I heard from a reader, dingbatking, who first discovered my story, “Katie Saves Valentine’s Day,” from a post that I had on Bluesky. He then “jumped around a little bit here and there” and when my work was available for download on Bookapy, he bought my first novel. (Well, I don’t know if he bought “the first one,” but he bought a copy of my first book!) He told me that he wanted to support my work and that Freya and Friends are his “favorite group of characters out of anything [he’s] read.”
Feedback from readers means a lot to me. It’s important to know that I’m not just screaming into the abyss. Or just babbling to myself in this lonely world of my own making.
I was talking to my editor a few weeks ago and sharing my appreciation for all that he does. He, of course, downplayed his role, but one of the things that I pointed out is that my writing is such a lonely job. It’s just me and my imagination sitting in a room trying to figure all of this stuff out.
In my experience with other writers, it seems like many of them chat amongst themselves and share ideas and even outright collaborate. I’ve never done that. I can’t. I feel that I have a clear vision of what I want to say and I fear that any outside influence will dilute my work. Sully it. And I can’t have that. And it’s entirely a “me” thing. I just don’t work well with others.
My editor pointed out that he thinks that I prefer this lonely place.
And I do.
I love my family. They accept me and my… “quirks.” My home and my family is truly my “safe space.” Interactions with anything outside of that – or any part of the outside world entering into this place – stresses me out. A lot.
So, yeah. I like working alone. I prefer it.
But it can get lonely.
And people like my editor and readers who contact me, help make my writing world a little less lonely.
And that’s nice.
On to the topic of today’s blog post…
A few sentences back, I wrote that when I write, “it’s just me and my imagination sitting in a room trying to figure all of this stuff out.”
What is “all this stuff,” though?
It’s everything inside of me.
My writing is me.
All the joy, fear, love, hatred, uncertainty, passion, humor, depression – all of the emotions you can imagine. And probably some more that you can’t imagine. I’m cursed with a VERY vivid (and uncontrollable) imagination.
And sometimes my brain decides to write something different.
I agree with dingbatking. Freya and friends are MY favorite group of characters out of anything that I’VE read. Quite egotistical, but whatever!
But sometimes my fingers type something different.
Enter the character of Tartura. The cum vampire – or whatever she is.
I just invented her, put myself into her mind, and typed. 7,000 words later, I had a story. A reader described “Tartura: Destroyer of Innocent Souls” as “a stream of consciousness monologue that reads like a nightmare.”
That’s about right.
Tartura, the character, is a nightmare and while I was in her head typing, it was just whatever came out.
To me, it’s a disturbing story, but ultimately one of redemption. Originally, I had it just end in the darkest place possible, but then the real Freya spoke up and I couldn’t let that happen. I still love a happy ending. Even – perhaps even more so – when it is preceded by such horror.
In my mind, “Tartura: Destroyer of Innocent Souls” is a story about a woman tortured by addiction, abuse (sexual and emotional, childhood and adulthood), self-loathing, hatred, religion, suicide, death, the uncertainty and unfairness of life, what happens (or what doesn’t happen) after life… There is an awful lot to work through with this story.
Perhaps that’s why it’s one of my favorites.
And maybe that’s why it has been difficult for readers to appreciate.
Anyway, I just wanted to take a few minutes to share some of my thoughts on this story with you.
Thank you.
Love, Frey