Writing technical documentation this question never comes up: Is it proper for a narrator to slide into a quote? Two examples from my planned Generous Offers 2β¦.
ONE
They were anxious to try the idea. I wisely suggested starting with one shirt "so we don't make the same mistake on two shirts at once." That was good advice because we quickly learned that none of us knew what we were doing and my kitchen scissors made a mess when cutting cloth. "Tomorrow we will go to a fabric store and buy what we need."
TWO [at an overtly sexual nudist resort]
The topic at breakfast was only slightly about the seven new faces but mostly about the three cougars who had left yesterday. Will pointed out that "they basically demanded sex from Mike, James, and me. Not knowing the local protocol we let them fuck us. They walked away saying 'that was fun.' I may be young but I'm nobody's sex toy. If we had known the protocol we would have told them to fuck themselves with a stick."
The software engineer in me can't imagine readers getting confused with
β¦one shirt first "so we don'tβ¦
or
Will pointed out that "they basicallyβ¦
I suppose the CMOS might disagree. But I want the reader to know which words were spoken.
Should I rework these paragraphs?