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Revised my NiS story

Posted at Updated:
 

Several people gave me feedback on the first version of Anna & Jayden Naked in School and several more rated it. Thank you all.

It seems that some people really liked it, while more people did not. I added some bits to try to clarify what was going on for the reader when the participants didn't understand.

I had attempted to make Jayden's portions very different from Anna's by including just about every spelling error I've seen students make. A few readers told me this made his part of the story impossible to read, so I have significantly improved the spelling there. I hope that helps.

I hope this is an improvement.

Addendum: the apostrophes did not render correctly, so I am uploading it again.

 

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