I have finally managed to post a NiS story that I've been working on intermittently for a couple of years. Looking at it, it doesn't seem to have come out as well as I had hoped.
I tried to make the two characters write differently, but the result is that one of them seems hard to read.
I tried to make it realistic, but the result is that not enough happens.
I tried to make the characters get more used to their situation as the story progressed, but the result is that the story gets thinner.
I welcome constructive suggestions for ways to improve it. I might even take some of them.