often the case for people who engage in BDSM. There are other aspects in my story that might also apply in a BDSM scene from elements of "Role Play" to Exstacy through some pain, and reluctance yet also enjoyment. My story is also a short story not a series of 50+ chapter books.

I too am having difficulties, similar to yours, completing several sequels to this particular story. As was mentioned above, I too would encourage you to Post Something, even if you feel the need to revise it later.

Cheer!

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@Marius-6

Thanks for the reply. It seems to answer my questions, though I still need to read the suggestions and confirm that we're on the same page as it were.

After I've read the recommendations, I might get back to you to share some writing and ideas if you'd be comfortable with that. Not actually editing, more general guidance if that suits your schedule and happiness to mentor for one or two stories.

I'll likely do my reading on the weekend so don't worry if the response lags a little.

Thanks in advance, F.

Replies:   Marius-6  Marius-6
Marius-6 ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

Not actually editing, more general guidance if that suits your schedule and happiness to mentor for one or two stories.

I would be happy to do what you have requested. I am retired, but I volunteer for a couple of veterans organizations and other non-profits. It might take me 72 hours to a week to respond. I don't always check in with SoL every day.

Replies:   Freyrs_stories
Freyrs_stories ๐Ÿšซ

@Marius-6

Thankyou very much for the offer. look out for a DM with my email in it. I'll put a few questions to you there. Time isn't really an issue. I only write sporadically and though I get nervous as soon as I send a message, I try to ignore that sensation.

Marius-6 ๐Ÿšซ

@Freyrs_stories

Not actually editing, more general guidance if that suits your schedule and happiness to mentor for one or two stories.

I would be happy to do what you have requested. I am retired, but I volunteer for a couple of veterans organizations and other non-profits. It might take me 72 hours to a week to respond. I don't always check in with SoL every day.

Pixy ๐Ÿšซ

@ralord82276

unless 50 Shades does? I haven't read those so not sure

I tried reading that series, gave up after a few chapters of the first book.

Over the years since the novels were released, I have chatted with those who live the lifestyle and their opinions of the books are... Less than favourable, shall we say.

A bit like a surgeon looking at the Hasbro game 'Operation'. Yes, the game involves removing objects from a torso, but that's the only similarity between the game and an actual operation. The game is Fifty Shades and those who live the BDSM lifestyle are the surgeon.

In the UK, the books were commonly labelled as 'Mummy porn'. No doubt reference to being read by vanilla women craving a little 'excitement' in their humdrum lives, but who had no actual desire to go further than dipping a toenail in the water.

Fifty shades became one of those books like 'A brief history of time' and 'The satanic verses', where it was deemed 'the in thing' to have on/in your bookshelf(s), but no-one actually read the damn thing. There were many newspaper reports about UK charities refusing to accept obviously un-read books as donations, because no one bought them and the charities were having to bin the stock they had as they couldn't even give them away.

This post feels like it should be ended with a phrase, in Latin, containing the word caveat along with an ominous audible jangle of chains...

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Pixy

Over the years since the novels were released, I have chatted with those who live the lifestyle and their opinions of the books are... Less than favourable, shall we say.

There's the issue of whether to write what's accurate or what's entertaining or try for a happy medium. EL James went for entertaining. There are quite a few decent ongoing serials on SOL where the authors have opted for entertaining.

AJ

awnlee jawking ๐Ÿšซ

@Pixy

Have you actually posted anything yet? Or is this another one of your many "I have written a thing, and it's the most awesome thing, and I'm not submitting it because of...reasons..."?

There are a number of posters here who claim to have written millions of words but have never posted anything.

What would happen if they do actually post their monsterpieces and their stories get scores in the 5s?

Better to post something less ambitious first to test the water before spending too much time on a labour of love that might prove a damp squib.

AJ

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