Is it ‘Mary and me’ or is it ‘Mary and I’?
Trust me! Sometimes writing ‘Mary and me’ is the right way to write it. Sometimes not.
--
Writing ‘Me and Mary’ is never right! Mary isn't mean! Write ‘Mary and me’.
--
Here’s an easy trick to figure it out!
Just write it without that pesky Mary. Then, say it out loud. Your ears already know which pronoun is correct.
--
First example: you, the author, are describing what you did: ‘Mary and me thanked people for coming to the rescue.’
Rewrite it dropping that other person: ‘Me thanked people for coming to the rescue.’
Now, (the magic happens here,) say it out loud.
Hey! That’s not right! Me never thanked people for anything. I always thank them!
Your ears know which pronoun is correct.
So, write it the other way! ‘I thanked people for coming to the rescue.’
Now, say it out loud. Your ears know which pronoun is correct.
The rest of the trick?
Add back in that Mary person: ‘Mary and I thanked people for coming to the rescue.’ When you add back the other person, the pronoun does not change but you always write ‘Mary and I’ and never ‘I and Mary’. Go figure.
--
Second example: you, the author, are describing what happened: ‘People came over to Mary and I and thanked Mary and I for coming to the rescue.’
Rewrite it dropping that other person: ‘People came over to I and thanked I for coming to the rescue.’
Now, (the magic happens here,) say it out loud.
Hey! That’s not right! Nobody ever thanked I for anything. They always thank me!
So, write it the other way! ‘People came over to me and thanked me for coming to the rescue.’
Now, say it out loud. Your ears know which pronoun is correct.
The rest of the trick?
Add back in that Mary person: ‘People came over to Mary and me and thanked Mary and me for coming to the rescue.’ When you add back the other person, the pronoun does not change.
--
Hint: Simplify the two of you as ‘we’ if it sounds better than ‘us’.
‘We thanked people for coming to the rescue.’ works.
‘Us thanked people for coming to the rescue.’ doesn’t.
‘People came over to Mary and me and thanked us for coming to the rescue.’ works.
‘People came over to Mary and me and thanked we for coming to the rescue.’ doesn’t.
Trust your ears!
--
Danged English 101 crap: The grammatical explanation is that when writing about things you do, you are the subject of the sentence. The pronouns ‘I’ and ‘we’ are for the subject.
--
When writing about things done to you, you are the object of the sentence. The pronouns ‘me’ and ‘us’ are for the object.
--
But, you can’t fool your ears.