A few weeks ago, I asked for a second set of eyes to help me read and review my stories for grammar. It's helped tremendously but today I have to make some edits to many of my existing stories, or edit unpublished ones that are written and that is boring.
I also have some real life things I NEED to actually complete.
What I WANT to do is write. It's cathartic and enjoyable. The problem I have been having lately is Analysis Paralysis.
This is really almost as bad as having no inspiration but not quite as bad as having no motivation to write. I can easily fix the lack of inspiration by reading new stories. I won't copy their idea but they will trigger thoughts and directions and that is why I vowed to try and read as much as I write when I began this journey as an author on SOL.
I have yet to cure lack of motivation. The evidence is I am writing a blog when there is a stump outside I need to remove and I need to register for college classes and I've had trouble doing school work, working and getting time to do what I want - write.
As an aside, I am crazy old but I decided to go back and finally get the degree that I should have had. At first, I was going to get an MBA because my retirement plan is "Work until the day I die. I'll ask my boss if I can leave early around 3pm, so I can get embalmed/cremated for my funeral later that evening."
Then I took actual business classes and the world MAY have worked the way they say it does. "Oh, okay...wages will go up with the cost of living because competition? Lol."
When you realize one company owns over 50% of the products in your grocery store, or the pharmacy owns the insurance company, the clinics, the manufacturer, etc and the distribution chain of your medications it's an oligarchy/monopolistic market with price fixing where the game is so rigged they can just squeeze and squeeze your ass tighter and tighter, the macroeconomics lessons become quaint fantasies. All nine car rental companies pretend to compete but are owned by three companies at most.
However, when you realize that those massive juggernauts that bought all their competitors and the distribution chain to prevent competition, price fix and reduce service levels and costs and raise prices with the handful of competitors they have yet to buy it's still modeled in the books. It's supposed to be regulated but they bought those regulators and staffed them with their own people, as well.
What isn't in the books I read was that the controlling interest of those juggernauts like Microsoft, Google, and Apple are owned by two private equity firms. They don't give one turd on a Saturday that you chose Coke over Pepsi. They own them both. They make money no matter what you choose. Some private equity firms buy American companies, saddle them with the cost of being bought and then make them pay rent back to the private equity firm until they go into massive debt so they can declare bankruptcy and transfer the debt/sell off the best parts of the company. Then they buy those profitable segments with another company at a fraction of what they were worth without debt.
I'd love to teach people about that, but the book says they can't happen or doesn't model the scenario - so fuck the book. The billionaire who pays his friend's wife 100K to paint a turd on a painting can donate it to their non profit art gallery and write it off. His buddy can do the same for him. They rigged money laundering and tax loopholes in a way that is beyong criminal. I would not be teaching that in my syllabus.
I am working on a Masters in History. Unfortunately, the billionaires don't want us to teach that truthfully, either. My plan is to give back as an adjunct professor and do my best to tell the truth as I understand it, anyway.
Instead of accomplishing that lofty goal this afternoon, I am not editing. I am not even writing my dirty stories. I am sitting here writing a blog about writing.
A week ago, I asked for someone to apply as "Muse". I needed a fan of my writing who I could show ideas and who would help me overcome my Choice Paralysis. They could even help shape the direction the stories go in with creative feedback. The editing help I receive is from people kind enough to read my work that aren't really into my work.
I have 1,150 followers on Storiesonline, but not one taker who likes my work enough to want an advanced copy and seriously apply for the job. The responses I got were mostly generic "Write whatever you want".
I have dozens of "Write whatever you wants" that aren't finished on my hard drive and many are because I began by writing by the seat of my pants. I had no plan or outline and I just started writing. It can be fun to do and it can turn out in an unexpected way. Outlines can spoil the surprise for me and I lose interest in writing the ending because I know how it ends. This is especially true of Aunt Scarlet, New Foal, Sailor Moo, Spanksgiving and Girl Scout Cookies which have been sitting way too long without conclusion. I do plan to finish those but I could use a muse to look at them and help push me toward the end.
I put them aside in part because I had inspiration to write, just not THAT story. If I try to write a story I am not feeling then I tend to rush it and tack on an ending and that doesn't help anyone.
Even worse than in having no inspiration to write is wanting to write a different story.
In the immortal words of England Dan and John Ford Coley "It's sad to belong when the right one comes along".
I have these new ideas that I will give you a short synopsis about that I do want to write. I realize I should finish the existing stories but sometimes I write a short story to help get it out of my system. (Short story is a relative term of me, most of my "Short Stories" end up being twelve chapters or more).
