I have spent a good chunk of time working with an editor to clean up the story, Kylie. We worked together to really improve chapter 14 from the onset, and I think it's a huge improvement over the previous chapters.
Huge shout-out to Nemo, they are a phenomenal editor!
Considering that, we've also tackled chapter 1 to improve it and, I think, greatly improve the pacing and fixing a ton of inconsistencies. Eventually, I'd like to bring all of the posted chapters up to the same level.
I would love any feedback anyone has on the new version of chapter 1!
Thanks