I got my first blog response!! Yay!!! And it wasn't "show us your tits!" Double yay!!!
Briowink asked, “Hi Author Freya, other than erotica (or smut), what do you enjoy reading? Favorite books, genres, or authors? Thanks!”
Thank you for the great question, Briowink, but first, I want to muse on the screen name, Briowink.
As I say it in my head, I am subdividing it into two parts, “brio” and “wink.” Brio means “vigor or vivacity of style or performance.” And no, I didn’t know that off the top of my head. But the internet has all the answers to everything. And “wink,” well, that’s a wink.
So, Briowink is a healthy (vigor), attractively lively (vivacious), and stylish winker.
Interesting.
Of course, one could subdivide that screen name up differently. Like “Bri” as short for Brian, “ow” as in the exclamation used to express sudden pain, and “ink” meaning the slang term for a tattoo. So, maybe Brian is expressing the pain he experienced while getting a recent tattoo?
Also, interesting. Maybe even more interesting than the stylish winker.
But I digress.
Other than smut, what do I enjoy reading?
Well, I rarely read any erotica. I write it. If I have the time to read, then I have the time to write. Also, I don’t want another author’s ideas to infiltrate mine. I don’t actively avoid reading any, but it’s just not something that I do as a hobby.
But I do read!
The back of breakfast cereal boxes.
How I can save hundreds on car insurance.
The riot act.
I love to read that one.
But seriously, folks…
Lately, I’ve been very interested in biographies and autobiographies. I go to thrift stores or used bookstores and just scan the biography section and see what jumps out at me.
I recently read a VERY wacky one written by Jim Carrey and Dana Vachon called “Memoirs and Misinformation.” It is a completely wacky and crazy fictional story that draws into it such wild elements as a hooker who cosplays as Marilyn Monroe, a devastating forest fire, Charlie Chaplin’s cane, aliens, dinosaur bones, a ton of celebrities doing nutty stuff… It’s completely bonkers. And it’s no wonder that I liked it.
I am currently reading the autobiography of Anthony Kiedis, the singer/songwriter in the Red Hot Chili Peppers rock band. It’s interesting, but mostly in an almost repellent way. The book is well-written and is holding my interest (so far!), but there’s an awful lot of casual drug use and it really paints a picture of Mr. Kiedis as… maybe just a not very good person? I don’t know. The jury’s still out on whether I’ll finish the book or just abandon it.
Along those lines, a book that I read that I did like a lot was “Me” by Elton John. Of course it contained plenty of interesting stories, but one thing that I respected about the book (as well as Sir Elton Hercules John – and how can you NOT love someone who legally changed his name to include Hercules??) was that he painted his copious drug use as bad. He owned all of his poor choices right from the start.
I know that my views on this are biased, but my blog, my views!
What are some books that you all like to read?
Any recommendations for me?
Love, Frey
Hey! So… I’ve never blogged before. Heck, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to put in a blog!! My publisher told me that I can blog about a particular story or just anything at all. He either doesn’t know me that well or he figures that a completely cute and crazy trainwreck would be good marketing. Whichever it is, you can blame him for your blogging experience with me.
Welcome to my sexy insanity!
But before the lunacy, I’ll give you a little background so you can get to know me better. Of course, the best way to do that is through my stories. And no, that’s not a plug. In fact, I’m not going to shamelessly hock my work here. No one wants that!
My publisher will be pissed about that.
Okay. To keep him happy, here it is:
BUY MY BOOKS
RATE THEM HIGHLY
SHARE LINKS TO MY WORK
Great.
Now back to why you’re here.
A while ago, I read a news article about a woman who was making a ton of money selling sexy pictures online. An absolute TON of money. And I wanted in! But no one’s going to buy sexy pictures of me, I said. Besides, I’m WAY too shy for that.
What to do… what to do…
Lightbulb!!!
I have a wild and sexy imagination and I can write in coherent sentences!
Bingo!!!!
After a little internet research, it seems that people can sell sexy stories online. Well, what do you know? Maybe I can sell sexy stories online?
And a little over a year later, here we are! Neat, huh?
So, now you’re all caught up.
(Dead air)
(Drumming fingers on the tabletop)
Well, I guess a good use of this blog would be to interact with YOU. So, what should I talk about? What do you want to know? And I know where some of your minds are going! Naughty, naughty! Let’s keep this professional, shall we?
Oh, wait. The phones are lighting up!
“Hello. Welcome to… (crap, I didn’t think of a good name… and I’m terrible under pressure…) Welcome to Sexy Freya’s Sexy… Talk Show… (oh, that sucked). What would you like me to talk about?”
“Hey, Frey! First time caller, long time reader. Uh, I was wondering about the infamous hippo story you wrote. Can you tell us a little bit about that?”
“Oh, boy! The hippo story… Sure. Thank you for calling.”
“I love you!”
“That’s sweet. Thanks. Bye-bye.”
Oh… the hippo story. I joined the WRIST website and they have a monthly story contest. The first month I was there, the contest was about your best/worst date. So, my demented brain came up with a story about a woman that works as a “gloryhole gal.” I don’t even know if that’s an actual profession? Anyway, she falls in love with one of her regulars. Then I reread the rules. Well, this isn’t MY date. So, I disqualified myself and just published it. As it turns out, you’re allowed to make stuff up. But I didn’t know.
So, the second month, I wrote two stories for the contest. I’m happy to say that one of them won first place! My first entry in my first contest! My second entry was the hippo story. It was good enough to come in third place (missed second place by a single vote!). But it did cause quite a bit of chatter on the site.