If I have too many ideas, I tend to MERGE them into one story. Embarrassed Nude Female (ENF) with reluctant nude girls, and CMNF (Clothed Males around Nude Females) are my preferred genre. I do tend to focus on other kinks, power dynamics, but those type of stories are what turn my screw.
Merging two story ideas is usually a huge mistake. As an example, I have this idea:
THE MAD SCIENTIST/PLAYING DOCTOR:
I have had it in many iterations, but the general idea is that the storyteller gets to perform little experiments on a female(s).
A good example, would be the older sister is in Pre-Med and she isn't babysitting but when mom and dad are gone, she's in charge of her younger brother. She might have him jerk off and studying his cum as she feeds him more and more soy, or test how he gets hard based on certain stimuli. She might zap his cock with a little shock, or even stick something up his butt to stimulate his prostate and measure the output of semen and frequency he can get it up.
There are a thousand ways that can go, and types of tests she could conduct. The general idea would be early on in the story she is caught by the very intelligent parents, who decide the proper punishment is for him to turn the tables and use her as a lab rat. They point out that doing it in private was dangerous, so he'll submit his hypothesis to them and they'll review it.
Then I have this idea about getting caught playing doctor with my cousins that is basically a true story. My Aunt once walked in and caught us and said "UNDERWEAR STAYS ON, SHERRY!" and closed the door rather than punish us. "If you want to go without underwear, you'll come in the living room and stand in front of your aunts and uncles with your undies around your ankles!" she warned.
That's a very different scenario. I have combined them both and they may end up being over the top and not nearly land as well as if they were treated on their own.
I have thought about more of an advanced science experiment one where weights are used to stretch labia, and nipples and that would drastically change the tone of the story. The reason behind the participation is also going to change the dynamic drastically.
Imagine a fun bimbo where the story blindfolded her and snapped his fingers at various angles around her head. Maybe, he poked her bare back simultaneously with two toothpicks, asking her to identify if she felt one point or two, demonstrating how her nerve endings clustered. She giggles and agrees to participate and it escalates versus a Goth chick who loves danger answering a personal ad and being unimpressed by his caution.
Authentic Femdom
I have wanted to write real femdom for a while. The problem is that when you write femdom there are some man babies who are going to come out of the woodwork to bomb your story score and hassle you. They have little power in the real world, so to them this is their way of protecting their virginity/manhood, I guess.
They can't just accept different strokes for different folks, see the story code is not for them and leave it alone. I suspect they have ready made troll accounts to bomb vote stories as "punishment". I have known several new authors who wrote good Femdom that were ran off by the welcome they got here from the toxic trolls. 99.9% of SOL isn't shit, but that.1% vocal group is loud and annoying.
Most Femdom does BDSM and power exchange relationships a tremendous dis-service. Men are traditionally raised we have to be in charge in the bedroom. We can't let go, we need control. We have to be the shade tree that stands tall, not the willow that bends. We pick where to go for dinner on the date and have a plan. We are head of household, etc.
It goes against that training to submit, and submission is often seen as a weakness because of making yourself vulnerable. This is where most BDSM relationships fail - the inability to trust the other person to make decisions for us. The inability to put the happiness or pleasure of someone else over ours. It's often cast as "I get pleasure from giving pleasure" but in the best case, service is really "I don't do this to get off, I do this to get you off. I don't do this to make me smile, I do this to make you smile. Your happiness is important to me."
You do not have to be a doormat and shouldn't be one. You do not have to be a depressing debbie downer that lives as a maid. You can have a great life as a submissive if you truly want to be one. The problem is the idea of placing the woman on a pedestal and truly living for happiness is so difficult for many men to process they have to write blackmail or submission as a consequence of their infedility that is forced upon them.
Most Dommes are written as cartoon nymphomaniacs that make Snidely Whiplash and his top hat/mustache evil seem like Ned Flanders. They are motivated to fuck anyone but the submissive and treat them like a worm.
This is a powerful fantasy and I get it. I really do. What I have discovered is that is a fantasy, not the reality.
If you wrote the fantasy story in reverse with the man in charge, it would come across as him being a narcissistic, selfish asshole. The same men that get off on the powerful woman would find the man's actions reprhensible and there is a reason why.
They are, no matter what your gender. It's not a healthy, sustainable relationship to be blackmailed into doing this.
Most dominant women that I know of are far more complex and they might fuck others but that's not the goal. Sex is a byproduct of this relationship, not the goal. They want to polish their husband and make him the man they always wanted to be. That is rarely feminization.
I once knew a Domme that told her husband she wasn't turning him into a woman. "Women have power, and are beautiful. You can't pass as a woman and you would be embarrassing for me to take into public like this. I am feminizing you, not transforming you. I want you to shave your hairs smooth, paint your nails, make yourself smell nice, trim your nails and paint them, apply make up, wear heels and all the things that women have to do to look good for you so that you can appreciate how much we go through."
