I've read a disturbing number of stories recently in which late-teen or early twenties wanton and virile males, when faced with a gorgeous and willing female, require a blowjob to get hard.
Does anyone else find that unrealistic? Is it perhaps just an authorial artifice to get in the description of a blowjob to pad out the sex scene?
AJ
Me, I would throw in the blow job as a "taking the edge off" so the guy doesn't blow too quickly during the main event, not a necessary to get him up in the first place.
I don't recall seeing what you describe in any of the stories I read here.
ETA: What I can recall seeing is a blow job to get him hard for round 2.
What I can recall seeing is a blow job to get him hard for round 2.
I've seen that too. It strikes me as somewhat less improbable but I still have doubts. Men can have multiple orgasms and still stay hard, it's the ejaculation that requires a refractory period.
AJ
I suspect (maybe I'm wrong?) that the number of men who can reliably achieve an orgasm without ejaculation is relatively low. That's something that's usually either 1) a medical condition (the semen is going somewhere, just not out) or 2) a fairly advanced technique.
So, tossing that out and assuming 'normal guys', blowjob before round 2 is both a fairly common trope and seems likely to work.
For teenagers, the 'taking the edge off' blowjob also is a common trope that seems reasonably reality-based.
2) a fairly advanced technique.
It's bloody hard work.
blowjob before round 2 is both a fairly common trope and seems likely to work
IMO it's only likely to work in the sense of eating up time until the penis-wearer is capable of ejaculation again. Staying hard is just a matter of arousal and blood flow.
AJ
While your mileage may definitely vary, I suspect that 'receiving a blowjob' may have some impact on 'arousal' for most men, compared to 'not receiving a blowjob and just waiting'.
I guess it's easier to stick a soft penis into a mouth than a vagina, but it still smacks of having sex to get aroused to have sex.
One trope/cliche I've seen in sex stories is men preferring blowjobs to vaginal sex. I can understand the other way around, with women preferring to receive oral sex than vaginal sex, because they allegedly are more likely to orgasm through oral sex than vaginal sex. But does that work in the opposite direction - are men more likely to ejaculate from a blowjob than vaginal sex?
AJ
One trope/cliche I've seen in sex stories is men preferring blowjobs to vaginal sex.
One possible explanation, as I understand it in most positions for vaginal sex (there are some exceptions) the man is doing most of the work. For F->M oral, unless it's more of a throat fuck rather than a blowjob, the woman is doing most of the work.
Kind of lazy on the guys part, or maybe he isn't up to regular sex for medical reasons.
But does that work in the opposite direction - are men more likely to ejaculate from a blowjob than vaginal sex?
I'm sure it's probably a small minority, but yes. The argument/ description I've heard from a friend is that he prefers the unpredictability of it. Intercourse is just rubbing back and forth while the entire penis is in a sleeve, basically. Oral has differing elements from the tongue, roof of the mouth, etc.
Again, his words, and there may be some psychological elements to this (ie, he thinks oral is better so he prefers the experience more).
Also, the guy in question is female-preferring bisexual, so that may affect things.
One trope/cliche I've seen in sex stories is men preferring blowjobs to vaginal sex. I can understand the other way around, with women preferring to receive oral sex than vaginal sex, because they allegedly are more likely to orgasm through oral sex than vaginal sex. But does that work in the opposite direction - are men more likely to ejaculate from a blowjob than vaginal sex?
I can't speak to others, however, I do enjoy Blowjobs more than vaginal sex! Don't get me wrong, I often enjoy vaginal sex too. I just enjoy receiving a blowjob more (usually).
I suppose it may be because my first "serious" girlfriend (with whom we shared oral, and eventually vaginal sex) she provided me blowjobs "as a reward" for a plethora of things. Mostly for pleasuring her. I have often really enjoyed pleasuring my partner. My first girlfriend and I discussed quite a bit about various types of sex before engaging in sex. We were still (somewhat) ignorant teenagers; but at least we were a little less ignorant than many.
