I've never had any chapter so deeply and thoroughly scrutinized by my friends. Good god, this was a process, but it's done. Chapters 9, 10, and 11 for "The Rat and the Dragon" have been replaced.
The only real change to chapter 9 is the mentions of food and a few minor fixes to adjust things. It's really chapters 10 and 11 that have the greatest changes. The vibe is totally different. My biggest hold ups for the chapter (besides time) were what to do about protection and not just fucking her on the cold hard ground. Well, I figured those out together with one spell and things just fell together from there. Yes, I did use a lot of the parts from the previous, rearranged some of the sentences, replaced some words.
Every sentence of this was followed and commented on. I'd get a text at 10 pm "Why does he still say that?" What? "That pussy thing. It's creepy." OMG. He's dirty talking. Stop it! Leave it alone. "Where's the afterglow?" WHAT!? Why is that necessary? Rape ain't comfy! "It's a sex fantasy. Cmon." Uuugh, okay, there's a sentence about it now. Everybody happy? "One thumbs up, because the other one is busy." Alright! I win! And just wash your hands! XD
I have fun friends. Some of them even make it into my stories. Looking at you, Nathilin....
So, I hope those of you who enjoy the story will consider going back and reading over it. My friends are by no means editors, it was all simple feedback. Like a non-native English speaking friend of mine pointed out a couple spots where he didn't understand the subtlety of English, so I bulked up the description. A lot of the "slimy" verbiage was taken out as per pointers given. Some things I kept because it's my story, damn it! At least, that's what I thought....
I hope you guys like the changes!
Oh, I just wanted to add, in case there's any of you who like to hear the songs that went along with various scenes. When I actually had the time to sit and listen to music while writing, the two songs I played the most to stick with the vibe were "Revelations 22:20" by Puscifer and "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo. Really good songs if you've never heard them.