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Freaky story

Soronel ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

I am looking at writing something scifi-horrorish and just wonder if my proposed setting is freaky enough.

It is set on what the humans believe to be an interplanetary generation ship, a couple generations into the journey but with many to go.

The AI running the ship has near-magical capabilities so far as the humans are concerned, teleportation, replication, both memory reading and direct thought-injection including being able to generate dreams and make people hallucinate.

In reality it is an alien kid's equivalent of an ant farm and the kid has complete control over what the AI does to and provides for the humans. The kid can give the AI specific orders but is usually satisfied with general guidance.

Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Soronel

Didn't either The Twilight Zone or Outer Limits do something similar? Humans unknowingly in an alien zoo?

With the humans completely unaware of the reality of the situation, I don't see where the horror element is.

Replies:   REP
REP ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

IIRC in that epode the humans were aware of or discovered they were being observed. The aliens wanted to watch them mate but they wouldn't cooperate. Didn't they escape in the final scenes?

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son ๐Ÿšซ

@REP

My recollection is that they discovered it. I don't recall if they escaped or not. Considering we are talking about The Twilight Zone and/or Outer limits, probably not. Neither show was known for happy endings.

Replies:   Pixy
Pixy ๐Ÿšซ

@Dominions Son

It's also similar, plot wise, to the 1998 film 'Dark City'.

Soronel ๐Ÿšซ

@Soronel

The AI can change human bodies. The alien is big on balance, so when the AI decides that one of the girls needs to be a guy the last one still in child status (who happens to be male) is made female. This is done at a cellular level, the AI is capable of performing teleportation at the level of individual molecules of DNA and both their bodies are rebuilt to match their new genes.

In the F2M case the AI has her father available so can generate an appropriate X chromosome.

Replies:   REP  Dicrostonyx
REP ๐Ÿšซ
Updated:

@Soronel

That may be a bit scary, but it is not horror.

Horror to me is when you become so scared that you flip out and can't control yourself.

Dicrostonyx ๐Ÿšซ

@Soronel

You'd need to focus on the characters involved, not what the AI is doing.

Consider the film the Matrix and specifically what happens when an agent takes over a body.

Is the original personality simply ejected and the body disposed of? Do other people in the Matrix see the agent or do they see their loved one go crazy? Does the original personality come back or just disappear, and if it comes back do they remember what the agent did?

Consider the final scene in the first film from the POV of people who don't realise the nature of the Matrix. How many people had their loved ones go crazy and drop dead as Neo was running from Agent Smith? How do you go on with your life after that happens, especially when you don't know why it happened.

That's horror. The fact that an AI can bounce in between bodies changing things is weird, but it's not scary except to the person being changed. You need to focus on what they are feeling, not what the AI is doing.

In the F2M case the AI has her father available so can generate an appropriate X chromosome.

The X chromosome is female, withe women being XX, while the Y chromosome is male, with men being XY. The X in a man's DNA comes from his mother, all ova are female. Sperm can be either X or Y. [Ignoring mutations and genetic errors.]

Not sure if that was just a typo on your part, but as written it makes no sense. The easy what to do an F>M transition would be to take a XX zygote and remove some of the DNA from one of the Xs.

Replies:   madnige
madnige ๐Ÿšซ

@Dicrostonyx

The easy what to do an F>M transition would be to take a XX zygote and remove some of the DNA from one of the Xs.

Sounds reasonable, but wouldn't work too well - there have been a large number or mutations on the Y chromosome since its inception that have been assimilated into the genotype, so taking bits from a XX would give an individual with many genetic faults (missing genes) as these 'mutations' would be needed to help the development of the male traits. In the proposed scenario, the AI really would be replacing an X with a synthesised Y to keep all the required genes, even if it starts with an X and heavily edits it.

For interest, the sex-chromosomes in birds are different, called W and Z, where WW is male and WZ is female (again, the Z is a W which lost a bit a long while in the past). Crocodilians are different again - they don't have sex chromosomes, rather the sex is determined by the temperature that the eggs develop at. It's easy to hypothesise that from this environmentally-determined sex, that an individual of that species with a 'broken' chromosome could have a strong tendency to develop as one sex rather than the other, and provided they are not too disadvantaged by the missing genes, that this sex specificity would spread and become fixed in the genotype.

palamedes ๐Ÿšซ

@Soronel

The tv show

The Orville Season 01 Episode 02 - Command Performance

Dicrostonyx ๐Ÿšซ

@Soronel

Properly speaking, horror is similar to erotica in that it's not about the setting but the feeling evoked in the audience. A thriller is a story in which bad things happen to the characters; for it to be horror you must actively be trying to cause the reader to be afraid.

The problem with your idea is that the scary part is in the reveal, not the setting itself. No matter what you do to the characters, if the audience knows what's going on then they aren't going to be scared.

You could write the whole thing as a horror then reveal the alien AI thing at the end as a stinger, Twilight Zone style, but I think that would undercut the horror element because you're revealing the characters to be fictional.

On the flip-side you could write the whole story from the alien's point of view with the audience thinking it's just some AI learning tool being used by a deranged kid, then slowly reveal that what was assumed to be a simulation is actually a population of humans being tortured, but again that's not horror. It's a sci-fi story with a horror stinger.

I think the latter comes closest to what you're trying to achieve, but it's up to you.

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