I was ignorant about how much "Girls Talk" but I was the beneficiary of that! I suspect a major reason my girlfriend stuck with me for years was listening to the tales of her girl friends about boys who boast (about sexual escapades true and false). Also, how little many boys are about providing pleasure to their sexual partners. I Knew I was Enjoying a Hotter and in many ways Better Young Woman than I was likely too!
Fucking for me was more about providing pleasure for my partner! Of course, I enjoyed fucking a girl's/young woman's pussy! However, I had learned that many women don't get much pleasure out of vaginal sex (primarily due to inexperienced/inattentive boys). So, to this day, when engaged in vaginal sex I am focused on pleasuring my partner. I enjoy it too; however, receiving a blowjob is largely about my pleasure!
I have been lucky to enjoy the attentions of several women who enjoy giving blowjobs. (Some, even more than other forms of sex; for different reasons.) Often, I get a blowjob before vaginal sex (either to completion, or just as foreplay). Sometimes I do not achieve orgasm during vaginal sex, as I am too focused upon providing pleasure to my partner. (Since I am not married, I want my partners to want to have sex with me.) Often, I receive a blowjob after our mutual pleasure, as a "thank you" for getting my partner off.
"Different Strokes for Different Folks!"
Some people enjoy anal sex... ("shudder") I find it quite uncomfortable to stick my dick into some woman's ass. I have never experienced even a woman's finger in my ass during sex. Having to endure a finger in my ass for prostate and other medical exams has always been an Unpleasant experience. Nor am I into BDSM, I enjoy Pleasure, NOT pain! (I realize some people enjoy various aspects other than pain in BDSM; some even enjoy just a bit of pain. "Oh, Please Just a LITTLE Peril!") I have used bondage upon some partners, for the pleasure of those partners.
Anywho, my two cents on preference for blowjobs.
I have heard stories about how the effects of easily available internet porn available may be desensitizing males. I have no idea how accurate it is.
Does anyone else find that unrealistic?
Yes. But if you want to write a really boring story, make it 100% realistic.
Fiction is much more interesting than real life.
Fiction is much more interesting than real life.
There seems to be a very fine line between 'interesting' and 'ridiculous', when it comes to erotic fiction.
Of course it's boring to write about average sex, where the women don't like to swallow and the guy is done after five minutes of missionary. But at the same time, when I read about a guy's 12-inch dick that every women is able to effortlessly take, that just makes me stop reading. Not because it's an overused trope, but because I could just as well watch some senseless porn instead.
Now, to answer OP's intial question:
Yes, it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story.
It makes me think about why the author chose that kind of development. And the only two explanations I can come up with, are that the author is either a 50+ year old with ED, writing down his own power fantasies about his missed youth, or a younger guy who only knows about sex from porn, and thinks it's normal for all men to be so aquainted with sex they need direct physical stumulation to get into the mood.
a very fine line between 'interesting' and 'ridiculous', when it comes to erotic fiction
Why limit it to erotic fiction?
How about a thriller where the hero is beaten senseless and then all of a sudden gets the upper hand and wins the fight. For that matter, getting slugged on the back of the head with an aluminum baseball bat and simply staggers. Or the Rambo type battles. Or the romance genre where the two instantly fall in love. Or the old Western movies where the cowboy seems to never run out of bullets in his six-shooter unless the scene calls for it. And so on.
To enjoy fiction, the reader should suspend disbelief. To a point, anyway.
Or in US crime dramas where suspects are almost always at home (does nobody work in America) and waiting just behind their front door so they can respond in five seconds.
AJ
require a blowjob to get hard.
Considering the reports of low testosterone in young males these days, it may not be too far fetched.
Low T + Too much porn + excessive masturbatoy habit could produce the scenario that the author is describing.
Low T + Too much porn + excessive masturbatoy habit could produce the scenario that the author is describing.
