While perusing the stories, I came across "Topless Daughters at the Pool" and decided to give it a go. It's a good idea and one I haven't come across before in my travels through the erotic fiction landscape. The setup is intriguing and has the potential to lead to some steamy, taboo-flirting scenarios that could really get readers' pulses racing. I genuinely hope the author takes this as the constructive feedback it's intended to be, not as a jab at their writing chops. Lots of folks around here get pretty defensive when critiqued, but that's the only way to grow and level up your skills.
While I like the idea and the story set up, the execution falls short in several areas. The narrative suffers from grammatical errors, awkward sentence structure, and a lack of proper formatting, resulting in a wall of text that can be challenging to navigate. The writing style comes across as immature, more reminiscent of a teenager's work than that of a seasoned author.
Despite these shortcomings, I believe that with the guidance of a skilled editor, it could undergo a transformative revision process. The author's creative vision and unique perspective are evident, even if they are somewhat obscured by the technical issues. Although the formatting hurdles initially made it difficult to engage with the story, I found myself drawn to the core concept and felt compelled to provide constructive feedback.
So dearest author, if you're reading this, don't throw in the towel. Stick with it and keep at it - you've got the creative spark, the seed of something that could be truly titillating. Just like Superman squeezing coal into diamonds with his Kryptonian grip, you've got the power to transform this rough draft into a polished gem of erotic literature.
Even Lady Whistledown started somewhere!
Embrace the edit, trim the excess, and let your voice ooze off the page. With some tender loving care, your story could go from a clumsy first time to a five-star trip to O-town. You've got this - now get in there and make it sizzle!
Damn… Now I’ve got a hankering for a burger.