That I can believe.
There was this guy BydaSea on here who wrote a semi-autobiographical story. I am sure there was some truth to it but not all of it. No one could write misery and humiliation like him because of the way he seemed to languish in it. However, even his story lacked some of what I think most women in these relationships find works for them.
They don't want to yell or deal with a brat. They don't want to punish. They don't do protocol all the time.
What's the one thing thing common to most maledom relationships? Sir and Ma'am? No clothes or at the vey least no panties?
You won't find many female dommes that want their man skidmarking his jeans and getting cum stains without undies on between them.
It's far more likely to be a cute apron with his ass hanging out than nude at home. It's far more likely she wants him to actually put on a fucking clean shirt when they go out to eat without being told to do so, than she wants him in a skirt or panties.
Don't get me wrong, there are some couples where the guy is on board with being transformed anyway, and it works for them. Forced feminization to remove his swaggering masculinity is a powerful fantasy. My experience has been she'd rather he open doors for her, draw her a bath and give her the gift of silence without talking as she decompresses as he attends her in the bath.
I started writing a healthy, happy relationship with two friends that are domme who came at it for different reasons but similar outcomes. The problem is that I want to do ENF/CMNF and so I started to slip that into the story, perhaps subconsciously because the pace of a real life scenario like that would be hard to sustain interest.
"If this works for our husbands, and they are attentive, cheerful, don't feel the need to talk over us anymore, and can trust us to know what's best, why shouldn't we teach our sons to be that way?"
Not in a sexual context. I am talking about how in just by giving girls "Dolls" and Boys "Action Figures" and defining what is expected of them, concepts like "Women's work" and the ambition to be a good wife/mother and domestically trained, people have had different rules for females and males in the house.
A great illustration is in the 1960s, Milton Bradley's Battleship game featured the caption "Fun for the whole family"
Dad and son are playing a strategic game of naval battles and mathematical prediction that sharpens their analytical puzzle solving abilities.
The mom and sister are smiling and observing from the kitchen while polishing dishes.
That was the ONE drawing they had to tell families that this was fun for all of them?
Writing authentic stores from my part, mixed with hypothetical is probably 90% of my writing but merging several ideas into one stories can get confusing and lose focus. It's a fine line between writing yourself into a corner because you don't know where to go next after the initial scene.
Example, What if the moms decide that the girls should be in charge when they aren't home, pick out their sons wardrobes because they dress like colorblind dickheads that can't coordinate their own outfits. What if they decide that boys dont need modesty but girls do (The opposite of many of my stories).
The problem is that those are two very different stories. One is probably far more fantasy based.
I've also had some other ideas. I'll share two of them with you.
"I am a glutton for punishment, obviously"
Years ago, I met a joyful British woman that I can only describe as "Cheeky" because American words don't do justice. She's the kind of woman that will flash her tits for a "laugh" and has never met a stranger.
She's very self-deprecating and she will say "There's nothing anyone can say to hurt me, that I've not said about myself. I know am a great gobby cow and the town bike. Anyone can have me for a wink and a whistle, but who would?"
If you don't hear the smile in her voice when she says that, you'd think this is a depressed woman with really low self-esteem. It landed as a joyful celebration that she's not perfect, not trying to be, doesn't want to have smoke blown up her arse about ow she's not fat when she's got eyes and a mirror (her words), and is flirty right in front of her husband without fear he'll lose interest in her.
I have written two versions of her over the years. Joy Crump in "My Sons Dared Me" is close.
https://storiesonline.net/s/28287/my-sons-dared-me
I have another I took down that I should repost where she decides "Right, off with your knickers...today we are taking snaps around the house" to her daughters. "You'll thank me later. Jack takes great pics and before you lot get old and saggy and move away, we'll have these to share and you'll want to see what you had before your fat arses spread like mine."
I adore the cheeky Janet character from Two Pints of Lager and a packet of crisps television show. I wrote her like that.
It wasn't quite what I was going for though. I wanted someone who truly reveled in it and found it hard (impossible) to say no.
I placed her in small town Georgia in the deep south with her daughter. She was a single mum at an early age, kicked out by her parents and roamed around with no homebase until arriving here. Her point is that no one would ask her to marry her, because she's not been serious about it, and she's not brought it up. "Most men would spread me like jam on a biscuit, but neat eat me, much less marry me."
One guy who is a total sad sack asks her to marry him as a joke. She is way out of his league physically. She has a hard time saying no.