Okay, first of all, Testosterone is the leading driving force for the male sexdrive. So, low T and excessive masturbation are mutually exclusive concepts.
Secondly, none of the studies I ever read to the topic of porn consumption ever suggested that it could possibly have the effect you just claimed it to have. Yes, excessive consumption can cause desensitization to the topic, but not to the act itself. They lose their inhibitions, not their urge to experience it themselves.
@Switch Blayde
Why limit it to erotic fiction?
Because very few people READ Action-Novels. For the exact reasons you just listed off in your post. It makes no sense. If you put it in a movie, the viewer can turn off their brain and enjoy the pretty explosions. Visual satisfaction, that doesn't require you to use your imagination and allows you to concentrate on what you see.
Same concept with porn. Doesn't matter if the story makes sense or is realistic, I'm there to SEE some titties, not to listen to dialogue.
Suspension of disbelief is important, I fully agree on that. But I also agree on your very last statement: That the reader should only be required to suspend his disbelief to a point.
Because very few people READ Action-Novels.
Thrillers are the novels of my choice. And romance novels probably have the highest sales of any genre.
Lee Child once explained his Jack Reacher character. He created a character who could not lose. Realistic? Of course not. But that was his decision and it works.
Bookstore-genre-wise there are two categories here (I think): 'thriller' and 'action'. 'Action' is more the pure genre series which run into the dozens or hundreds of sequels.
It's fairly accurate to say that 'very few people read action-novels' if one looks at it that way (but, obviously, they're easily profitable enough to keep right on publishing them).
Thrillers, however, are very popular and have lots of readers (and have similar issues to 'pure action'). Indeed, a lot of things in 'pure action' are adjacent to or overlapping 'gun porn', where failing to accurately count the number of bullets would be a cardinal sin.
And, yes, romance novel sales are incredibly robust, even while even many of the readers are perfectly well aware of how completely unrealistic they are.
Which, in turn, reminds me of the joke about watching a Hallmark Christmas romance in reverse: 'I watched the main character dump their significant other, leave their small town to move to the big city, and launch an incredibly successful career.'
overlapping 'gun porn', where failing to accurately count the number of bullets would be a cardinal sin.
There was an episode of Hawaii five-o based around a loaner gun that had shot McGarret's dad. They made a big point of it only firing six bullets so it was of little interest to big-time career criminals.
Danno arrived at a house where the suspect was expected, and we heard three shots 'fired inside'. Then Danno and the suspect indulged in a gun battle in which the suspect fired at Danno four times. I guess it was a baker's half-dozen ;-)
AJ
I watched "The Rock" the other night. That's the one where Sean Connery had escaped from Alcatraz years before and they got him out of jail to help them break into it.
There was a scene where they were in a locked underground room. There were spinning blades with bursts of flames. He had memorized the timing of it and rolled through it. Then he unlocked the door from the other side and let the SEALs in.
I said to my wife, "That's a plot error. If he was able to unlock the door from the other side he wouldn't have had to go through the spinning blades and fire when he escaped."
She said, "You say that every time we watch it. It's just a story."
I said to my wife, "That's a plot error. If he was able to unlock the door from the other side he wouldn't have had to go through the spinning blades and fire when he escaped."
The control for the blades and fire could be tied to both doors. That is you open one door and the blades and fire activate then you have to open the other door to turn them off. With that set up, it wouldn't matter which direction you were going.
The control for the blades and fire could be tied to both doors.
Only he went through the blades/fire. Everyone else went through the door he unlocked from the other side. (The side he should have come through when he was escaping — now they were going in the opposite direction to break in rather than break out.)
It was an exciting scene and helped show Connery's skills. Was it accurate? Nope. But as my wife said, just sit back and enjoy the story.
They made a big point of it only firing six bullets. Danno arrived at a house where the suspect was expected, and we heard three shots 'fired inside'. Then Danno and the suspect indulged in a gun battle in which the suspect fired at Danno four times.
