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Tab, You’re it!

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This is number 119 in the blog series, “My Life in Erotica.” I encourage you to join my Patreon community to support my writing.


OH, WHAT’S THAT THING CALLED? It was right on the tip of my tongue!

Of course, you don’t have to be 75 to forget what things are called, but it helps. That’s why I constantly have a browser open to search for terms.

That’s not the only reason. I write stories. My stories have been set in Indiana, Minnesota, Washington, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, England, Germany, Greece, and various places I don’t recall at the moment. And people call things different names in different places.

My post about Stocks & Blondes (Wayzgoose) last week was what sparked this post. In one of the early chapters of that story, my Seattle-based detective, Deb Riley, is stopped by a policeman because her license tabs had expired.

I received multiple corrections. The date sticker that is attached to a license plate, I was told, is called a ‘tag,’ not a ‘tab.’ Well, that depends on where you are located.

In the State of Washington, the standard term is ‘tabs.’ The same is true in Minnesota. In Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana, they are simply referred to as ‘stickers.’ Indiana refers to the plate itself as a tab and tag is used to identify a temporary license.

Who knew?

I did. That’s why there is an open browser window on my desktop.

What do you drink? Pop, soda, soft drink, coke, or seltzer?
What do you sit on? Sofa, couch, davenport, divan, chesterfield, or your ass?
Do you eat a hoagie or a submarine or a torpedo or a hero sandwich?



When I wrote the Team Manager series, I decided to set it in Iowa for no other reason than that I hadn’t written a story set there before. I really didn’t know much about the state before I started writing. I assumed (incorrectly) that it was a midwestern state pretty much like Indiana.

One thing I got right was that basketball is very big in Iowa. But I also discovered that everything I knew about the sport was outdated! The idea that an Iowa high school of any size wouldn’t have a girls’ basketball team when the story was set in or about 2019, was absurd! You’d be better to say girls’ basketball started in Iowa!

And Division III NCAA basketball is huge in Iowa. If you’d suggested a year earlier that I would be able to name all the schools and their team names in the American Rivers Conference, I’d have laughed my head off. And then to discover the Iowa phenomenon, Caitlin Clark! I became an instant fan of the Hawkeyes and now of the WNBA. I confess that the feat I managed in 2019 of being able to name the schools in the American Rivers Conference has now been duplicated with the teams of the WNBA.

But basketball teams and players were not the only thing I had to learn. In Iowa, you sit on a couch. You drink pop, usually from a can. Your girlfriend or boyfriend is your Bae. The number one livestock raised in Iowa is pigs. The number one crop is corn. The state pretty much shuts down for the girls’ high school basketball tournament. And for the State Fair. Being the Pork Queen is a great honor.

If I had decided to set that story in Georgia, everything would have been different.

The Team Manager series is available from ZBookStore.

My most recent work, Forever Yours, is set in Pittsburgh, PA. Why? I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I finished the final draft of that book this week and it has begun public serialization on StoriesOnline today. Like right now! My Sneak Peek and Sausage Grinder patrons are a couple of weeks ahead of that!

I had set Nathan Everett’s (Wayzgoose) City Limits in a fictional town in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I decided to set this one in the Southwestern part of the state.

By the way, in both Iowa and Pennsylvania, the sticker is called a tag, you sit on a couch, and you drink pop, mostly. According to state tax laws, Pennsylvanians also have sparkling water, mineral water, soda water, and similar carbonated and non-carbonated drinks. The distinction the tax law makes is that sales tax is collected on carbonated drinks. However, flavored water (non-carbonated by definition) is not taxed. Sparkling water is usually referred to as seltzer.

There are regional differences within the state. In the western part of the state, they drink pop. In the eastern part, they drink soda. The same regional differences are found between sneakers or tennis shoes, trash can or garbage can, tractor trailer or semi. The state is united on the term hoagie, however.

It is not unlikely that I’ll still have made some errors in terms that I failed to look up. And when my characters travel to Lisa’s home state of Louisiana, all bets are off. Her maternal grandparents are of Cajun lineage, so they are more likely to serve chicory than coffee. Henry could have problems with that! And if they want a soft drink, they’ll just order a coke (generic through the South). If they just order ‘tea,’ it will be roughly fifty percent sugar!


Since it is a release day for Forever Yours, albeit only of the serialization, I’ll spend a few lines promoting it. The book is not yet available in either eBook or print as the final chapters are still being edited.

I’ve been fascinated with the concept of The Singularity for a number of years. In 2006, Bill Gates called Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Singularity is Near, one of the most important books of the century. So, I read it. All 650 pages, including 105 pages of footnotes! I’ve begun at least three different stories based on the concept of a technology-biology link-up of some sort. There have been stories like that for many years. I never intended Forever Yours to be a book about The Singularity.

It surprised me.

One of the things I’ve pointed out frequently is that no matter how much of your life—even linking your brain—you upload to a computer, you don’t live forever. When you die, you die. That electronic device may contain all your memories, and also know more than you, think faster than you, and even make moral and ethical decisions better than you. But it isn’t you.

In Forever Yours, computer genius Henry Pascal starts a company based on concepts of a Small Language Model instead of the prevailing chatbot Large Language Models, because individual humans don’t know everything. I’ve always been amused by ‘do-over’ stories in which the hero sent back in time has Wikipedic knowledge of everything that happened during his first life. If he didn’t have the knowledge and skills to invent the personal computer in his first life, it is unlikely that he acquired them in his second.

We are a specialized species. I take my car to a mechanic. I visit a doctor. I call a plumber. I hire an artist. I don’t know how many microns to set my points at, or if my vehicle even has points anymore. I can’t write code other than fundamental html. I could no more create an artificial intelligence program than sprout wings and fly. But as a writer, I can imagine an artificial intelligence that might be indistinguishable from a person in most ways.

And so, as Henry attempts to solve real-world limited problems with his computer programs, the development of a singularity comes somewhat as a surprise, not an intent.

And how he interacts with it is more surprising yet.

Forever Yours by aroslav (Devon Layne) begins serialization today on StoriesOnline. Free.


Next week—I know I had a topic in mind. I’ll have to inquire of my avatar as to what it was!

 

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