Forum: Author Hangout

Editing question

Switch Blayde 🚫

I just came upon the following while reading a story:

"I put on the tightest pair of pants I could find, a pair that hugged my lower body like a second skin."

My reading mind left out the "a" in "like a second skin." But another part of my mind realized I had done that so I reread the sentence and analyzed it.

So what do you think? Is better with the "a" or without, #1 or #2?

1. "I put on the tightest pair of pants I could find, a pair that hugged my lower body like a second skin."

2. "I put on the tightest pair of pants I could find, a pair that hugged my lower body like second skin."

Replies: Bondi Beach awnlee jawking

Bondi Beach 🚫

@Switch Blayde

#2 is stronger, but the real answer is it's such a cliché that it should be edited out entirely.

~ JBB

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Switch Blayde

No 1 says what it means and means what it says.

No 2 is gobbledegook. What is second skin and who has experienced having it?

AJ

Replies: Michael Loucks palamedes Argon

Michael Loucks 🚫

@awnlee jawking

That's my take as well.

palamedes 🚫

@awnlee jawking

What is second skin and who has experienced having it?

It is a bandage replacement for wounds most commenly called Liquid Skin and can be applied like nail polish or in a spray form. Most brands feel like your pouring alcohol directly onto the wound but it does do a great job of keeping the wound clean acting just like your skin.

Replies: madnige

madnige 🚫

@palamedes

Surely if 'second skin' was referring to a healthcare product it would be capitalized, so as AJ says, No 2 is gobbledegook. The one I've used was called something like 'Spray Bandage'

Argon 🚫

@awnlee jawking

< No 2 is gobbledegook. What is second skin and who has experienced having it? >
Jamie Gumb, the murderous weirdo in Silence of the Lambs.

Replies: awnlee jawking

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Argon

Jamie Gumb, the murderous weirdo in Silence of the Lambs.

Good point. I actually have a copy of that book on my bookshelf.

I subsequently did SOL searches for "like a second skin" and "like second skin". While "like a second skin" clocked up over 1000 occurrences, "like second skin" achieved a far from negligible 40.

I still think it's gobbledegook but it has its adherents.

AJ

Replies: Crumbly Writer Switch Blayde

Crumbly Writer 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Any bad idea will have its advocates, though it doesn't make them right. But again, when repeating a common cliché, it rarely pays to correct the common usage—though I have occasionally modified the sex to make it more applicable to the story. Which is a minor modification.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I subsequently did SOL searches for "like a second skin" and "like second skin".

I just did it on Ngram. The "a" is needed.

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Forum: Author Hangout

Editing question

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