Most descriptions of a firearm include how many bullets fit in a Standard magazine. In most semiautomatic firearms (or fully automatic) you can chamber a round, then remove the magazine and "top it off" getting 6+1.
Extended magazines are also available for many pistols. Extended magazines may be a complication to a "standard" holster; but not if it is kept in a drawer, or some other handy place.
Some civilian shotguns come with a "plug" to conform to State Hunting Regulations; but if used for self defense the plug may be removed. Also, many pump or semiautomatic shotguns have optional (tube) magazine extensions; some may be Extended beyond the end of the barrel.
I have met several LEOs (and Legislaters) who weren't aware of these facts!
I would enjoy a TV cop show or movie, where the bad guy shoots a lot more bullets than the cops (think) they "know" the gun the had guy used in a previous crime.
One cop says, "Didn't you Know that there are more than one model of Glock, and some hold Twice as many bullets!"
Cop two, "But California Law regulates a Maximum of Ten bullets!"
Cop one, "Murder is illegal too. I guess after Murdering several people, he figured violating more laws was no big deal."
"Murder is illegal too. I guess after Murdering several people, he figured violating more laws was no big deal."
I actually laughed out loud this morning when I read this, because it's SO true. Especially in the Granola State!
low T and excessive masturbation are mutually exclusive concepts.
Nope.
I've had low T since shortly before graduating from college, courtesy of testicular cancer, an orchiectomy (removal of a testicle), and chemotherapy. Never had an issue with my sex drive or my ability to sexually satisfy any of my wives. Or father two children even though I should've been sterile.
I've had low T since shortly before graduating from college, courtesy of testicular cancer, an orchiectomy (removal of a testicle), and chemotherapy. Never had an issue with my sex drive or my ability to sexually satisfy any of my wives. Or father two children even though I should've been sterile.
I'm happy for you. Now, one major sign of excessive masturbation is that you masturbate so much, you have trouble getting it up when it matters, because you were unable to allow your parts sufficient rest.
You just confirmed that you were never an excessive masturbator.
excessive masturbator
Define excessive masturbation.
I had cancer when I was 21. I didn't get married until I was 26. I had several YEARS of recovery, due to the thoracotomy. Right hand and lotion (or not) was VERY useful.
It's also age related. When I was 14, three to four times per day was normal.
I can relate to a teen boy/young man receiving a blowjob to "take the edge off" so they are better able to satisfy their partner, and not getting off in about 5 minutes.
I only had one girlfriend in high school, with whom I had sex. We dated for more than 2 years. It was about a year before we progressed to oral sex. Foreplay and oral sex were part of when we eventually began F@cking.
Foreplay and oral sex would stimulate her, whereas I would cum rather quickly with a blowjob. But then I was better able to focus on her pleasure. Because we always used a codom back then, and she was good at communicating what brought her pleasure; we would get her off. If I didn't cum with her, she would then give me a second blowjob.
We were lucky that we were not rushed. We had time to learn what pleasured each other. Males being easier to orgasm. I believed I was, if not quite out of my league, I was at the pinnacle. In my ignorance, I didn't realize how important my not blabbing, and making efforts to pleasure her; as well as how much fun we had in non-sexual activities were to her.
While both of us were often capable of multiple orgasms; they often were not at the same pace. So, we both made efforts to ensure we were both satisfied by the end of a session. Afterplay was nearly as important, for her in particular.
Anyway, Foreplay, oral sex, and Afterplay are often beneficial for fumbling teens as they learn to pleasure each other. Getting the guy off early can make a guy better able to focus, instead of being in a hormone tempest.
I've read a disturbing number of stories recently in which late-teen or early twenties wanton and virile males, when faced with a gorgeous and willing female, require a blowjob to get hard.
It's required in movie porn: blowjob, position 1, position 2, position 3, blowjob to bring him off.
ETA: With a quick break for him to go down on her, just to make it realistic.
~ JBB