Her very serious mother-in-law to be thinks she is up to something -maybe a green card. She isn't willing to admit the adult son that lives at home and hasn't dated anyone before isn't a catch out loud but she doesn't believe this woman could want him.
The self-deprecation confuses the family, and she says things like "i am a glutton for punishment, obviously" as a figure of speech but coupled with her inability to say no, and her "Crack on and muddle through" cheeky attituded, leads to the mother in law testing just how far she'll go to be with her son.
The problem is that I go back to the first idea of science experiments and think "Wow, I could probably have the mother in law humiliate the sexy Judy Landers-look-alike daughter in law with the bright and shiny bimbo attitude. Then when I get tired of that, I could have the smart family member ask her to be his lab rat.
"May as well add that to my resume as well...what do i have to do?"
I could go back to the story above this and make the mother-in-law be a domme without officially calling herself that, and exert control over her adult sons much like a ball busting fantasy domme would. She my not have the default title of mistress, but a dynamic hold over the house as the matriarch.
GOING DUTCH
I like this title. It can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.
The other idea I've been futzing with is an authentic NL story. Most of my stories are set in the United States and a few in the UK. I don't know the UK very well but well enough.
I've been to Netherlands and Belgium, but not long enough to really know it. I've met many Scandinavians over the years, Finnish, Swedes, and I've found that Dutch people are different and while they aren't technically Scandinavian, it's hard to ignore that many Dutch men women are super tall blondes much like their northern cousins. It's just like Belgians. The Flemish near the border of NL are hard for me to tell the difference.
If you told a Texan, their BBQ is the same as Saint Louis or South Carolina they'd be offended. The southern accent from mid Tennessee is very different from mid-Georgia. To most outsiders, it's probably hard to tell the difference.
I can tell.
If a British person doesn't speak very posh, or like Michael Caine, I generally couldn't tell you where they are from. I have been confused by people from South Africa and thought THEY were British, so I have no fucking clue.
The Dutch stereotype (to me) is there are more direct, pragmatic and cost conscious. Many Scandinavians take a very enlightened view of nudity. The sauna culture in Germany is that many saunas have a strict nudity policy and
they are co-ed. Co-ed changing rooms, etc. In other places like Finland or Sweden it's not always the case but culturally most of think bathing suits are oddly sexual and unhygienic.
The opportunity to create an ENF/CMNF story is there by having an American(s) visit their Dutch relatves, who may even be living in the states.
In Lake Worth area of Florida, there is a huge Finnish community. I was picturing maybe a brother and sister arriving for the summer and they go to the beach in the 1970s. I used to go to the beach with my aunt and i remember her telling me and my cousins to strip off at the shower on the little walkway between beach and parking lot to wash up.
"Eddie, I am not having you in a wet suit in the back of my car spreading your sandy ass all over my seat cushions! We do this all the time, and nobody out here gives a shit. You don't have anything between your legs to hide that anyone out here wants to see...now, if you are worried about anyone laughing at you, talk back to me again and tell me you aren't doing something. You aren't so big I can't take your britches down and spank that flat ass of yours out here in front of everyone!"
A good old fashioned ENF story where they really think Americans are the ones that are far too repressed uptight. She might get pushback from some ninny and say "If you don't like it, don't look but mind your own business, please."
In the 1970s, the "Girls Don't Need modesty" applied to both genders. They could run around in the sprinklers in just panties or nothing at all in the front yard, slip and slide in the plastic pool, and no one was shocked. Gym Shorts were short-shorts. Bras were rare and nipples poking through tight little green tube tops that just wrapped around the chest on a hot day weren't scandalous. Buying a bra for a girl with little tits would have been like buying pants for a dog to hide it's dick.
I could write an authentic ENF story, but the ideas above start matriculating into this one. I could see the story not having enough juice without some predicament and getting dull. In the scenario I described, nothing happened.
I saw my cousin's bald, hairless pussy, and engorged clit and thought she had a very tiny penis. I hadn't even seen a Playboy at that point as a frame of reference. I even said that and she blushed, and my aunt told me that my wiener wasn't that much bigger and to stop staring at each other and get in the back of the car. "You know what she's got, she knows what you got. Mystery solved, now let's get home, chores need to be done before your Uncle gets home."
I think writing stories from my own experiences adds authenticity, but the problem is that they just aren't as exciting without a little extra "What if?" thrown in.
So now that you know what Eddie's thinking about cooking, feel free to write to me with your own take/preference. Most of the time, by the time i start publishing a story, it's been written and I am just editing. If you want to be in the creative pipeline and you don't want to write, here is your opportunity to be an armchair quarterback.
I began this email to a friend but I thought I'd share it. I have a few other ideas in the hopper, but this is enough to get the ball rolling.