Forum: Author Hangout

I have recently been watching a lot of the all-time most-highly-rated romantic films, plus a few that didn't reach that status, as part of a class. Everything from Casablanca to When Harry Met Sally. It's been interesting, enjoyable (mostly -- Love Story is sickeningly sweet and An Affair to Remember disgusted me with the lack of commitment and fidelity the main characters evidenced toward their fiancées.)

In reflecting on these, I've extracted the following formula: Witty Banter in Exotic Settings = Falling in Love. At least, that's what screen writers seem to believe, and it seems to work in movies. But, when I take away the power of the visual image of two people seeming to understand each other, the banter, often sarcastic or ironic, especially in more current movies, does NOT seem to indicate growing understanding, affection, and commitment between the characters. I don't like it when people, and especially romantic partners, cannot speak with openness and honesty about their feelings. "Witty banter" in real life just seems like a distancing, defensive technique.

And that made me think about my writing. I tend to have my characters speak from their hearts. Frankly, I haven't been playing with this idea long enough to know whether the overwhelming commitment to witty banter is as common in romance books as it is in movies. Anyone else have thoughts on that.

Also, I'd suggest that a woman who is playing games about her feelings is generally a no-no if the romance is for men. Most men like a woman who says what she means and backs it up with actions. "If you love me say it, then act like it, and I'll do the same." So, I'm suggesting that one characteristic of a romance intended for men is that the communication about feelings is honest and straight forward, no playing games. I guess one possible exception would be when the man clearly understands the woman better than she understands herself, maybe even to the point of telling her what she truly feels at some emotional climax in the story. But that level of power differential is tricky to write and easily off-putting.

Anyway -- do you adore witty banter, or does it sometimes leave you wondering why the characters think they are in love? How do you tend to write the conversations between those engaged in intimate, romantic relationships in your stories? And, is that a conscious choice, dictated by the particular story, or the default for how you prefer such conversations?

I think there is a common plot in Romance which shows the process of becoming affectionate. During that process, the characters are in conflict between showing attraction and fear of being hurt. In a way, flirting is a way to probe the other's interest without committing too much.

That is different from repartee when the characters have already established either friendly or romantic relationship.

I simply can't write dialogue. I'll write 10k words in a 'sitting' but maybe 50 of them will be spoken words.

So what do I do, write everything else first, then and mostly only then do I go back to the less fun lip smacking. I wrote 100k words of 'story' with only an interesting premise and one line of spoken word at either end of it. no it wasn't exactly that simple, but it does describe how I've written the current 'draft' of my in-progress story. I know I have to go back and fill in all the blanks with something with less sarcasm and more tact than the French bombing the rainbow warrior so they could continue blowing up the south pacific, but I suck at it and need all the other cues and counterpoints put down first before I dare look at a double quote.

people I 'chat' with online will tell you I'm brief to the point of near silence. I just can't do the talky talky thing. my first really clear memories are of not being able to 'communicate' with other because they only spoke one language and I spoke four, just that there was no actual overlap. next was being promised a hiding I wouldn't sit down from for a week if I didn't solely speak the arbitrary language which everyone had decided was the local one without consulting me if I agreed or consented.

I hate talking face to face. either I say completely the wrong thing because I have absolutely no filter or I miss some fundamental local parlance. movies don't 'help' they're faker than my plead ignorance on a topic, just because I don't want to 'talk' about it. at least when I write I get spell check and the ability to see what I'm saying. it still comes out with no editor, but at least it's slow enough I catch some of the more egregious mistakes.

people with tips on good dialogue send them my way and hopefully they don't make the same sound as a deadline rushing overhead.

till later, F.