The theme for that month was nudity. Well, that, of course, works in pretty well with sexy stories. My first-place story was sexy. Very sexy. The hippo? Hippos just aren’t sexy.
Another member had posted a picture of a giant hippo chasing a fat, bald, naked man and people commented that that was a story that they would want to read. I aim to please, so I wrote that story.
It was a story about a poor man on a safari who was “tricked” into stripping down and he then finds himself face-to-face with a murderous hippopotamus. And hilarity ensues.
The issue was that – hang on. I’m going to unplug this phone. I hate to be interrupted while I’m talking!
Alright. So, the issue was that I wrote it from the standpoint of the fat, bald, naked man. This threw people who were trying to figure out who wrote it (including a friend of mine who figured out that I wrote the sexy one, but thought that the hippo story was definitely not me). In fact, people thought that the girl who posted the photo was the author.
Looking back, that may have actually helped me as she is a very well-respected author and member of that site.
During the course of the contest, the hippo story got a lot of comments. People found it funny, silly, crazy, LOL, someone commented “Is the obituary the follow-up story?” Blah, blah, blah.
Sadly, I think the lack of sexiness hurt my contest chances. I can’t help but think if only I had had the hippo mount the poor man, maybe I would have won first and second place.
It’s too late now.
Whoops. My producer is banging on the window with a handwritten sign. “Plug the damn phone back in!!!!” Well, the extra exclamation points seem excessive, but fine.
Ooo. That’s a lot of calls.
“Hello, you’re on the air.”
“Freya! Huge fan! Love your stories!”
“Aww. Thank you. What’s your question?”
“I love Cynthia and Katie and my favorite story of yours is the one where they go to the malls and round up all of the Santas for Cynthia to fuck.”
“Yeah. That one’s a big fan favorite. It’s actually my second highest-rated story and my second most-read story – only beat out in that category by the very first short story that I ever published.”
“The First Blowjob.”
“Ah! You did your homework!”
“Just a big fan. I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you!”
“Thank you. It’s great talking to you! So, what’s your question?”
“Well, we know that Cynthia had a bit of a troubled childhood, though we’re not exactly sure what that’s all about.”
“Let me interrupt you for a sec. As I’m sure you know, I try to write very realistically and try to create very realistic characters. As a side effect of that – kind of a necessary evil – is that sometimes things go unwritten and unknown. In real life, there are things that you just don’t know. There are things that never get resolved. There’s a writing theory called Chekhov's Gun that states everything in a story must have significance and anything irrelevant must be removed. That’s not how it is in real life. You may know someone who loves parrots, but you may never know why. You just accept that they love parrots. Sorry. Go on.”
“Well, my question was whether or not we were ever going to find out what happened to her. But you just answered that.”
“Oh! Well, then do you have a bonus question?”
“Ummm… Yeah. So, is Cynthia bi?”
“Ha! No. Not at all. She’s complex. But, no, she loves Katie. 100 percent.”
“Not to seem argumentative –”
“Please! Argue!”
“Okay. I just don’t want to be disrespectful.”
“I don’t want you to be disrespectful to me, either. But I’m giving you permission to argue.”
“Not really an argument, but Cynthia had no history of lesbianism before Katie came out to her and we all know how much Cynthia likes… a man’s… genitalia.”
“You can say a naughty word.”
“Cock. Wow. I can’t believe that I just said ‘cock’ to Freya Gersemi.”
“Alright. Settle down. I’m just a girl that writes sexy stories.”
“Sorry. I’m just such a –”
“Big fan. Yes. Thank you. Continue.”
“So, she has no history of liking girls, and she certainly likes guys, but she’s engaged to Katie. I have to admit, I don’t quite get it. What’s up with Cynthia?”
“Like I said, she’s complex. She may seem like the happy-go-lucky wise-cracking busty vixen that she is, but there’s a lot more going on. But that may be a story for another time. Right now, I guess I’ll set the record straight on her sexuality. Here’s how I see Cynthia. She is absolutely in love with Katie. And it has very little to do with the fact that Katie is also a girl. So, I guess, Cynthia is a lesbian kind of by default. She likes having sex with guys. She likes having sex with women. She likes having sex by herself! She just likes having sex! But she’s in love with Katie. Katie is her entire world. And Cynthia is Katie’s entire world. Amidst all the extra-curricular sexual shenanigans – and despite how much they fight and argue – theirs is the purest love of any character that I’ve ever written. Their love is completely unshakable.”
“Wow! Thank you, Freya! You’re an amazing author!”
“Aw, shucks.”
“No, I mean, the depth of character, the reality, the humanity that you bring to the written page –”
“I’m going to stop you right there. This is starting to sound like ad copy for my stories. I don’t want this to just turn into a self-serving promotional thing. But thank you for your kind words.”
“Oh, and one more thing?”
“Make it quick.”
“Baba-booey!” (click)
Okay. I don’t know what that’s about. But anyway, that’s all the time we have for today. I hope you enjoyed your little peek into the wacky mind of me.
I’ve been told that there’s a way readers can contact me through the SOL website. I’m hopelessly hopeless with anything tech, so if you can figure it out, I’d love to hear from you.
Of course, keep it respectful, please.
Let me know if there’s anything that you want me to talk about on this blog. I have limited time, so I can’t promise that I’ll get to every message or answer every question, but I’ll do my best.
Thanks for bearing with me this far!
Love, Frey